Author Topic: Health Advice When You're Pregnant, Everyone Has Some  (Read 10396 times)

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Sakuko

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Re: Health Advice When You're Pregnant, Everyone Has Some
« Reply #75 on: June 12, 2014, 04:54:06 AM »
I've heard that a lot too, but the time baby sleeps is also the only time I have for alone time or couple time for a few month. I certainly didn't use it for sleeping much. I got used to 3-4 hours of sleep pretty quickly.

ladyknight1

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Re: Health Advice When You're Pregnant, Everyone Has Some
« Reply #76 on: June 12, 2014, 04:29:32 PM »
I have many pregnant friends at the moment, and my only advice has been to buy lots of diapers and to have enough clothes/blankets/etc to last you three days, since that is what always happened with DS and my youngest sister.

One of my friends is getting so much pressure from her family to find out the gender of the baby. I'm encouraging her to not give in.

Ceallach

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Re: Health Advice When You're Pregnant, Everyone Has Some
« Reply #77 on: June 12, 2014, 09:53:37 PM »
I have many pregnant friends at the moment, and my only advice has been to buy lots of diapers and to have enough clothes/blankets/etc to last you three days, since that is what always happened with DS and my youngest sister.

One of my friends is getting so much pressure from her family to find out the gender of the baby. I'm encouraging her to not give in.

We didn't buy any newborn nappies (diapers).  Got given two boxes and had to go through the inconvenience of trying to exchange one early on because baby grew so fast.   

My DH always wonders aloud why people rush around buying things before having a baby, he says "Do they think the shops aren't going to be there once the baby arrives?"  we had the basics ready (and I refolded those cute little onesies once a week  ;) ) but most things we just bought as we needed them.  Got a stroller/pram when bubs was 6 weeks old, until then just carried him.   

I'm not saying that it's bad to be prepared but it does surprise me the panic people seem to be in sometimes to have *everything* ready.   
"Nobody can do everything, but everybody can do something"


CakeEater

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Re: Health Advice When You're Pregnant, Everyone Has Some
« Reply #78 on: June 12, 2014, 10:07:42 PM »
I have many pregnant friends at the moment, and my only advice has been to buy lots of diapers and to have enough clothes/blankets/etc to last you three days, since that is what always happened with DS and my youngest sister.

One of my friends is getting so much pressure from her family to find out the gender of the baby. I'm encouraging her to not give in.

We didn't buy any newborn nappies (diapers).  Got given two boxes and had to go through the inconvenience of trying to exchange one early on because baby grew so fast.   

My DH always wonders aloud why people rush around buying things before having a baby, he says "Do they think the shops aren't going to be there once the baby arrives?"  we had the basics ready (and I refolded those cute little onesies once a week  ;) ) but most things we just bought as we needed them.  Got a stroller/pram when bubs was 6 weeks old, until then just carried him.   

I'm not saying that it's bad to be prepared but it does surprise me the panic people seem to be in sometimes to have *everything* ready.   

Because many people are in no fit state to go stroller shopping within 6 weeks of having a baby. I had the most awful 6 weeks of my life post delivery of my first. Really awful. Nothing worked: not feeding, not sleeping, nothing. The autism was probably the cause, we now realise, but I certainly didn't know that at the time. Combined with the difficult birth,  I was absolutely not able to go baby clothes or stroller shopping for a good 2 months.

Other people with easier babies might be recovering for emergency caesareans or emergency surgeries, or bub has some kind of immune issues, and can't be out and about much. You just never know what can go wrong, and might mean you're not in any position to be at the shops a lot with a newborn, especially if you have a toddler trailing around with you as well.

I had a textbook pregnancy, and had no idea that the whole newborn thing would be so hideous for me.

Ceallach

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Re: Health Advice When You're Pregnant, Everyone Has Some
« Reply #79 on: June 12, 2014, 10:30:17 PM »
I have many pregnant friends at the moment, and my only advice has been to buy lots of diapers and to have enough clothes/blankets/etc to last you three days, since that is what always happened with DS and my youngest sister.

One of my friends is getting so much pressure from her family to find out the gender of the baby. I'm encouraging her to not give in.

We didn't buy any newborn nappies (diapers).  Got given two boxes and had to go through the inconvenience of trying to exchange one early on because baby grew so fast.   

My DH always wonders aloud why people rush around buying things before having a baby, he says "Do they think the shops aren't going to be there once the baby arrives?"  we had the basics ready (and I refolded those cute little onesies once a week  ;) ) but most things we just bought as we needed them.  Got a stroller/pram when bubs was 6 weeks old, until then just carried him.   

I'm not saying that it's bad to be prepared but it does surprise me the panic people seem to be in sometimes to have *everything* ready.   

Because many people are in no fit state to go stroller shopping within 6 weeks of having a baby. I had the most awful 6 weeks of my life post delivery of my first. Really awful. Nothing worked: not feeding, not sleeping, nothing. The autism was probably the cause, we now realise, but I certainly didn't know that at the time. Combined with the difficult birth,  I was absolutely not able to go baby clothes or stroller shopping for a good 2 months.

Other people with easier babies might be recovering for emergency caesareans or emergency surgeries, or bub has some kind of immune issues, and can't be out and about much. You just never know what can go wrong, and might mean you're not in any position to be at the shops a lot with a newborn, especially if you have a toddler trailing around with you as well.

I had a textbook pregnancy, and had no idea that the whole newborn thing would be so hideous for me.

Like I said, not saying it's bad to be prepared, but many people do seem to think that they must have every single baby item invented on hand just in case.   DH popped out to the baby shop quite a few times in the first week or so to pick things up that we decided we did need (first one was a thermometer - temperature here when we brought bubs home was 40 celcius and we were worried bubs was overheating).   Obviously it would have been fine to buy these items in advance too, but there were just as many items that we ended up *never* buying or needing.   In our case we were close to the shops so just as handy to wait and see what our baby did need.

I'm not saying people are wrong to be prepared - and I considered myself very well prepared -  just that the effective marketing of baby products tries to convince us we must have every little item on hand ready to go, when in reality newborns don't use a lot!
"Nobody can do everything, but everybody can do something"


CakeEater

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Re: Health Advice When You're Pregnant, Everyone Has Some
« Reply #80 on: June 12, 2014, 11:59:06 PM »
Depends on the newborn, which you don't know about until after it's arrived.

I actually wished I had been more prepared, and I felt pretty prepared as well. Babies don't always let you know that they will be needing something when the shops are open either.

Bottle-feeding gear, for example, that we discovered that we needed and had none of, and had to race to the pharmacy before closing time to get appropriate bottles after we had been home with the baby for half an hour. By that stage, she was pretty screaming hungry. My homecoming would have been much easier if I'd had just one newborn bottle on hand even though I hadn't thought I'd need it.

Same with dummies - although I did actually have one of those that I'd been given and was determined not to use. That thing saved my life at 2am one night - thank goodness someone with some experience gave me one that I had there ready for the time when I couldn't get to the shops.

Some people are just less able to duck off to the shops with a newborn around to get what they need either because the baby needs more, the shops are less accessible, or they don't have a partner around to do the shopping for them.


Ceallach

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Re: Health Advice When You're Pregnant, Everyone Has Some
« Reply #81 on: June 13, 2014, 12:09:13 AM »
Depends on the newborn, which you don't know about until after it's arrived.

I actually wished I had been more prepared, and I felt pretty prepared as well. Babies don't always let you know that they will be needing something when the shops are open either.

Bottle-feeding gear, for example, that we discovered that we needed and had none of, and had to race to the pharmacy before closing time to get appropriate bottles after we had been home with the baby for half an hour. By that stage, she was pretty screaming hungry. My homecoming would have been much easier if I'd had just one newborn bottle on hand even though I hadn't thought I'd need it.

Same with dummies - although I did actually have one of those that I'd been given and was determined not to use. That thing saved my life at 2am one night - thank goodness someone with some experience gave me one that I had there ready for the time when I couldn't get to the shops.

Some people are just less able to duck off to the shops with a newborn around to get what they need either because the baby needs more, the shops are less accessible, or they don't have a partner around to do the shopping for them.

Yes, I realise all of those things.   I'm sorry if I offended you, again let me reiterate I am not suggesting there is anything wrong with being prepared for having a baby or making purchases in advance.  I made many myself. 
"Nobody can do everything, but everybody can do something"


Lynn2000

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Re: Health Advice When You're Pregnant, Everyone Has Some
« Reply #82 on: June 13, 2014, 10:44:34 AM »
Another thing I've noticed is that some people are planners, and particular about the kinds of things they want. I can't imagine my friend Amy sending her DH Adam off to the shop by himself to get something for the baby, for example. She would never have said, "Just go get a pacifier," because she'd have quite exact specifications in mind and might have to see the selection for herself. And, even if for some reason she didn't much care, Adam would never have felt comfortable going off to choose by himself. He'd be more likely to come home with six different things, then run the ones she didn't want back to the store. To him they would all look alike.

On the other hand, I have heard about over-planning--the newborn-size clothes, for example, which the baby might grow out of quickly (or never really fit). And apparently different brands of diapers fit different body types, and you don't know what you're going to get until the baby's born, so if you've stocked up on Huggies, you may find that they don't actually work for your child. I've heard that a good baby shower gift is a "sampler pack" of diapers from different brands--like the smallest package of each brand you can find, so the parents can try them out once they have the baby.
~Lynn2000

Carotte

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Re: Health Advice When You're Pregnant, Everyone Has Some
« Reply #83 on: June 13, 2014, 11:16:28 AM »
I know a couple who took advantage of a groupon kind of thing (I guess) and bought pretty much all the diapers in advance, I don't know how they figured how much of each size they were going to need or if it worked, it did sound a bit risky.
From what I've seen of the kiddo (adorable  :P) he seems to be on an average growth so they probably got lucky  :)

And I know someone who works in a natal clinic (is that the name? clinic just for pregnancies and delivery) and most of the times parents who had been adamant would not use a pacifier ask were they can find one the day after, you just never know with those things!

ladyknight1

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Re: Health Advice When You're Pregnant, Everyone Has Some
« Reply #84 on: June 13, 2014, 01:22:56 PM »
Yes, my DS could not use Pampers brand, just Huggies. He wore newborn clothes for one week, before moving to 3-6 months.

I have two friends and coworkers who are expecting right now, one wants to have cloth diapers and one wants to use disposables. Both moms to be are tiny and petite, and their husbands are slim. Even so, we aren't planning to buy newborn diapers for the work showers for them. I have already bought an assortment of diaper covers for the cloth diapers mom and a pack of various sizes for the other mom.


Katana_Geldar

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Re: Health Advice When You're Pregnant, Everyone Has Some
« Reply #85 on: June 15, 2014, 06:42:40 PM »
We have quite a few newborn thugs but my Mum had the foresight to make us stuff without feet as both DH and I are tall, and our last scan confirmed his legs are in 90th percentile!  ;D

We have stuff, but not too much. I want to rest it out first and see if we like it or not.

Lynn2000

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Re: Health Advice When You're Pregnant, Everyone Has Some
« Reply #86 on: June 16, 2014, 04:06:48 PM »
We have quite a few newborn thugs but my Mum had the foresight to make us stuff without feet as both DH and I are tall, and our last scan confirmed his legs are in 90th percentile!  ;D

We have stuff, but not too much. I want to rest it out first and see if we like it or not.

Sorry, this typo struck me as funny yet so appropriate.  ;D They are kind of little thugs at first, aren't they? Always demanding stuff, never doing what they're told...
~Lynn2000

cutejellybeen

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Re: Health Advice When You're Pregnant, Everyone Has Some
« Reply #87 on: June 22, 2014, 04:00:25 PM »
We have quite a few newborn thugs but my Mum had the foresight to make us stuff without feet as both DH and I are tall, and our last scan confirmed his legs are in 90th percentile!  ;D

We have stuff, but not too much. I want to rest it out first and see if we like it or not.

Sorry, this typo struck me as funny yet so appropriate.  ;D They are kind of little thugs at first, aren't they? Always demanding stuff, never doing what they're told...

I like to call my newborn our little dictator lol



mmswm

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Re: Health Advice When You're Pregnant, Everyone Has Some
« Reply #88 on: June 22, 2014, 05:10:32 PM »
I have an un-bendable rule about never telling my pregnancy stories to first time mothers.  My pregnancies weren't normal and would just serve to scare women, so there's no benefit.  If, however, a pregnant woman is experiencing complications, I won't hesitate to recommend she look into a particular (and awesome) support group.  That tends to be the extent of my "advise", unless I'm asked specifically.  Even if I'm asked specifically, I tend to go with the "maybe that's something you want to bring up with your doctor/midwife" type stuff, since I'm not a medical professional.

And the whole second guessing parenting decisions never ends.  My oldest is 15, and I just recently had an issue with him (age-appropriate behavior, but still needed to be dealt with), and I had quite a few people criticize  me for not flipping out.  Ummm, he's my kid.  I get to decide what the best way to handle him is, thank you very much!
Some people lift weights.  I lift measures.  It's a far more esoteric workout. - (Quoted from a personal friend)

Ceallach

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Re: Health Advice When You're Pregnant, Everyone Has Some
« Reply #89 on: June 22, 2014, 08:20:58 PM »
Yesterday DH, DS and I were shopping and were in an elevator along with a lady and her young son.   The boys interacted a little bit (smiling at each other) as the elevator descended.  As we got off the lady initiated the following conversation with me:

Stranger:      Oh he's so sweet! Good luck with your pregnancy!  How old is he and what gap will you have?
Me:               16 months, will be 19/20 months when this one is born
Stranger:      Oh I had a 24 month gap.  But stop after this one, I had a third one again straight away.  Take a break after number two!  You don't have to stop but definitely take a break!
Me:               <Some kind of polite non-commital response as we headed off on our way.>

The thing is, this type of incident is so common that it doesn't even occur to me to mention them on eHell most of the time.  I thought of it because of this thread.   So despite the fact that technically it's probably an etiquette breach, it's such frequent behaviour that I kind of just ignore it and move on!  Crazy really when you think about it.   I could probably post a couple of times per week - at least - about unsolicited parenting advice, family planning advice, or pregnancy advice that I receive whilst going about my daily life. 
"Nobody can do everything, but everybody can do something"