Wedding Bliss and Blues > Par-Tay!

One shower per guest?

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Seven Ate Nine:

--- Quote from: MurPl1 on March 23, 2014, 12:41:16 PM ---
--- Quote from: purple on February 03, 2014, 07:36:42 PM ---IMO, 3 showers for the same bride is ridiculous!
Never mind the 'one shower per guest rule', to me the rule is 'one shower per bride'!

--- End quote ---

Personally I'd rather see 3 small showers as described by the OP, than one giant extravaganza with 50-60 people.

--- End quote ---

We threw a giant extravaganza for my sister's wedding shower.  The day itself went smoothly, but there was a lot of resentment and hurt feelings when one side promised to help and then didn't do so.  We decided that when the time comes for a baby shower we'll throw one for our side, and BIL's side can do their own thing.  Plus a shower of 80 people is really just kind of insane.

Why do I keep "reading" this as someone asking why one of her houseguests for the weekend is taking several showers a day?

I do agree if someone offers to help & then doesn't - that they get off the list of co-hosts for any future showers or other parties that might be set up for the same guest of honor!

I also agree with having several smaller showers, especially for different groups - a bride's family shower, possibly a groom's family shower, a work shower (if they want to have one for the bride, a mother to be, or whoever), a church group, or other social circles that don't overlap except at the person being honored by the shower itself. 

That would be easier for a mother to be, as well.  As to how well it works for everyone - well, there are people who LIKE huge parties and there are people who would have trouble adding more than one to three extra events to their it might be necessary to combine a few events, based on how the social circles overlap... on an individual basis!


--- Quote from: LawGeek on March 31, 2014, 11:18:58 PM ---I'm the Matron of Honor for a wedding next year, and I think we'll need to have at least three showers.  Both the bride and groom are in the military, and come from different countries.  I suspect that a shower in his home country for his female relatives, a shower in her hometown, and a shower near her current base would cover it.  It would be very difficult to expect people at one location to travel to the others, as none of theses spots are less than 1,000 miles from each other.

I don't think this is ridiculous.

--- End quote ---

But it also sounds like it would be a 0% chance of overlap in the guests. In fact, unless a number of the guests from different showers are connected through social networks, there would probably be a 0% chance of any of the guests even knowing that there will be multiple showers.

Do you think there will be multiple receptions? I've been to receptions where the bride and groom were previously married in another state and came back and were thrown a reception for those out-of-state that couldn't attend. There was no shower thrown for her before the wedding, AFAIK.

The etiquette I'm familiar with is that if one is not invited as a guest to a wedding/reception, then one is generally not invited to a/the shower. However, there are some circumstances where a coworker may have a strong desire to have a little something for a soon-to-be-married coworker despite not expecting to be invited to the wedding. But there is a fine line in that circumstance because other coworkers shouldn't feel pressured to participate.

But in the circumstances as you have outlined in your post I would think that if the multiple showers are appropriate so, too, would multiple, small receptions hosted by the HC or the HC's parents would be very nice.


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