Author Topic: S/O misheard lyrics: Misheard in conversation  (Read 2792 times)

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baglady

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S/O misheard lyrics: Misheard in conversation
« on: January 28, 2014, 09:33:26 PM »
Not all mishearings involve song lyrics. Sometimes they happen in plain old conversation. Got any? Here's mine from today.

My friend/neighbor N. called to cancel our plans for tonight. Tom is her husband. John is another neighbor.

She said: Tom came home sick tonight.
I heard: John came home with Kryptonite.

I'm sorry Tom isn't feeling well, but the image of John -- who looks like Bret Michaels -- walking through the door with a green glowing rock in his hand is still cracking us both up.
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Moonie

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Re: S/O misheard lyrics: Misheard in conversation
« Reply #1 on: January 29, 2014, 11:18:45 AM »
One day I was visiting with my mother. I was reading a magazine and she was talking to me so I was only half listening. She said something to me and my response was:

Me: WHAT???!!! Why on earth would you do that? What would you do, walk a tightrope???

Mom: What are you talking about?

Me: Well you said you wished you had joined the circus when you were younger.

Mom:  I said I wished I had joined the SERVICE when I was younger.

Me:  Oh

We laughed for quite a while over that one.

Slartibartfast

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Re: S/O misheard lyrics: Misheard in conversation
« Reply #2 on: January 29, 2014, 01:24:49 PM »
Not really misheard, just funny - I was waiting while my daughter was in her piano lesson, and there was another woman in the waiting area with me.  I would have absolutely pegged her as a typical soccer mom - three kids taking lessons, drives a silver minivan, all the trappings.  But then I noticed she was on her phone and was saying "I'm done being mad. But then I'm sitting in a room painted the same color as in the space shuttle so the astronauts didn't go crazy."  Which made me giggle.  And then the more she talked, the more it became obvious she was an engineer for NASA.  Which isn't all that unusual in my city (we have the highest rate of women engineers in the country, and NASA is one of the big employers here), but I got a kick out of how hard I found it to reconcile "stereotypical soccer mom" and "rocket scientist"  :P

Editeer

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Re: S/O misheard lyrics: Misheard in conversation
« Reply #3 on: January 29, 2014, 04:59:58 PM »
I worked at an ice cream store for a while. We were all young (18-23) and there was a lot of joking and kidding around. One day, several of us were (good-naturedly) teasing one of the senior employees, and she said, "My, everyone's a comedian today." Another employee was doing something at the far end of the counter. He looked up and asked, "Marie, why is everyone Canadian today?"
From then on, anyone being funny was a Canadian. "You're such a Canadian." "What a Canadian!"

Outdoor Girl

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Re: S/O misheard lyrics: Misheard in conversation
« Reply #4 on: January 31, 2014, 01:36:21 PM »
This one happened a long time ago:  A friend of my Dad's was going to be undergoing some cancer treatment at a hospital quite a distance from home.  They would arrange for out of town folks to just stay for the week in rooms that were attached to the hospital.  But sometimes, they had so many people that they used another facility nearby and ran a shuttle service to get everyone to their appointments.

My Dad was driving friend to his appointment and was staying to see him settled and then was going to get him at the end of the week when his treatments were done.  When they got to reception, the lady behind the counter let him know that they didn't have any rooms left so he would be staying at 'The House of Kin'.  Friend kind of looked a bit shocked and said, 'Oh, I don't think I want to stay there!'.

You see, he'd heard 'House of Sin'.  Once Dad figured out the problem, all three of them had a good chuckle and Dad took friend over to stay in the House of Sin for the week.
After cleaning out my Dad's house, I have this advice:  If you haven't used it in a year, throw it out!!!!.
Ontario

Slartibartfast

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Re: S/O misheard lyrics: Misheard in conversation
« Reply #5 on: February 06, 2014, 10:18:20 AM »
Me to DH this morning, after reading a sad news story: "I'm so glad you're not deployed in Iraq or something!"

DH [confused]: "But all humans are diploid - oh.  Right."

I love my dorky husband  :P

(Ploidy)

LemonZen

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Re: S/O misheard lyrics: Misheard in conversation
« Reply #6 on: February 06, 2014, 10:39:39 AM »
This was an awkward one where someone misheard me:

A few years ago sitting at my table at a wedding reception, I was trying to introduce myself and make small talk as I didn't know very many people. So after talking to the lady beside me for a few minutes, and mentioning my job I said, "And what do you do?" of course meaning what does she do for work.

She answered: "February."

It took me a second to realize she had heard "When are you DUE?" Which was super awkward because she wasn't even showing yet (she was only 2 months along!) so I would have no way of knowing (and of course wouldn't have asked!) I felt so weird the rest of our conversation. I suppose it would have been even worse if she wasn't pregnant. :-[

TurtleDove

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Re: S/O misheard lyrics: Misheard in conversation
« Reply #7 on: February 06, 2014, 10:48:58 AM »
The other night I was talking with some of DH's friend about how long a typical shower should take.  I mentioned that even with long hair and shaving my legs it takes me under 5 minutes, but for some reason my 16-year-old stepson "needs" upwards of half and hour/45 minutes.  One of his friends commented that he would have expected it would take women longer to shower, since we have to do things like "lather up your boobs."

I was puzzled why he would think women would have to lather up their boobs and commented that I was offended (joking, of course) that he would insinuate that women have dirty boobs, or that we all put on lather bikinis given the opportunity.

He looked at me puzzled and then the lightbulb went off.  POUFS.  He thought all women use those mesh-like poufs and it would take time to lather up the poof and rub it all over.

For the record, I don't use a pouf so maybe that is why my showers do not take that long?  For the record, my 16 year old stepson DOES use a pouf.  DH's friends might be on to something!!!  :)

English1

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Re: S/O misheard lyrics: Misheard in conversation
« Reply #8 on: February 06, 2014, 12:52:36 PM »
I'm terrible at mishearing OH.

Last night
Him: Not so tired now? (I'd been a bit off colour for a few days)
Me: 11.30
Him No, not so tired now?
Me: 11.30  ???
Him: hysterical laughter.

I thought he was saying 'what's the time now?'


The other night he was reading the paper and said (while I was distracted with something else)
Him: 'Do you know it says here 50% of men don't know their partners dress size. You're an 18, right?'
Me: 18? That's not a proper size. That's my clothing size, yes, but not my bra size'
Him  ??? What are you talking about?
Me  ???
 I'd heard breast size...
« Last Edit: February 06, 2014, 12:56:37 PM by English1 »

Thipu1

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Re: S/O misheard lyrics: Misheard in conversation
« Reply #9 on: February 10, 2014, 09:31:20 AM »
'Margarita' can be a minefield for Misunderstandings.   

It was during  a coffee break at work and a few of us were discussing breakfast.  I mentioned that a weekday breakfast for me was usually juice, coffee and a couple of Margaritas. 

The others looked at me as if I had just announced that I enjoyed a meal of fried baby.  How could I drink several tequila cocktails before coming to the office?  It took a bit of back-pedaling to assure them that the Margaritas in question were a plain but tasty variety of Stella D'Oro cookie. Even though the things are sold in every grocery in NYC I had to bring in a box to be believed.   

On a similar note, we were on vacation and the ship's pizza bar offered pizza Marguerita.  A lady on line with us was intrigued by the prospect of a lime and tequila pizza. 


Paper Roses

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Re: S/O misheard lyrics: Misheard in conversation
« Reply #10 on: February 10, 2014, 04:52:12 PM »
One morning, as my husband was leaving for work, I mumbled something to him.  Thinking I'd said, "Don't forget your lunch," he replied, "Oh, yeah, thanks for reminding me, I almost DID!"

I said, "You're welcome, but that's not what I said."  He got quite a kick out of it when I told him I'd actually said, "I love you very much."

No, you can't, because you wishpishabonnyfish.

White Dragon

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Re: S/O misheard lyrics: Misheard in conversation
« Reply #11 on: February 24, 2014, 10:19:32 PM »
I had  hard time figuring out the best place to put this.  ;D

DrsgonSon likes nice clothes. He likes fashion and likes buying things that look good on him.
Which lead to today's conversation.
He was saying how he got lots of compliments on his new sweater and slacks.

I just sighed and said - for the umpteenth time - "You are such an clothes horse."

He laughed and replied "Yeah, I know, I am a clothes {word that sounds like horse but is a lady of negotiable virtue}".

 Blink, blink. "Did you just call yourself a clothes...?"  :o

"Well, that's what Dad calls me."

"I assure you, your father does NOT call you a clothes...!"

He just laughed and said "What? We don't have the kind of family where you can call me that? Because clothes horse, clothes ....either one describes me!"  ::)

Cricket

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Re: S/O misheard lyrics: Misheard in conversation
« Reply #12 on: June 07, 2014, 05:23:00 AM »
I invited an old friend, Joy, over to my place for afternoon tea and a catch up session. We hadn't seen each other alone for a year or so. I was boiling the kettle in the kitchen while Joy was sitting in the family room. It's open plan so the kitchen flows into the family room.

Me: Joy, do you still take two sugars in your coffee?

Joy: Oh, no! I use meatballs now.

Me  :o

Joy: I always carry a few in my purse.

Me  :o :o

and she proceeded to hand me a sachet of Equal.

Sirius

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Re: S/O misheard lyrics: Misheard in conversation
« Reply #13 on: June 10, 2014, 12:56:44 PM »
This one wasn't misheard, but my boss' expression when she heard this was priceless.

When I was still living at home I had a wooden cabinet that I kept books in that I called "my coffin."  So, everyone in my family referred to it that way.

One day my sister called me at work and asked me, "Where's your tape recorder?"

Me: "It's in my bedroom on top of my coffin."

After I hung up I realized that my boss and her husband were both looking at me as though I was crazy.  I explained what "my coffin" was, and they looked distinctly relieved.

WolfWay

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Re: S/O misheard lyrics: Misheard in conversation
« Reply #14 on: June 11, 2014, 07:28:57 AM »
Best misheard line I've ever personally overheard was one half of a phone conversation while I was standing in the line at the store:

"No no no... the Greeks left behind a wooden HORSE, not wooden whores! Neeeeigh! Clipclop! Horse!"


As I previously posted in another thread:

I think this might be the most confusing conversation I've ever had. Picture a 5 minute conversation between two people, talking about movies, where we're both think we're talking about the same movie, but we're actually talking about two completely different movies.

The movies in question: "51st State" (known as "Formula 51" in America, I believe) and "50 First Dates" (say them out loud and if you're not concentrating, it's very hard to hear the difference).

I was talking about the former (a British crime comedy in a similar vein as the Guy Ritchie Lock Stock movies, involving drugs, guns, and extreme violence), while coworker was talking about the second (an American romcom starring Adam Sandler and Drew Barrymore, about a woman who suffers from amnesia who has to be wooed anew every day).

Conversation snippets include:

Her: "I just thought is was so sweet in places"
Me: "Really?!" (thinking about the bit where the corrupt cops drop a cargo shipping container on a suspect by mistake)
Her: "I loved it when the main girl made a house out of waffles!"
Me: "Uhhh... I don't remember that being a plot point. I just remember her shooting her exboyfriend in the behind. But Samuel L Jackson playing golf in the nude was hysterical"
Her: "Shooting..what? Wait... Jackson? He was in it? NAKED?"
Me: "Ummm, yeah, he's the chemist who makes up the magical drug formula. You know, the same guy who mixes up the chemicals that make the bad guy explode all over the room."
Her: "Magical drug? What? Exploding dude?!  WHAT?! I don't remember that".
It's best to love your family as you would a Siberian Tiger - from a distance, preferably separated by bars . -- Pearls Before Swine (16-May-2009)