Health Advice When You're Pregnant, Everyone Has Some

[MommyPenguin]

So, Alli, you're pregnant! Lemme think of some diet advice  ... Nope. Got nuthin'. OK, howzabout a horror story or thirteen...  ... Nope. Got nuthin'.

Congratulations! 

Oh my lord!  You have me laughing really hard!  And thank you because I'm in the middle of dealing with a SS and needed that.  Some fun news though the nurse who did a specialized ultrasound today (I'm only at 17 weeks) is in her words "99.9% sure it's a boy".  My 4 year old daughter is disappointed but perked up when I told her we could buy him dinosaur pajamas.

And thank you for the congrats 

When I was pregnant with my first, the ultrasound guy told us it was a girl.  We asked, "How sure are you?" knowing that sometimes mistakes could be made.  He said, "Well, let me put it this way.  If it's a boy, I'll pay his way through college."  My husband leaned over to me and said, "Let it be a boy!  Let it be a boy!"

I did find it amusing when I was at work and about 38 weeks pregnant, and a guy came up to me and said, "That's a boy."  Me: "Oh, yeah?"  Him: "Yep.  I had four boys, I know what a woman carrying a boy looks like.  That's a boy, mark my words."  Sure, 'cuz I'll trust your assessment of how low I'm carrying over, you know, an ultrasound tech who can actually identify male/female body parts.  (It was a girl.)

My 3-year-old (girl) has dinosaur pajamas.  They glow in the dark.  I highly recommend glow-in-the-dark dinosaur pajamas for all toddlers of any sex, because, hey, they're awesome.

And congrats. 

[Alli8098]

So, Alli, you're pregnant! Lemme think of some diet advice  ... Nope. Got nuthin'. OK, howzabout a horror story or thirteen...  ... Nope. Got nuthin'.

Congratulations! 

Oh my lord!  You have me laughing really hard!  And thank you because I'm in the middle of dealing with a SS and needed that.  Some fun news though the nurse who did a specialized ultrasound today (I'm only at 17 weeks) is in her words "99.9% sure it's a boy".  My 4 year old daughter is disappointed but perked up when I told her we could buy him dinosaur pajamas.

And thank you for the congrats 

When I was pregnant with my first, the ultrasound guy told us it was a girl.  We asked, "How sure are you?" knowing that sometimes mistakes could be made.  He said, "Well, let me put it this way.  If it's a boy, I'll pay his way through college."  My husband leaned over to me and said, "Let it be a boy!  Let it be a boy!"

I did find it amusing when I was at work and about 38 weeks pregnant, and a guy came up to me and said, "That's a boy."  Me: "Oh, yeah?"  Him: "Yep.  I had four boys, I know what a woman carrying a boy looks like.  That's a boy, mark my words."  Sure, 'cuz I'll trust your assessment of how low I'm carrying over, you know, an ultrasound tech who can actually identify male/female body parts.  (It was a girl.)

My 3-year-old (girl) has dinosaur pajamas.  They glow in the dark.  I highly recommend glow-in-the-dark dinosaur pajamas for all toddlers of any sex, because, hey, they're awesome.

And congrats. 

My daughter would love those!  Of course I'll laugh if the baby somehow turns out to be a girl.  Back in the 80's an ultrasound showed my mother was having a girl.  So imagine my disappointment when my father came back from the hospital and announced it was a boy.  Oh well, I guess those things keep like interesting. ;-)

[Ceallach]

Oh yeah you have to be sooo carefully with pregnancy things, people are ridiculously judgey.      I honestly don't care what other people choose to put in their bodies, but hypocrisy or constant advice bug me like crazy.   

And it gets even worse once you HAVE the baby!   The most stressful part of having a newborn, for me personally, was actually trying to ignore all of the advice and not second-guess myself all the time.   It would make me really anxious because I was doing what worked for us and for our baby (following his cues) and when they'd give me an idea of how things "should" be I felt I needed to take it into consideration.   So it's good practice now to learn to ignore all of that!   

One pregnancy obsession that annoys me is the people who will spit out a piece of cake if they find out that alcohol was an ingredient... even though the alcohol burns off during the cooking process.   It annoys me because those same people will normally eat products with various additives and chemicals that are equally if not more harmful than one-sixteenth of a teaspoonful of cooking wine baked in a cake!  So it's illogical, yet they'll look at me like I have three heads if I admit that I had a sip of wine while I was pregnant.   (I was in France for the first time, I was having a little taste!!)  And given how intelligent and capable my son is, I don't think it harmed him any.   It's very irritating getting shocked looks from people for the decisions you make.  There are actually very few things that are harmful in pregnancy - a big one is listeria, from deli food etc.   But even some of the other things we are commonly told to avoid aren't a very high risk.  For example, certain foods that are a risk of a specific thing that can cause food poisoning - the risk is no greater than if you weren't pregnant, and it doesn't actually harm the child, just makes the mother miserable.  So if somebody wants to err on the side of caution that's all good, but they also shouldn't be all "Mercy My Jewels!" if others feel differently.   We all have to make our own risk assessments.   For example, I let my 1 year old play in the garden this morning while I took a shower.  I'm not even kidding.  But the shower is right next to the back door, I could hear him and kind of see him and was only in for 30 seconds.  And the yard is fully fenced.    There are certain people I won't tell about that unless I really want to shock them though!   

[Deetee]

I remember sorting in my doctors offices when I was pregnant with my first and rattling off a list of questions.
Is it OK if I ?

Weighlift
Go in a hot tub
Drink coffee
Have a sip of wine
Etc. .

It wasn't that I was concerned about her opinion. I just wanted to be able to say that " I discussed it with my doctor and she said it was just fine" to anyone who wanted to interject their opinion about what I should do with my body and my baby.

[Piratelvr1121]

One of the midwives in the practice I went to kept trying to convince me to bfeed and even tried to make me feel guilty about not choosing it.  It didn't work and just ticked me off so I made sure I didn't have any more appointments with her.  Thankfully she was the only one who got judgy with me about using formula. No one else seemed to care, thankfully.

I had a line I was ready to use if anyone else judged my choices but never really had the opportunity to use it. "This is not my first time at the rodeo." said with a smile, since it was my third child and my older two are happy, well adjusted kids.

[TeraNova15]

One of the midwives in the practice I went to kept trying to convince me to bfeed and even tried to make me feel guilty about not choosing it.  It didn't work and just ticked me off so I made sure I didn't have any more appointments with her.  Thankfully she was the only one who got judgy with me about using formula. No one else seemed to care, thankfully.

Ugh...don't even get me started on the bfeeding advocates. There is a woman in my office who is both certified in teaching the Bradley method (unmedicated chilbirth technique) and a certified lacatation consultant and she's started stopping by my desk at least once a week with a pamphlet on when the next Bradley classes are and sending me emails about the benefits of breastfeeding. Once again...complete silence on my end.

[Minmom3]

Heh.  I help push a car to jump start it when very early pregnant.  Less than 12 weeks pregnant.  My mother had a cow...  So, I called my OB and asked if I had done any damage.  Dr asked if it had hurt to push?  I said no.  Dr said, then you did no damage.  Mom calmed down, but not a lot.  My new mantra became "If it doesn't hurt, it doesn't hurt!" 

[Piratelvr1121]

One of the midwives in the practice I went to kept trying to convince me to bfeed and even tried to make me feel guilty about not choosing it.  It didn't work and just ticked me off so I made sure I didn't have any more appointments with her.  Thankfully she was the only one who got judgy with me about using formula. No one else seemed to care, thankfully.

Ugh...don't even get me started on the bfeeding advocates. There is a woman in my office who is both certified in teaching the Bradley method (unmedicated chilbirth technique) and a certified lacatation consultant and she's started stopping by my desk at least once a week with a pamphlet on when the next Bradley classes are and sending me emails about the benefits of breastfeeding. Once again...complete silence on my end.

Well I tell you, I wish I'd known my bff when my older two were born, as she was the one who encouraged me to do what I felt worked best for myself and my baby and not care what others thought about my choice and she practically ordered me not to feel guilty about it.    

She'd never had any children of her own, just felt a woman shouldn't have to justify the choices she makes with her own body to anyone else, nor feel guilty for them. I think having the confidence in my choice must have shown because even when I popped a bottle in the third pirate's mouth in public no one said a thing to me about it.

[Alli8098]

One of the midwives in the practice I went to kept trying to convince me to bfeed and even tried to make me feel guilty about not choosing it.  It didn't work and just ticked me off so I made sure I didn't have any more appointments with her.  Thankfully she was the only one who got judgy with me about using formula. No one else seemed to care, thankfully.

Ugh...don't even get me started on the bfeeding advocates. There is a woman in my office who is both certified in teaching the Bradley method (unmedicated chilbirth technique) and a certified lacatation consultant and she's started stopping by my desk at least once a week with a pamphlet on when the next Bradley classes are and sending me emails about the benefits of breastfeeding. Once again...complete silence on my end.

Well I tell you, I wish I'd known my bff when my older two were born, as she was the one who encouraged me to do what I felt worked best for myself and my baby and not care what others thought about my choice and she practically ordered me not to feel guilty about it.    

She'd never had any children of her own, just felt a woman shouldn't have to justify the choices she makes with her own body to anyone else, nor feel guilty for them. I think having the confidence in my choice must have shown because even when I popped a bottle in the third pirate's mouth in public no one said a thing to me about it.

I tried to breastfeed but could not produce enough.  It was a nerve-wracking two months before I finally put DD on the bottle.  I had been determined to breastfeed because I wanted to and because she had a milk protein allergy and couldn't have regular formulas.  We had limited funds but somehow we got through 10 months of buying super expensive special formula for her.  By one year of age her digestive system was better developed and we were able to put her on cows milk.  This allergy is genetic in the  family and all the babies outgrow it by one year of age.  I determined to try breastfeeding again with this one and hope for the best. 

And good for you for doing what was "right" for you.

[Elisabunny]

One of the midwives in the practice I went to kept trying to convince me to bfeed and even tried to make me feel guilty about not choosing it.  It didn't work and just ticked me off so I made sure I didn't have any more appointments with her.  Thankfully she was the only one who got judgy with me about using formula. No one else seemed to care, thankfully.

Ugh...don't even get me started on the bfeeding advocates. There is a woman in my office who is both certified in teaching the Bradley method (unmedicated chilbirth technique) and a certified lacatation consultant and she's started stopping by my desk at least once a week with a pamphlet on when the next Bradley classes are and sending me emails about the benefits of breastfeeding. Once again...complete silence on my end.

Well I tell you, I wish I'd known my bff when my older two were born, as she was the one who encouraged me to do what I felt worked best for myself and my baby and not care what others thought about my choice and she practically ordered me not to feel guilty about it.    

She'd never had any children of her own, just felt a woman shouldn't have to justify the choices she makes with her own body to anyone else, nor feel guilty for them. I think having the confidence in my choice must have shown because even when I popped a bottle in the third pirate's mouth in public no one said a thing to me about it.

I tried to breastfeed but could not produce enough.  It was a nerve-wracking two months before I finally put DD on the bottle.  I had been determined to breastfeed because I wanted to and because she had a milk protein allergy and couldn't have regular formulas.  We had limited funds but somehow we got through 10 months of buying super expensive special formula for her.  By one year of age her digestive system was better developed and we were able to put her on cows milk.  This allergy is genetic in the  family and all the babies outgrow it by one year of age.  I determined to try breastfeeding again with this one and hope for the best. 

And good for you for doing what was "right" for you.

There is prescription medicine that can help you produce more.  I know a woman who is on it.

[CLE_Girl]

If you put together all the advice for pregnant women about what to do/not do and eat or not eat, you'd be left with nothing but intravenous nutrition in a hospital bed for 9 months.

If you do everything "right" things can still go wrong. If you do everything "wrong" (drugs, alcohol, sushi) your baby might still be a perfectly healthy genius.

Jezebel summed up pregnancy advice in this funny article: http://jezebel.com/5960255/how-to-have-the-best-pregnancy-ever

[TootsNYC]

Heh.  I help push a car to jump start it when very early pregnant.  Less than 12 weeks pregnant.  My mother had a cow...  So, I called my OB and asked if I had done any damage.  Dr asked if it had hurt to push?  I said no.  Dr said, then you did no damage.  Mom calmed down, but not a lot.  My new mantra became "If it doesn't hurt, it doesn't hurt!"

That reminds me of the time when I was a little bit pregnant--medium belly--and wend to a wedding shower. There are tons of guests, tons of gifts, and I was helping to put them in the car.
  It was sort of difficult bcs my arms were suddenly shorter, if you know what I mean. But it's not like they were heavy. I had all these people getting upset because I was carrying things.

[Outdoor Girl]

For the most part, I let a pregnant woman do whatever she wants to do.  She knows her own body, best.  But I did object on the job, once.  I was doing an inspection and had taken water samples.  The box was quite large and weighed almost 20 kilograms (40ish pounds).  The operator who was accompanying me was about 6 months pregnant.  She was going to carry the box out to the vehicle for me!  So I handed her the much lighter and much smaller items I had in my hands and I grabbed the box.  I'd intended to take two trips, not expecting her to help me at all.

I have friends who played softball right into their 5th months.

[Ceallach]

One of the midwives in the practice I went to kept trying to convince me to bfeed and even tried to make me feel guilty about not choosing it.  It didn't work and just ticked me off so I made sure I didn't have any more appointments with her.  Thankfully she was the only one who got judgy with me about using formula. No one else seemed to care, thankfully.

Ugh...don't even get me started on the bfeeding advocates. There is a woman in my office who is both certified in teaching the Bradley method (unmedicated chilbirth technique) and a certified lacatation consultant and she's started stopping by my desk at least once a week with a pamphlet on when the next Bradley classes are and sending me emails about the benefits of breastfeeding. Once again...complete silence on my end.

Well I tell you, I wish I'd known my bff when my older two were born, as she was the one who encouraged me to do what I felt worked best for myself and my baby and not care what others thought about my choice and she practically ordered me not to feel guilty about it.    

She'd never had any children of her own, just felt a woman shouldn't have to justify the choices she makes with her own body to anyone else, nor feel guilty for them. I think having the confidence in my choice must have shown because even when I popped a bottle in the third pirate's mouth in public no one said a thing to me about it.

I tried to breastfeed but could not produce enough.  It was a nerve-wracking two months before I finally put DD on the bottle.  I had been determined to breastfeed because I wanted to and because she had a milk protein allergy and couldn't have regular formulas.  We had limited funds but somehow we got through 10 months of buying super expensive special formula for her.  By one year of age her digestive system was better developed and we were able to put her on cows milk.  This allergy is genetic in the  family and all the babies outgrow it by one year of age.  I determined to try breastfeeding again with this one and hope for the best. 

And good for you for doing what was "right" for you.

There is prescription medicine that can help you produce more.  I know a woman who is on it.

This is part of the problem though - there's kind of this assumption that people haven't already tried everything before making the decision that's right for them and their family.    (Or even if they haven't tried everything, that they've tried what they're comfortable with / as far as they want to go). 

Obviously if somebody asks for advice it's great to give it, but what I see quite often is when somebody isn't breastfeeding people start to say "but why didn't you just express / take fenugreek / try harder" or whatever the case may be, forgetting that the person probably hasn't made the decision without due consideration.    I know people raised their eyebrows when my son decided to wean himself at 7 months.  And yes, if I'd chosen to, I could have kept expressing or perhaps tried even harder and longer to get him to continue.   But I decided not to - he'd loved feeding, but I wasn't going to force it.   I'm a big believer in breastfeeding but an even bigger believer in living a happy and relaxed life and having a happy baby, and how that works out is different for every family. 

[Ceallach]

For the most part, I let a pregnant woman do whatever she wants to do.  She knows her own body, best.  But I did object on the job, once.  I was doing an inspection and had taken water samples.  The box was quite large and weighed almost 20 kilograms (40ish pounds).  The operator who was accompanying me was about 6 months pregnant.  She was going to carry the box out to the vehicle for me!  So I handed her the much lighter and much smaller items I had in my hands and I grabbed the box.  I'd intended to take two trips, not expecting her to help me at all.

I have friends who played softball right into their 5th months.

I have a relative who was still out cycling several times per week, including the morning of the day she went into labour.  (Baby was overdue 2 weeks too so she was very pregnant!)   I was significantly less active than that at 9 months pregnant....