Author Topic: How do you (tactfully) communicate appropriate wedding attire?  (Read 1224 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

lellah

  • Member
  • **
  • Posts: 189
I'm having my wedding at an unusual venue.  This is causing a lot of confusion about what people should wear.  We're not expecting people to wear white tie or Halloween costumes or clothing for a bbq--just typical dress up clothes. I'm a little surprised that is an issue.

I think a little note on the wedding website is the way to go.  But I don't want to make it sound as though I don't trust my nearest and dearest to dress appropriately.  Any suggestions?

Outdoor Girl

  • Super Hero!
  • ****
  • Posts: 13822
Re: How do you (tactfully) communicate appropriate wedding attire?
« Reply #1 on: April 28, 2014, 10:15:09 AM »
I think putting something on your website is fine.

Maybe something like:  'Because of our unusual venue, we've been getting lots of questions about what to wear for the wedding.  We're aiming for dressy but not formal.  Cocktail dresses for the ladies, dress pants, shirts and ties for the gentleman, for example.  Hope that helps!'

Or something like that - maybe someone out there has better wording.
I have CDO.  It is like OCD but with the letters in alphabetical order, as they should be.
Ontario

TurtleDove

  • Super Hero!
  • ****
  • Posts: 6010
Re: How do you (tactfully) communicate appropriate wedding attire?
« Reply #2 on: April 28, 2014, 10:16:07 AM »
Why are you assuming this is an issue?  What do you mean by "unusual venue"?  I've been to several wedding receptions at zoos - both in "The Tropics" and in the "Underwater" areas.  People showed up wearing typical wedding attire (without any sort of mass announcement) and the weddings were all beautiful.

lellah

  • Member
  • **
  • Posts: 189
Re: How do you (tactfully) communicate appropriate wedding attire?
« Reply #3 on: April 28, 2014, 10:21:16 AM »
Why are you assuming this is an issue?  What do you mean by "unusual venue"?  I've been to several wedding receptions at zoos - both in "The Tropics" and in the "Underwater" areas.  People showed up wearing typical wedding attire (without any sort of mass announcement) and the weddings were all beautiful.

I am assuming it's an issue because around 80% of the people I've spoken to have immediately asked what they're supposed to wear. 

TurtleDove

  • Super Hero!
  • ****
  • Posts: 6010
Re: How do you (tactfully) communicate appropriate wedding attire?
« Reply #4 on: April 28, 2014, 10:30:25 AM »
Why are you assuming this is an issue?  What do you mean by "unusual venue"?  I've been to several wedding receptions at zoos - both in "The Tropics" and in the "Underwater" areas.  People showed up wearing typical wedding attire (without any sort of mass announcement) and the weddings were all beautiful.

I am assuming it's an issue because around 80% of the people I've spoken to have immediately asked what they're supposed to wear.

In that case, I would just tell them when they ask!  If you have a wedding website you could make note there, but otherwise, I would assume people who have questions about what to wear will ask you directly and there is no need for a specific public statement.  I am dying to know the venue!?!??

lowspark

  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 4000
Re: How do you (tactfully) communicate appropriate wedding attire?
« Reply #5 on: April 28, 2014, 10:30:39 AM »
I'm assuming that the invitations have already been sent? Because it would have been perfectly appropriate to have put the dress code on there. "Cocktail attire" or similar.

But yes, if you are getting a lot of questions, I'd definitely put it on the website. If you want to qualify it you can say, "We've been getting a lot of inquiries as to dress code for the wedding. It's cocktail attire. We're looking forward to celebrating with our friends and family."

Or you can just put it as a simple line.
"Wedding will be cocktail attire."

If I didn't see it on the invitation and saw it on the website, I wouldn't think you didn't trust me to dress appropriately, I'd assume you'd just forgotten to put it on the invitation because regardless of the venue or time of day, that's always the first question I have -- what to wear. Now, yes, sometimes, it's obvious. Evening wedding with full dinner at a hotel, it's gonna be dress up time. Wedding on the beach at 10 am, definitely more casual, i.e., I wouldn't assume shorts but definitely sandals and no hose. But the best way to remove all doubt is just to state your intentions clearly. It's not only acceptable, it's expected.

peaches

  • Member
  • **
  • Posts: 814
Re: How do you (tactfully) communicate appropriate wedding attire?
« Reply #6 on: April 28, 2014, 11:00:37 AM »
I'm not surprised it's an issue. Particularly if the style of dress wasn't mentioned on the wedding invitation, and the venue is an unusual one, I would expect guests to have some questions.

They're not questioning your choice of venue or style of wedding, they just want to make sure they don't embarrass you or themselves by wearing the wrong thing.

You can either answer their questions, and expect family and friends to spread the word. And/or you could mention the style of dress on a wedding website.

What to tell your guests would depend on the time of day and style of the wedding (formal, semiformal or casual). These determine what people would wear.

Here's a summary by Emily Post. You could use the examples she's cited when discussing with your guests.

http://www.emilypost.com/guests/guest-attire