There is a club that says its members must wear red dresses and purple hats. But it is rude to tell people how to dress, so the club is rude? No. The members accepted that rule. Since it only affects the club member, it is up to them (except if there is budget concerns over the price of the dress and hat).
Nope, it's more like the rule that is that the member's spouses must wear red dresses and purple hats.
I disagree. Because I do not believe that the club's rules are that the wives must cook and clean. I just don't.
I think the letter writer is drawing that conclusion herself. The structure and word choice of her letter make me think so.
And I have a hard time thinking that it would even OCCUR to any club organizer, let alone that the entire group of guys would say OK. They might say OK to the idea of being able to hang out in a female-free zone, but I just do not believe that the clubs rule is: "Your wife has to cook and clean to prepare the party space for us."
POD. It's actually ridiculous because the rule would be unenforceable. Is someone from the group going to go over to this week's host's house and oversee the wife doing the work in order to make sure it happens according to club rules? Of course not.
I agree that the wording of the letter makes it sound like in the LW's household
the wife is responsible for cleaning and cooking so that when this club comes over, her husband
expects her to cook, or in the actual words of the letter, "prepare(s) everything".
It's feasible and not all that shocking that the club rule is "no women allowed" (regardless of the wording used) but it just seems silly that there are any rules about who has to do the "preparing" for the meeting.