Etiquette School is in session! > Complete Silence

Health Advice When You're Pregnant, Everyone Has Some

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Oh the things we reveal on social media, and this one's on me.  This is harmless, I found it annoying at the time, but find it amusing now.  About 2 weeks ago I had a terrible migraine and I'm pregnant.  So I can't take "good stuff" to knock it out.  I took some Tylenol and had a little caffeine hoping that would kick it.  I put up my status on Facebook about my migraine and said that I hoped the Tylenol and caffeine would help.  (side note: why do we sometimes feel compelled to put up statuses that others don't necessarily care about, me included?)  Anyway, my husband's second cousin responds that caffeine is not good for the baby.  I didn't respond, I just did a complete silence thing.  It was annoying at the time because my Doctor and I have discussed caffeine and small amounts are ok.  I find it funny now because I put myself there personally and should expect someone would say something, and this cousin was well-meaning.  Subsequently the next night I ended up in the ER for 5 hours being treated for the migraine, but it finally went away.  I'm almost 17 weeks now and the baby is doing great.

One of my sisters is a doctor, we decided early on as a couple to not give out too much detail.

My husband was worse about sharing then I was.  I found out I was pregnant very early in the pregnancy.  Well he went on his Facebook and announced right away.  I didn't even realize until I told him a little while later that same evening that I think we should wait until I was farther along.  I guess we're in the habit of sharing certain things on their since 99% of close family and friends live out of state.  Oh well, we've made it to the the second trimester.  I don't recall him doing that when we were pregnant with our daughter but oh well, I guess he was excited.

I've not put anything on fb about my pregnancy, and most people I work with are very much "live and let live", however I have one young male coworker who thinks he knows everything. He constantly comments on my foods,my drinks and my choices. I look at him and tell him my dr says its fine (we do have to work together, otherwise I'd say things a bit more strongly and would be rude myself and call him a puppy and a baby himself lol)

Thankfully the biggest thing people are asking me about is will I be cloth diapering. I did want to but got resistance from both grandmothers who will be helping out. So as I know I'll have bigger battles later( suger and snacks ) I let this one go.

btw, I'm still drinking a coffee a day - my drs and I decided it was fine, and the caffeine with drawl headaches, combined with my tendency towards migraines, it just wasnt worth it to quit. Not to mention that the morning coffee actually helped with the morning sickness

Good luck with your pregnancy!!

I've had 3 kids.  The endless advice, which ran the gamut from excellent to 'you-have-GOT-to-be-kidding-me!' stupid, was bad enough.  For me personally, the worst was the horror stories that people shared with me (in the sisterhood of being pregnant?)...  I got blindsided a few times the first pregnancy.  I got a LOT more proactive with the 2nd and 3rd pregnancies - I flatly shut people down when they tried to tell me anything amazing/horror/not positive about their pregnancies or deliveries. 

Being pregnant was frightening - I'm growing a human here, and I don't KNOW how it's going.  I'm on the outside, hoping like hell it's all good.  Telling me 'war stories' just scared me more, which I did not need.  I had to get very blunt with people who insisted I'd find it funny, or had something I needed to hear.  I did the fingers in the ears "La la la LA LA LA LA - I can't HEAR YOU!" dance, and told people "Do NOT tell me, I DON'T want to hear it!" until they gave up and shut up.

Shared war stories after the fact are one thing.  Shared war stories when you're still in the stage of 'it could still all go down the tubes' is another.  And the bad advice and old wives tales are astonishing in their ignorance, and do nobody any good.


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