I play Bunco once a month with a group of 12 women. For those who don't know what Bunco is, it's a mindless dice game, 100% luck/0% skill, that you play once a month, alternating houses. The main point of playing bunco is to eat, drink and gab with 11 other women, with the throwing of the dice just an excuse to get all 12 women to try to show up each month. Since we rotate houses, you host once a year.
My group has been together about three years and as time goes on, people drop out for various reasons and we add new members to keep it at 12. So this story involves a fairly new member whose turn to host came up recently. I'll call her Amy.
Now, the agreement is that it's women only. Husbands & kids (all of whom are high school age or older) are to stay out of site. It's ok if the husband shows up for 5 minutes. Sometimes hubby's been out and arrives home so he passes through on his way to the bedroom. Sometimes hubby's been hanging out in the bedroom and comes out to get some food. That sort of thing.
When we had bunco at Amy's house, the husband was there in the kitchen when we first arrived, just sort of hanging out. Ok... but then he made the announcement that although he knew this was supposed to be women only, he had no intention of disappearing. He then proceeded to get in peoples' way as we were milling about in groups chatting (before the game started).
His excuse for being there was that their computer was in the kitchen. But it wasn't as if he was exclusively on the computer. He was in the kitchen, fixing dinner for himself, getting in our way and inevitably, us getting in his way. And once we started playing, although he was on the computer, he kept interjecting himself in conversations and generally making his presence known.
I was totally unimpressed. I mean, it's one night a year so really, he couldn't figure out someplace else to be for two and a half hours? And with him there, we were sort of forced to curtail some of the normal girl talk cuz you know, there's some stuff you'd say to other women that you wouldn't necessarily want the husband(s) hearing, much less one you'd never even met before.
My preliminary question is, isn't it rude for him to be there like this? And isn't it fairly rude for Amy to not convince him to leave, knowing that we all do get our husbands out of the way when we host? She kind of acted like she thought it was funny. Like "oh well, I know y'all get your husbands to leave but mine's going to hang around."
And my secondary question is, I'd like to say something to him next time we meet at her house. What I want to ask is, doesn't it make you uncomfortable to be here?
I don't want to be rude, but I kinda feel like since none of us said anything we were sort of saying it was ok for him to be there and it definitely was not.
What do you think?