No one gets to tell me that I have to leave my own home. Period. If they are that worried about preserving their secrets then they should find a venue that does not displace nonmembers from their own homes.
This sounds to me like the Little Rascals all grown up...the adult version of the "He Man Woman Haters Club."
They do have a venue that works -- members' homes who've agreed to it. If you don't like it, then you don't join. It's pretty simple.
I agree with this. While my DH can't banish me from my home I am willing to accommodate a request.
-My sister belonged to an early menopause support group that met monthly in group member's home. Rule was that only group members should be in the home during the meeting.
-A good friend belongs to a women's bible study group. Rule is that no kids or non-group members are in the home during the meetings as they discuss very personal issues that they want to remain within the group.
-I used to belong to a neighborhood/PTA women's informal social group. We had get togethers about 6 to 8 times a year. Whoever was hosting knew that it was best to have all kids and spouses out of the house during these events. I'm not sure if the rule was ever spoken, but in more than 20 events I attended, no child or spouse was seen unless you arrived early as they were leaving were still there when they returned home.
-My dad belonged to a hunting lodge that was "no kids/no wives" for more than 20 years. Twice a year, the families were invited to come out for a big bbq or fish fry. It never seemed odd to me. My mom belonged to a garden club and we all vacated the house when she was hosting.
To me the only rude person is the wife who, as a non-member, is trying to change the rules agreed to by the members. Her only skin in the game is whether she is willing to support her DH in being a member. If she doesn't then she needs to address it with him. Not try to force her views on others.