Author Topic: New neighbours - who makes the first move?  (Read 2352 times)

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fountainof

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Re: New neighbours - who makes the first move?
« Reply #15 on: January 28, 2014, 11:35:22 AM »
I would just introduce myself when I saw them outside.  I don't think I would ring their door as it is a disruption.  I personally only like people I am expecting at my door and while I would answer the door because people can easily tell I am at home, I wouldn't be happy about it (but I would be super nice and fake like it doesn't bother me).

TootsNYC

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Re: New neighbours - who makes the first move?
« Reply #16 on: January 28, 2014, 11:38:13 AM »
I would just introduce myself when I saw them outside.  I don't think I would ring their door as it is a disruption.  I personally only like people I am expecting at my door and while I would answer the door because people can easily tell I am at home, I wouldn't be happy about it (but I would be super nice and fake like it doesn't bother me).

This is one of those responses I sometimes think we should all be avoiding.

Of course you should be pleasant when someone does something you don't love but that is technically OK.

But why be "super" nice? Then you're just sending false messages. There are other degrees of reaction that would still be pleasant.


gingerzing

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Re: New neighbours - who makes the first move?
« Reply #17 on: January 28, 2014, 12:57:19 PM »
My across-the-street neighbor came to my house the day before we actually moved in.  I was painting the kitchen ceiling when she rang the back door bell.  (she could see me in the kitchen near that door.)  She was so sweet and brought us a box of fruit (apples oranges and bananas)   
As for a disruption.  Well, that is why I have a doorbell is to let me know if someone is there.  Neighbor lady could tell I was busy with painting.  But it took about 2 minutes from what I was doing to say hello.  And we have been friends with her -and was with her late husband - for many years. 

I guess it also depends on the culture of the place you are living.  We don't have neighborhood block parties, but most of us know each other.  We watch out for our neighbor lady since she is about my mom's age and I know it makes her adult kids happy that we are close.  When we lost power a few months ago, I went to the newest neighbor's house to let her know that since I had a gas stove, she could come to the house to warm up the baby's bottle or fix some soup since I knew she had an electric stove.   

jaxsue

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Re: New neighbours - who makes the first move?
« Reply #18 on: January 28, 2014, 01:12:22 PM »
Another little 'gift' they might find helpful could be a few take-out menus from restaurants you like.

Great idea. One of the first things I wanted to know about my new town (when I moved here 2.5 yrs ago) was where the best food/shopping was.

fountainof

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Re: New neighbours - who makes the first move?
« Reply #19 on: January 28, 2014, 01:27:19 PM »
Quote
But why be "super" nice? Then you're just sending false messages. There are other degrees of reaction that would still be pleasant.
I have to be extra nice as I am internally actually very annoyed about someone non-invited over ringing my doorbell so if I don't force myself to be extra nice you will tell I am really annoyed and probably think I am a big B, which I admit I am sometimes.  I know that may be weird to some people but I am not a drop by person, even for 2 minutes.  I may not have a bra on or even pants and then I run around trying to get dressed since at home I often walk around in various states of undress.

mlogica

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Re: New neighbours - who makes the first move?
« Reply #20 on: January 28, 2014, 01:46:46 PM »
Our neighbourhood is very friendly, and we keep an eye on each others' houses and such.  But in terms of introductions, when we moved in several years ago we met all of our neighbours as they saw us in the front yard and came over to say Hello and introduce themselves.  A new family just bought the house across the street from us, and there was a big "meet and greet" just before Christmas when we were all outside shoveling snow at the same time.

Re:  cookies or other food.  TBH, I'm pretty trusting but there is something about receiving home made food from someone I don't know (and don't know anything about) that would kind of squick me out.  So if I were going to knock on someone's door and welcome them to the neighbourhood, I'd take something non-food if it seemed like a gift was appropriate.  YMMV of course.

amandaelizabeth

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Re: New neighbours - who makes the first move?
« Reply #21 on: January 28, 2014, 09:39:02 PM »
around here it usual to take muffins.  Being in Queensland though maybe you could try pumpkin scones.

veronaz

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Re: New neighbours - who makes the first move?
« Reply #22 on: January 28, 2014, 10:08:35 PM »
I would just introduce myself when I saw them outside.  I don't think I would ring their door as it is a disruption. 
(snip)

I agree with this.  I don't think an actual personal appearance to welcome them is necessary anymore, and some people don't want to be bothered with that.  But a friendly wave, smile, minute of chitchat in the driveway or at the dumpster is fine.

I remember the “Welcome Wagon”…..a goodie bag with invitations to church, restaurant coupons, and a few small gifts.  But those days are over.  While some like the "borrow/lend/come over anytime for coffee and small talk" neighbors, many people don’t want to get that close to their neighbors.
« Last Edit: January 28, 2014, 10:12:30 PM by veronaz »

figee

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Re: New neighbours - who makes the first move?
« Reply #23 on: January 29, 2014, 01:48:48 AM »
around here it usual to take muffins.  Being in Queensland though maybe you could try pumpkin scones.

Aaaaaand amandaelizabeth for the win!

We moved house in the middle of last year and met everyone outside at various times, although we had met one set of neighbours before moving in because we were introduced by the old house owners.  Much more organic!