So I've gotten my response and I don't know how to respond. "T" is the fiance and "C" is my husband, my husband likes "T" but considers him more an acquaintance.
"E": "The wedding is August 16th, "T" wanted "C" to be a groomsmen.. I think all I wanted you guys to do is stand up there with us for the ceremony and for pics. Oh and have you bring all the gifts to our place.."
By August 16th I'll be one month postpartum and no idea what size I'll be, and I plan on nursing. My husband will not have any vacation time to take for the wedding. It is on a Saturday but he's and Assistant Carrier with post office and works Saturdays (sometimes until 9PM). His one year anniversary is June 1st which starts the clock over on his vacation days. In his position you "use" or "lose them" when your anniversary comes up. So it will be tricky enough having him available for our move in July, and then home with me later that month when the baby is born. Plus because my husband had a hospitalization last July, his back injury in November, and taking time off last week when I had my surgery he's on notice about attendance. So him missing work is a huge deal for us. He's working hard to become what they call a "Career Carrier" which has higher pay and they typically work 5 instead of 6 days a week.
And I just can't figure out what we'll do with the baby and our 4 year old daughter if we are both in the wedding. We don't have family in-state to drop them off with. When I had my surgery last week we had to find a church member to watch our daughter. I can say we did agree to help transport gifts back to their apartment. That was talked about last summer/fall time frame before she had her temper tantrum and when she had no official wedding date.
We haven't gotten together with them since, and I've spoken to her maybe 4 times since December. I feel like she is trying to make me feel bad and do what she wants me to do. I'm not her only friend and hardly think I'm her closest friend. I just don't know what to say, I don't think this wedding will be possible for us. I really can't afford a move, baby items, a bridesmaid dress, and tux rental. It's just not going to work, what do I tell her?