Picturing the 55+ (but in reality much older on the average, as I'm guessing this gang is) condo Florida community where my mother-in-law lives, I can see how getting out of the house entirely would be the way to go. The floor plans are so open, the only thing she could do would be to go in the bedroom, and she wouldn't be able to get to the kitchen or garage without walking right through the card game or whatever. Plus if the guys like to be loud and swear or have bull session conversations, they would feel inhibited by a lady on the other side of the thin wall. If I lived in her condo, I'd WANT to leave in this situation instead of staying in the bedroom all night. So depending on the "geography" issues in the units in this community, and especially if there are enough members that they only infrequently meet at each person's house, I can see "empty house" being a reasonable rule, albeit one that might make some people decline to join, and I do agree that the spouse should agree before joining.
Even if it isn't just the LW, which I think it well may be, maybe some of these wives choose to clean up because they don't trust their husbands to do a good job and don't want the guys to see a dirty or messy house. And as for cooking, maybe they think it's easier to fix snacks than to have an inexperienced husband make a mess, or maybe they hate to give up control of their kitchens. I wouldn't clean up (actually my husband has done that for me), but I might fix snacks if I like the people or have something I'm trying to clear out of the house.
All in all, I agree that she is trying to blame the organizer when what it sounds like is really bothering her is that her husband spends so much time with this club at all. She's not unreasonable not to like that, but she should, in my opinion, just be honest about what is really bothering her instead of trying to make it seem like a sexist issue.
I mean, would she be happier if this exclusive club included women?