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Author Topic: "What can I bring to your party"  (Read 3649 times)

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gellchom

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Re: "What can I bring to your party"
« Reply #30 on: January 30, 2018, 03:15:53 PM »
I agree the author is coming from a regional perspective and her comment was meant as a joke.

Her bio states she grew up in the Mississippi Delta and is pretty focused on commenting about their customs. Many in the South pride themselves on the laid back entertaining style and formal entertaining isn't as common as informal occasions. And it's pretty much expected that you'll offer to bring something to an informal event... and if they know to offer for informal they also know that for more formal invitations, you don't offer. But of course there are some grey area when you may not know the formality of the event. In those cases, you do a more formal ask.

Invitation 1:
Friend texts "We are planning to bbq ribs on Sunday. You guys want to come over"
Response: "Yes, what can I bring"
BFF texts "An appetizer"

Invitation 2
Newish acquaintance calls and says "DH and I are having a few friends over for dinner Saturday. Can you guys join us?"
Response: "We'd love to. May I bring anything?"
Response would be either "Oh, if you'd like I haven't planned a dessert yet" or "Oh, thanks, but I've got the menu set."

Invitation 3
Paper invitation from friend "Please join us on Saturday the 10th as we celebrate the engagement of our daughter, Diane and her fiance, Christopher."
Response is a call or email to RSVP - of course you don't offer to bring anything, you just show up with a hostess gift or a bottle of wine.

And no, you never show up with food that you have not been asked to bring... unless it's a funeral...

I don't know whether it's region or community, but this is exactly how it's done here.
 
I've never had anyone show up with a dish to be served as part of the meal unless it's discussed first.  At most some nibbles, sweets, or wine that might be put out if the hosts choose to but could just as easily be treated as a hostess gift to be enjoyed another time.

figee

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  • Posts: 607
Re: "What can I bring to your party"
« Reply #31 on: January 30, 2018, 06:50:07 PM »
As above.  I would find it bizarre (as would all of my friends and family) to be expected to bring along a substantial part of a meal.  However, last week we did a street BBQ, and I offered to bring desert which was accepted.  For other occasions, I would expect (and would myself bring) something small as a token, so a bottle of wine, chocolates, flowers.  I would certainly not expect it to be opened, although if it matched the dinner, I certainly have opened brought wine.

Twik

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Re: "What can I bring to your party"
« Reply #32 on: February 06, 2018, 02:18:51 PM »
...

Invitation 3
Paper invitation from friend "Please join us on Saturday the 10th as we celebrate the engagement of our daughter, Diane and her fiance, Christopher."
Response is a call or email to RSVP - of course you don't offer to bring anything, you just show up with a hostess gift or a bottle of wine.

And no, you never show up with food that you have not been asked to bring... unless it's a funeral...

I'm just laughing thinking of someone receiving an invitation to the upcoming royal wedding, and asking "What shall I bring?"
"The sky's the limit. Your sky. Your limit. Now, let's dance!"

Runningstar

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  • Posts: 863
Re: "What can I bring to your party"
« Reply #33 on: February 06, 2018, 07:48:09 PM »

I'm just laughing thinking of someone receiving an invitation to the upcoming royal wedding, and asking "What shall I bring?"

Ha! I'd gladly bring the potato salad if I could get to go to that! 

gellchom

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  • Posts: 3800
Re: "What can I bring to your party"
« Reply #34 on: February 06, 2018, 10:35:21 PM »

I'm just laughing thinking of someone receiving an invitation to the upcoming royal wedding, and asking "What shall I bring?"

Ha! I'd gladly bring the potato salad if I could get to go to that!

Rice Krispie Treats. 

HannahGrace

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  • Posts: 1333
Re: "What can I bring to your party"
« Reply #35 on: February 06, 2018, 10:41:56 PM »
I agree the author is coming from a regional perspective and her comment was meant as a joke.

Her bio states she grew up in the Mississippi Delta and is pretty focused on commenting about their customs. Many in the South pride themselves on the laid back entertaining style and formal entertaining isn't as common as informal occasions. And it's pretty much expected that you'll offer to bring something to an informal event... and if they know to offer for informal they also know that for more formal invitations, you don't offer. But of course there are some grey area when you may not know the formality of the event. In those cases, you do a more formal ask.

Invitation 1:
Friend texts "We are planning to bbq ribs on Sunday. You guys want to come over"
Response: "Yes, what can I bring"
BFF texts "An appetizer"

Invitation 2
Newish acquaintance calls and says "DH and I are having a few friends over for dinner Saturday. Can you guys join us?"
Response: "We'd love to. May I bring anything?"
Response would be either "Oh, if you'd like I haven't planned a dessert yet" or "Oh, thanks, but I've got the menu set."

Invitation 3
Paper invitation from friend "Please join us on Saturday the 10th as we celebrate the engagement of our daughter, Diane and her fiance, Christopher."
Response is a call or email to RSVP - of course you don't offer to bring anything, you just show up with a hostess gift or a bottle of wine.

And no, you never show up with food that you have not been asked to bring... unless it's a funeral...

These three versions capture the vast majority of events I attend. Most fall into 1 or 2 (big events are catered and I donít offer food because it would seem rude.)

The Super Bowl party I went to Sunday was almost verbatim #2. We went by instinct and brought some beer and wine and made simple but tasty and unobtrusive brownies. Another guest made a funny cake (superb owl!) and the desserts were happily served and enjoyed. I think it is about knowing / perceiving the audience and the hosts.

RevMaxx

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Re: "What can I bring to your party"
« Reply #36 on: February 07, 2018, 10:35:12 PM »
When asked for years I say

"just bring your a ppetite!
What sign was I born under you ask? Under the sign, "No Parking".