Author Topic: Kids say the funniest things  (Read 194597 times)

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MommyPenguin

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Re: Kids say the funniest things
« Reply #1275 on: August 06, 2014, 08:04:44 PM »
That would be adorable, Piratelvr!  My husband and I joke about that line all the time.  Mostly because he's a huge Harrison Ford fan and likes to let his facial hair grow and get a bit "scruffy-looking" when he doesn't have to be in uniform for a few days.


Two lines amused me by my kids today.  Each of my kids has a sort of animal "avatar," you might say.  A favorite animal that they like to pretend to be a lot of the time.  But the 1-year-old obviously doesn't really have a favorite animal yet.  My 5-year-old, Jenny, was arguing that Megan's (1-year-old) animal should really be a duck.  Because her lovey is a duck blanket thing, and

"She likes playing in the toilet, and that's almost like a pond!"


The other was my 3-year-old, Charlotte.  Her animal is a cat (she likes to say "kittycat" and call herself a "baby kittycat" instead of a kitten).  So, she was pretending to be a kittycat. I swooped in to give her a hug, and as I pulled back, I realized my chin was wet. She grinned at me.
"I licked you!"
I said, "Lottie, no, don't lick."
She said, "But kittycats lick!"
Me: "But *human* kittycats don't like. It's yucky."
Her: "Well, it was an accident! My tongue just sort of squeezed out between my lips and licked you!"

Piratelvr1121

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Re: Kids say the funniest things
« Reply #1276 on: August 07, 2014, 09:33:32 AM »
That would be adorable, Piratelvr!  My husband and I joke about that line all the time.  Mostly because he's a huge Harrison Ford fan and likes to let his facial hair grow and get a bit "scruffy-looking" when he doesn't have to be in uniform for a few days.

My DH used to do that too, when he was in the Marines and still does when he's off work long enough to get some growth going.

I had to chuckle when I was watching Star Wars with the boys, the youngest pointed to Han and said "Pirate!"
Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars.  You have a right to be here. Be cheerful, strive to be happy. -Desiderata

twoferrets

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Re: Kids say the funniest things
« Reply #1277 on: August 08, 2014, 10:16:16 AM »
My best friend's little boy followed her into the bathroom when he was maybe two or three- old enough to start noticing the difference between his body and mommy's. And she and her husband were trying to use the proper words for parts, which for some reason makes this even funnier to me:

Little Boy, pointing: Mommy, what's that?
Mommy: That is my v@gina.
Little Boy: V@ginas! I LOVE THOSE!

parrot_girl

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Re: Kids say the funniest things
« Reply #1278 on: August 09, 2014, 07:14:24 AM »
DS: old McDonald had a farm EIEIO...


On this farm he had a:


Cat
Dog
Bird
Owl
Spider (the noise is Aaagh which is what Mummy says)
Worm (cue yucky sucky noise)
Elephant (??)
Frog (??)
T-Rex (??)
Lion (??)
Cow (that's better)
Fish (sssshhhh)
Snake
Duck
Horse (that's better)
Turtle (there is no noise)


I wish I'd not taught him that song, since it lasts up to half an hour while he thinks of the most random animals ever.
Your son and mine have a lot in common, except his song is "The Wheels on the Bus." Not only do the wheels go round and round, the doors open and shut, people step on and off, wipers go swish swish swish, but the goldfish go blub blub blub, the babies go wah wah wah, the cats go yowl yowl yowl, the speedbumps under the bus go badomp badomp badomp...it can easily go to 20 or so verses.

MommyPenguin

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Re: Kids say the funniest things
« Reply #1279 on: August 09, 2014, 10:43:26 AM »
I was thinking the same thing!  Our bus is full of animals, too.  :)  My favorite part is the giraffes.  Did you know that giraffes communicate subsonically?  And they do so by sort of throwing back their heads?  The giraffes on our bus do that, too.

Hollanda

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Re: Kids say the funniest things
« Reply #1280 on: August 11, 2014, 05:49:23 PM »
Me: Charlie, bed time. Did you hear me?
DS: er, no, Mummy. I don't hear you.




 ::)


Me: (earlier in the evening) I was only pulling your leg (UK slang for "joking with you")
DS looked baffled at me, then pointed to his leg and said "No Mummy, you're not. It's here."


 ;D
Time flies like an arrow.
Fruit flies like a banana.


Hollanda

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Re: Kids say the funniest things
« Reply #1281 on: August 11, 2014, 05:51:41 PM »
I was thinking the same thing!  Our bus is full of animals, too.  :)  My favorite part is the giraffes.  Did you know that giraffes communicate subsonically?  And they do so by sort of throwing back their heads?  The giraffes on our bus do that, too.


Oh my days this made me laugh.


We had a donkey on Old McDonalds farm on Saturday. Which ate the turkey.  :o
Time flies like an arrow.
Fruit flies like a banana.


gramma dishes

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Re: Kids say the funniest things
« Reply #1282 on: August 11, 2014, 06:11:43 PM »
I was thinking the same thing!  Our bus is full of animals, too.  :)  My favorite part is the giraffes.  Did you know that giraffes communicate subsonically?  And they do so by sort of throwing back their heads?  The giraffes on our bus do that, too.


Oh my days this made me laugh.


We had a donkey on Old McDonalds farm on Saturday. Which ate the turkey.  :o

Early Thanksgiving?   ;D

White Dragon

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Re: Kids say the funniest things
« Reply #1283 on: August 14, 2014, 11:37:10 PM »
Not by a child, but to one...

My mom is named Mary Sue.

I am named after her, so I am Sue Ellen.

My nice is also named after my mom, so she is Anna Sue.

So her middle name is my name.

We were joshing around on the weekend. I don't recall what we were up to, but at one point I did threaten to "Take away her middle name."

The parent standing next to us burst out laughing and said thoughtfully "I'm going to have to remember that one!"

Mental Magpie

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Re: Kids say the funniest things
« Reply #1284 on: August 14, 2014, 11:53:57 PM »
Not by a child, but to one...

My mom is named Mary Sue.

I am named after her, so I am Sue Ellen.

My nice is also named after my mom, so she is Anna Sue.

So her middle name is my name.

We were joshing around on the weekend. I don't recall what we were up to, but at one point I did threaten to "Take away her middle name."

The parent standing next to us burst out laughing and said thoughtfully "I'm going to have to remember that one!"

Ha!  I can totally see that working on a kid!
The problem with choosing the lesser of two evils is that you're still choosing evil.

Mental Magpie

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Re: Kids say the funniest things
« Reply #1285 on: August 14, 2014, 11:56:16 PM »
When I get my mix all talked up (spoonerisms most often), which is quite often, I tend to say, "I speak English, I swear!"

Yesterday, DD managed a spoonerism and started to laugh because she noticed it.  As she's laughing, she said, "I don't even speak English yet!"  I admit I lost it.
The problem with choosing the lesser of two evils is that you're still choosing evil.

Piratelvr1121

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Re: Kids say the funniest things
« Reply #1286 on: August 15, 2014, 05:04:52 PM »
Youngest pirate's new song:

Bees a buzz, in summer!
Dwink ina han', no ah sand a tan
In summer!!!!
Oh ho oh ho a pie-ats wife a me!
Nanoo nanoo!

Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars.  You have a right to be here. Be cheerful, strive to be happy. -Desiderata

Hollanda

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Re: Kids say the funniest things
« Reply #1287 on: August 19, 2014, 08:29:04 AM »
Youngest pirate's new song:

Bees a buzz, in summer!
Dwink ina han', no ah sand a tan
In summer!!!!
Oh ho oh ho a pie-ats wife a me!
Nanoo nanoo!

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!!!
 
 
Time flies like an arrow.
Fruit flies like a banana.


wonderfullyanonymous

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Re: Kids say the funniest things
« Reply #1288 on: August 22, 2014, 09:35:50 PM »
The OH made some steaks on the grill last weekend, and I asked our granddaughter if she wanted any steak.

Yup. I want snake, I love snake!

Mental Magpie

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Re: Kids say the funniest things
« Reply #1289 on: August 22, 2014, 09:46:08 PM »
The OH made some steaks on the grill last weekend, and I asked our granddaughter if she wanted any steak.

Yup. I want snake, I love snake!

So cute!

That sounds like me...except I'm 26...and I actually mean snake, though I have no desire to eat a precious, no, not my precious.
The problem with choosing the lesser of two evils is that you're still choosing evil.