Wedding Bliss and Blues > Par-Tay!

One shower per guest?

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I feel you're generally correct, that there should be little to no overlap in the guest lists of the showers. I think an exception is often made in the case of very close relatives, like parents/siblings; and for a wedding, I've noticed that the bridal party is usually invited to all the showers.

With my friend Amy, I was invited to both of her wedding showers, and both of her baby showers (same baby). For both the only overlap I remember was immediate family and me (and the bridal party for the wedding showers), so I took it as a compliment, that she considered me nearly family. :) For the wedding showers, I got her a "regular" gift for the first one, and for the second, I didn't get her a gift but rather wrote her a nice note inside a card. One of the bridesmaids, who had also been invited to both showers, was kind of anxious/resentful about having to give a gift at both, and wouldn't believe me when I said she didn't need to, or could go with a much smaller gift the second time.

So I think the guest could attend one shower and decline the others; give a gift at the first one and attend the others empty-handed or with a token gift; or split their gift budget equally between all the showers.

I think lingerie showers are a know-your-audience thing. Not the right audience? The one my cousin had with all her female relatives, including her underage cousins.  :o Not that it was terribly racy or anything, in fact I think that was the problem--no one wanted to get racy in front of Grandma and little Lynnie, so it was a rather dull affair of watching my cousin open up a lot of bottles of massage oil. I was thinking, "Gosh, that nightie looks cold," and "I didn't realize she liked massages so much."

IMO, 3 showers for the same bride is ridiculous!
Never mind the 'one shower per guest rule', to me the rule is 'one shower per bride'!

shhh its me:
 POD she can go to one or go to all three and give either a card only or a token gift at the other two.

MY personal rule re lingerie....... if i had an accident while wearing it will my first thought before, "take me to the hospital ", be "let me change first , no really put the phone down don't call 911 till I change" then I prefer to make that purchase myself.  There are plenty of things called lingerie/available from a lingerie store that I would wear to the hospital.    IT really is know your audience.

Lady Snowdon:
I had three showers - one with DH's family, one with my family, and one with some friends.  The shower with my family consisted of my mom and I meeting my two aunts for lunch at a restaurant, and they gave me some small gifts and cards.  The one with my friends was a "blue elephant" gift, which was like a white elephant gifting, except it should be blue, since that's my favorite color.  I got notebooks, some pens/pencils, dice, all sorts of random stuff.  It was actually very awesome, because it was so random and off the wall.  The one with DH's family was the most "traditional" shower, and I found it not fun at all.  I was the center of attention while opening presents, but the rest of it was done with regard to what other people liked/wanted and not what I would have wanted.  So I was very uncomfortable because I couldn't eat the food, only had water to drink (because apparently I was the first person over 21 the hostess had ever encountered who didn't drink alcohol), and didn't know how to play the shower games that everyone else knew. 

That being said, all of my showers were with very different groups of people, who would never have been invited to my other showers (my mom and aunts live in a different state!), so I didn't feel that having so many showers was a terrible faux pas. 

Three showers for the same set of guests is pretty terrible though.  I agree with the "accept one, decline two" idea, if she wants to go at all. 

I had to laugh at the lingerie shower idea.  When we got married, we had a big family shower hosted by DH's family.  It was well known that the gifts at these family showers were nothing racier than a bath towel.  It was also well known that the groom was a GOH as well as the bride and that the rest of the groomsmen were to show up at the end of the shower to help pack up and transport the gifts.

Cue DH's best friend's grandmother who was SHOCKED that her grandson was to attend a shower....what if *gasp* there was lingerie????? I gently told her that no lingerie would be gifted and her grandson's (a man who was 33 years old at the time) virgin eyes would be unsullied.   ;D


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