I don't expect a lot as far as acceptable levels of hospitality -- just a home that doesn't smell or look like we're at the zoo, which includes having a clean bathroom; DH expects almost nothing and gives everyone else a pass (because he believes we should be grateful for whatever someone provides). DH has a friend who we once went to visit when they had their own home. Friend and Wife invited us to stay over, and DH was all for the idea. I told DH I really wanted to get home that night (which I did) but told him on our way home that I really didn't want to stay over at a house that was that messy (there was an animal cage kept in the windowless bathroom; the bathroom air was thick with the smells of the uncleaned cage -- it was a bit like visiting the cage enclosures at the zoo). Their living room was also piled high with papers and books, including on the couch. With four able-bodied homeschooled children ages 9-17 at the time and a SAHM, I didn't understand why they didn't get their house more in order for our scheduled visit. DH understood my feelings, which baffled me even more that he'd even entertain the idea of staying. I didn't want to lay my head on a surface that I was unsure of as far as cleanliness. I didn't want to visit their home again after that -- it was a little far to make a day trip to see them, and I definitely was not going to spend the night there.
For our own guests -- well, we've only had overnight guests, together, once, and that was my family. We had rooms, beds, clean bedding, fresh towels, food and beverages for everyone. We also had a freshly-cleaned bathroom. I'm really not keen on just anyone being our guests because I feel that people who can't be bothered to keep their own house in order (at least for guests to visit) are going to do a poor job of keeping up after themselves when staying at someone else's house (a major concern of mine if DH lets Friend and family stay at our house). However, there was a bad host moment when DH, not thinking about what he was doing, decided that burning a lot of junk mail, instead of wood, was a great idea. DH generated a great deal of ash in the air and heard everyone coughing (being too polite to ask that the fire be put out). DH later said (to me) he had always felt bad about it, and I never understood why he just didn't put out his stupid junk-mail fire (I didn't know about everyone coughing). In any case, I'm sure it'll never happen again (because I'll be watching out for that).