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Author Topic: Unwarrented Demands for Loyalty (Share stories)  (Read 111052 times)

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goldilocks

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Re: Unwarrented Demands for Loyalty (Share stories)
« Reply #105 on: February 14, 2014, 12:13:07 PM »
I knew an acquaintance who worked for a large national law firm (which incidentally, prided itself on being "family friendly" and "understanding the needs of its employees").

My acquaintance worked very hard, putting in 60-80 hour weeks constantly. Then her father became extremely ill and she had to fly interstate to be with her family. Turned out he needed life-saving surgery. My acquaintance, her mother, and sister all waited at the hospital while her father had his operation. The doctors had told them to brace themselves for the worst.

Then her phone rang. It was her supervisor calling. They said "We want to discuss the XYZ file you were working on before you left. Can you talk now?"

My acquaintance said tearfully "Look, I'm at the hospital with my family. My father's currently undergoing major surgery and we've just been told he might not survive."

There was a pause. Then her supervisor said, in an annoyed tone: "Yes, but can you TALK?" 

Luckily her father DID pull through, but the experience left such a bad taste in my acquaintance's mouth that she left that firm shortly afterwards.

Well, I'd have talked but they wouldn't have liked what I had to say.

In my case, I probably would have wanted to talk about the project, to get my mind off the surgery (as much as possible).  I don't really fault the supervisor for called, but he should have backed off when you didn't immediately agree to talk.

Years ago, I was working a minimum wage job.   I got home from school and found out my father had been diagnosed with cancer that day and was being immediately admitted to the hospital for surgery.   I called my boss and told him I had to take my father to the hospital.  He angrily asked why my mother couldn't take him.  I replied that my mother didn't drive.   So he said - So can't you call a cab?


In his minor defense, I think he thought I was lying.   He did apologize a few days later, apparently when he found out I was telling the truth.

gmatoy

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Re: Unwarrented Demands for Loyalty (Share stories)
« Reply #106 on: February 14, 2014, 06:20:48 PM »
I knew an acquaintance who worked for a large national law firm (which incidentally, prided itself on being "family friendly" and "understanding the needs of its employees").

My acquaintance worked very hard, putting in 60-80 hour weeks constantly. Then her father became extremely ill and she had to fly interstate to be with her family. Turned out he needed life-saving surgery. My acquaintance, her mother, and sister all waited at the hospital while her father had his operation. The doctors had told them to brace themselves for the worst.

Then her phone rang. It was her supervisor calling. They said "We want to discuss the XYZ file you were working on before you left. Can you talk now?"

My acquaintance said tearfully "Look, I'm at the hospital with my family. My father's currently undergoing major surgery and we've just been told he might not survive."

There was a pause. Then her supervisor said, in an annoyed tone: "Yes, but can you TALK?" 

Luckily her father DID pull through, but the experience left such a bad taste in my acquaintance's mouth that she left that firm shortly afterwards.

Well, I'd have talked but they wouldn't have liked what I had to say.
[/b]

I just used the bolding to stand in for the missing "like" button!

Lady Snowdon

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Re: Unwarrented Demands for Loyalty (Share stories)
« Reply #107 on: February 14, 2014, 06:34:06 PM »
My mom worked for iterations of the same company for over 30 years (one of the big telecoms, so it had about five different names over those 30 years).  She put up with a lot that I'm not sure I'd be willing to put up with - she was on call during my high school and college graduations, for example, and family vacations were often interrupted or put on hold while she took emergency calls.  About 8 years ago, my father was diagnosed with Alzheimer's and my mom had to take extra time off to deal with his doctor appointments, and generally help him out more and more.  It got to the point two years ago where she applied for FMLA to be with my dad once per week and go to doctor appointments with him.  Because of all she'd done for the company, and how hard she worked to make her absences as non-disruptive as possible, her boss assured her that her job was fine and she had nothing to worry about as a planned restructuring approached.

Then she found out the job she would be offered after the restructuring involved her traveling Monday - Friday every week, and only being home on the weekends.  She told her boss she couldn't do that, due to family health issues.  Her boss said, "Is this about your husband?  Shouldn't you have put him in a care facility by now?  It's not like he really remembers your or anyone else at this point, right?  We don't have any positions for you that are based in ThisCity, so if you don't take this, you'll be let go."  Said boss was stunned when my mom gave her one month notice and complained that she hadn't given him enough time to find her replacement. 

Luci

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Re: Unwarrented Demands for Loyalty (Share stories)
« Reply #108 on: February 14, 2014, 07:46:36 PM »
... Her boss said, "Is this about your husband?  Shouldn't you have put him in a care facility by now?  It's not like he really remembers your or anyone else at this point, right?  We don't have any positions for you that are based in ThisCity, so if you don't take this, you'll be let go."  Said boss was stunned when my mom gave her one month notice and complained that she hadn't given him enough time to find her replacement.

This is one of the few times I literally gasped out loud while reading E-Hell. Poor Boss! No, really; the man just doesn't get it. Bully for your mom.

kherbert05

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Re: Unwarrented Demands for Loyalty (Share stories)
« Reply #109 on: February 14, 2014, 08:12:20 PM »
What people earn is supposed to be confidential. I worked in payroll and this was stressed on me on my first day.


Mine is posted on my employer's website. My base salary is set by law. Then the school district can add to that to be competitive with other districts.
Don't Teach Them For Your Past. Teach Them For Their Future

Outdoor Girl

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Re: Unwarrented Demands for Loyalty (Share stories)
« Reply #110 on: February 15, 2014, 09:30:20 AM »
I've never worked in a private company; I've always worked for government, either municipal or provincial.  Which means I know what all my colleagues make because they are making the same as me, unless they haven't been there for 5 years, yet.  You start at the base amount and get an increase every year, if you've earned it, up to the top of the pay band.

Where I used to work, I originally had a supervisor I liked but she wasn't well liked by management because she would protect her people from their crazy ideas.  She was forced out; they didn't fire her but made things so unpleasant for her that she quit.  We went without a supervisor for quite some time, with the person senior to me somewhat acting in the supervisory role.  I had a great deal of autonomy under the former supervisor, with the ability to make decisions on my own.  Which continued after she left.  Until the person senior to me was promoted to supervisor.  Suddenly, I had to clear absolutely every decision through her.  The junior employees had been used to coming to me with questions and for decisions.  And now, I couldn't help them.  'You'll have to ask Supervisor'.  Except supervisor wasn't around very much.  It made our lives very difficult.  And the fact that Supervisor would please management at the expense of her staff made it even more difficult.

And yet, she was absolutely shocked when I told her I was applying for a position elsewhere in the organization (had to - didn't want to) and even more shocked when I actually left.  She held up my transfer for months by lying to the other supervisor and their manager.  And yet, she never got her comeuppance.  I left the organization altogether within a year after this nonsense.
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Jocelyn

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Re: Unwarrented Demands for Loyalty (Share stories)
« Reply #111 on: February 15, 2014, 11:01:45 AM »
What people earn is supposed to be confidential. I worked in payroll and this was stressed on me on my first day.
I agree that people who have access to that information in the course of their work should consider it confidential. But it's a huge red flag for me, when an employer stresses that an individual is never, ever to tell a co-worker about his.her salary- because in my experience, that means that the boss is engaged in unfair practices, and knows it. If you don't let the men tell the women they're getting $5000 a year more for the same work, then you don't have to deal with irate women employees.

MrTango

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Re: Unwarrented Demands for Loyalty (Share stories)
« Reply #112 on: February 15, 2014, 11:25:44 AM »
What people earn is supposed to be confidential. I worked in payroll and this was stressed on me on my first day.
I agree that people who have access to that information in the course of their work should consider it confidential. But it's a huge red flag for me, when an employer stresses that an individual is never, ever to tell a co-worker about his.her salary- because in my experience, that means that the boss is engaged in unfair practices, and knows it. If you don't let the men tell the women they're getting $5000 a year more for the same work, then you don't have to deal with irate women employees.

I don't think that's always the case, but that can be one indication of unfair practices.  Unless there were other indications, however, I wouldn't use that one policy as an indication of a problem.  I've never held a job where HR policies didn't prohibit us from discussing our pay with other employees.  Of course, that didn't stop us.

MerryCat

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Re: Unwarrented Demands for Loyalty (Share stories)
« Reply #113 on: February 15, 2014, 11:33:19 AM »
A dear friend told me that a college roommate laid into her once because friend went home to visit family instead of chaperoning the roommate to a party, after which she found herself pregnant.

 Mind you friend had never said she would chaperone, it was just expected of her so when roommate found out she was pregnant, she put the blame squarely on friend for not babysitting her that night.  ::)

Friend moved out and has lived alone ever since.

It's weird how many people think it's other people's responsibility to make them live their lives right. I knew a girl who was making a lot of destructive choices over a long distance relationship. Most of us could see he was scamming her, but she ignored anyone who told her so and only listened to people who told her what she wanted to hear. When everything inevitably hit the fan she blamed those same people for the whole mess/ You see, their "bad advice" was the reason her whole life went pear shaped. Not her fault at all.

It's been years now. I sometimes think of her and wonder who she's blaming for her choices these days.

weeblewobble

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Re: Unwarrented Demands for Loyalty (Share stories)
« Reply #114 on: February 15, 2014, 11:57:58 AM »
I've never worked in a private company; I've always worked for government, either municipal or provincial.  Which means I know what all my colleagues make because they are making the same as me, unless they haven't been there for 5 years, yet.  You start at the base amount and get an increase every year, if you've earned it, up to the top of the pay band.

Where I used to work, I originally had a supervisor I liked but she wasn't well liked by management because she would protect her people from their crazy ideas.  She was forced out; they didn't fire her but made things so unpleasant for her that she quit.  We went without a supervisor for quite some time, with the person senior to me somewhat acting in the supervisory role.  I had a great deal of autonomy under the former supervisor, with the ability to make decisions on my own.  Which continued after she left.  Until the person senior to me was promoted to supervisor.  Suddenly, I had to clear absolutely every decision through her.  The junior employees had been used to coming to me with questions and for decisions.  And now, I couldn't help them.  'You'll have to ask Supervisor'.  Except supervisor wasn't around very much.  It made our lives very difficult.  And the fact that Supervisor would please management at the expense of her staff made it even more difficult.

And yet, she was absolutely shocked when I told her I was applying for a position elsewhere in the organization (had to - didn't want to) and even more shocked when I actually left.  She held up my transfer for months by lying to the other supervisor and their manager.  And yet, she never got her comeuppance.  I left the organization altogether within a year after this nonsense.

I too had a super-micro manager as a boss. Absolutely EVERYTHING had to be signed off by him, from the font we used on publications, to wording on letters, to the color of the paper we printed invoices on.  All of this might not have been so bad, except that we were basically his "side business" to his very busy primary business.  So we would rush to get our work done and then have to wait hours for him to approve it, make whatever changes he suggested, submit the revisions, wait hours for those to be approved, make a second or third round changes, wait for hours, etc.  And he never understood why it took us so long to finish projects.  ::)

TootsNYC

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Re: Unwarrented Demands for Loyalty (Share stories)
« Reply #115 on: February 15, 2014, 01:02:29 PM »
Do you work with me?

eltf177

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Re: Unwarrented Demands for Loyalty (Share stories)
« Reply #116 on: February 15, 2014, 02:02:03 PM »
What people earn is supposed to be confidential. I worked in payroll and this was stressed on me on my first day.
I agree that people who have access to that information in the course of their work should consider it confidential. But it's a huge red flag for me, when an employer stresses that an individual is never, ever to tell a co-worker about his.her salary- because in my experience, that means that the boss is engaged in unfair practices, and knows it. If you don't let the men tell the women they're getting $5000 a year more for the same work, then you don't have to deal with irate women employees.

My ex-boss "Scrooge" was exactly like this. And the reason was he _did_ pay new people almost as much as people like me who had been there for years and not gotten a decent raise. The original staff found out and it ended up costing him _all_ his experienced personnel in the space of a few months...

AmethystAnne

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Re: Unwarrented Demands for Loyalty (Share stories)
« Reply #117 on: February 15, 2014, 06:26:45 PM »
What people earn is supposed to be confidential. I worked in payroll and this was stressed on me on my first day.


Mine is posted on my employer's website. My base salary is set by law. Then the school district can add to that to be competitive with other districts.

My salary is too. Also all levels of all job positions in the district.

PastryGoddess

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Re: Unwarrented Demands for Loyalty (Share stories)
« Reply #118 on: February 15, 2014, 06:58:20 PM »
What people earn is supposed to be confidential. I worked in payroll and this was stressed on me on my first day.
I agree that people who have access to that information in the course of their work should consider it confidential. But it's a huge red flag for me, when an employer stresses that an individual is never, ever to tell a co-worker about his.her salary- because in my experience, that means that the boss is engaged in unfair practices, and knows it. If you don't let the men tell the women they're getting $5000 a year more for the same work, then you don't have to deal with irate women employees.

I don't think that's always the case, but that can be one indication of unfair practices.  Unless there were other indications, however, I wouldn't use that one policy as an indication of a problem.  I've never held a job where HR policies didn't prohibit us from discussing our pay with other employees.  Of course, that didn't stop us.

I have to agree with Mr. Tango.  Almost every company out there has a policy about not divulging salary.  There are many other criteria available to determine whether a company is a good fit. The salary policy is at the bottom of the list for me. 

PeterM

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Re: Unwarrented Demands for Loyalty (Share stories)
« Reply #119 on: February 15, 2014, 07:54:58 PM »
My ex-boss "Scrooge" was exactly like this. And the reason was he _did_ pay new people almost as much as people like me who had been there for years and not gotten a decent raise. The original staff found out and it ended up costing him _all_ his experienced personnel in the space of a few months...

Happened to me with a job in high school. I'd been working there for a year without a raise, and found out that all three of the people the new manager had just hired for the exact same position were making significantly more than me. I went in to talk to him and tell him I needed to be given a raise to match their salary or I'd quit, and he spent quite a bit of time complaining that "I told all of them not to tell anyone what they were being paid!" rather than actually discussing the issue with me.

When he did deign to talk it over with me, it boiled down to "I'm not giving you a raise and you should be grateful you have a job," so I gave my two week's notice. He started screaming at me, so I asked him if he even wanted me to work my last two weeks. He said no, so I left and went next door to the supermarket, where I immediately got a job for more money than I'd been asking my ex-boss for.

I understand that not all "salaries are confidential" policies come from sinister motives, but I can't say I trust them all that much.


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