Unwarrented Demands for Loyalty (Share stories)

[Piratelvr1121]

Not work related, but I did get in an argument with my mother when I expressed an interest in moving to the Midwest.  Now this was not even a plan, simply an interest.  But you really couldn't say "I'd like to visit X someday" cause she'd assume you were planning on going tomorrow and would lecture you at length on what a bad idea it was, etc.

Anyway, as predicted when she found out, she went nuts and insisted we had to stay close to them because they  were our "support system".    Support to them meaning "We'll support you so long as you do everything we think you should be doing."

Well we didn't move to the Midwest because DH didn't want to move far from his parents who do deserve our loyalty cause they are good people, but we did move about 60 miles west within the same state to a smaller town and that suits us.

[HorseFreak]

I was expected to help fetch the work vehicle I was driving during our delightful southern Snowpacolypse that got stuck in a ditch and broken into overnight the day after the storm. The state was still on lockdown (don't go out unless it's an emergency, abandoned vehicles everywhere which are why I got stuck where I was) and I had walked 8 miles in the snow with bronchitis before being picked up by an off-duty cop to get back to work the previous afternoon.

My boss called at 9:30 am after I had gotten home at 8:30 pm and told me that he was picking me up to drive 12 miles down icy roads to fetch it. I very politely told him I was sick and no way in heck was I going out there. 

Today again he's upset no one will/can go to the office to take care of some important things and he has to do it himself. He owns 2 4WD vehicles and the business. This is all on him.

[Seraphia]

It's like she's watched all the shows with the super tight groups of friends, and wants that,

Urgh. I had to explain to a previous friend that the reason TV shows have these super tight groups of friends is because being that close for so long creates drama. They need drama because they are a TV show. I don't need drama because I am not on a TV show. Space is healthy and normal. Being in each other's pockets is not.

Maybe this should go in the "Things you can't believe you had to tell another adult" thread, but I had to explain to someone that TV, being, well, not real, meant that just because a woman on a TV show found [thing] attractive and deeply romantic did not mean that his GF would automatically also find [thing] attractive and deeply romantic.

He was all put out because: "I walked sooooooo far and did [thing] for her and she didn't do anything besides say 'thanks'!" Sorry dude, but the only time doing [thing] gets the GF to leap into your arms and cover you with tearful kisses is when it's been written by Nicholas Sparks and is accompanied by a soundtrack. He's a good person, but he sort of assumes that everything on TV is a little closer to the real world than it truly is.

[Kari]

Had an ex who, after the breakup, tried to get back together with me and another of his exes at the same time. He'd get upset if I went somewhere cool and didn't invite him, even if I was just going by myself. He'd go through periods of not talking to me because it was "too hard" but if I wanted space from him, he'd get upset. He once snubbed me in public and then texted me passive-aggressive remarks on how I didn't say hello.  His final hissy fit came when he got some bad news and I went out to eat instead of immediately dashing off to a location where he'd eventually be, ready with open arms to comfort him when he arrived. His exit flounce was the best thing that happened to me and severed the remaining strings of a very dysfunctional relationship.

[Yarnspinner]

Friendship loyalty--I was the bad guy here.  At my first real job (oh so many years ago) I had a coworker who quickly became a friend.  But we worked in different departments and only saw each other for lunch. 

She got a new job in another state.  She handed me a form that she billed as a character reference. It was clearly something asking for an assessment of her job skills by a supervisor....which I was not.  I showed her that and she took it back cheerfully enough....but refused to speak to me from that day on and told coworkers I was unsupportive and unhelpful.

[jedikaiti]

I am failing to see you as the bad guy for not committing an act of fraud on her behalf.

[VorFemme]

It's like she's watched all the shows with the super tight groups of friends, and wants that,

Urgh. I had to explain to a previous friend that the reason TV shows have these super tight groups of friends is because being that close for so long creates drama. They need drama because they are a TV show. I don't need drama because I am not on a TV show. Space is healthy and normal. Being in each other's pockets is not.

Maybe this should go in the "Things you can't believe you had to tell another adult" thread, but I had to explain to someone that TV, being, well, not real, meant that just because a woman on a TV show found [thing] attractive and deeply romantic did not mean that his GF would automatically also find [thing] attractive and deeply romantic.

He was all put out because: "I walked sooooooo far and did [thing] for her and she didn't do anything besides say 'thanks'!" Sorry dude, but the only time doing [thing] gets the GF to leap into your arms and cover you with tearful kisses is when it's been written by Nicholas Sparks and is accompanied by a soundtrack. He's a good person, but he sort of assumes that everything on TV is a little closer to the real world than it truly is.

Reminds me of the stories about the (fictional) technique called the "Venus Butterfly" on LA Law, lo, these many years ago (late 1980s, I think - maybe as late as 1990, based on where we were living). 

Apparently a LOT of librarians (pre-internet or very, very early internet days) got asked for the copies of the various advice books that had the instructions on how the Venus Butterfly was done, because it was supposed to be infallible.

After all, the WRITERS on LA Law wrote it that way!  So, how is it done?

It's not just the aliens in Galaxy Quest who had no real grasp of or understanding of the concept of "not-true" tales being told for purely entertainment purposes - either it is the truth or it is a lie and if it is on TV, the internet, in a book, etc. (fill in the blank) then it can't be made up for purely entertainment purposes!

[2littlemonkeys]

I have two for my first job.  I was underpaid and worked to death.  We were given one week of vacation per year but actually getting approval was hard.  Or you would get it approved and then some 'emergency' would come along and you'd have to cancel with the promise that you could reschedule. (snort)

So I was able to take a week off and went to visit my parents in another state.  I got a call on my cell from work.  Apparently, the Boss's Pet messed something up and Boss demanded I come in ASAP to fix it.   I told them I was unable to do that because I was hours away on vacation.  He told me I was a terrible employee and not a team player and hung up on me.  BTW, there was absolutely no reason the Boss's Pet couldn't have fixed the problem himself.  He just thought it was beneath him to do so. 

Things were a little frosty after that.

The second one is on my last day in the office.  I'd quit for greener pastures and had decided to take my unused vacation before I started my new job.

Boss approached me as I was leaving and said something like, "Okay, so we'll call you next week to set up time for you to come in and help out until we get the new person trained."  (Something I had NEVER agreed to or even offered to do.)

HAHAHAHA!  I gleefully told him I was going to be out of the country for a week and then starting my new job and that simply wasn't possible. 

[Mary Lennox]

I used to have boss who, at her worst, fired a bunch of people for getting together outside of work.

What the…? No. I hope someone reported to her, because that's a million kinds of wrong.

Oh yes. There were a number of us who filed complaints against her with the employment/labour ministry for missing wages, unfair dismissal etc. It was just over a year ago and I think it's pretty much been a 100% turn over since then. As far as I know she's still pulling the same stunts but I refuse to go near that place to confirm because it raises my blood pressure too much just thinking about her.

[Delete My Account]

I used to have boss who, at her worst, fired a bunch of people for getting together outside of work.

What the…? No. I hope someone reported to her, because that's a million kinds of wrong.

Oh yes. There were a number of us who filed complaints against her with the employment/labour ministry for missing wages, unfair dismissal etc. It was just over a year ago and I think it's pretty much been a 100% turn over since then. As far as I know she's still pulling the same stunts but I refuse to go near that place to confirm because it raises my blood pressure too much just thinking about her.

I'm sorry to hear that. How is she even still employed? She needs to be served a hot dish of karma.

[Shalamar]

My mother-in-law.   When my husband and I first started dating, we went out for dinner with my future MIL and other future in-laws.  As the dinner was winding down, one of my husband's sisters asked her mother what she had planned for the rest of the evening.    Future MIL said blithely "Oh, I'm going to go to the mall.  I don't have a car, though, so (Son's Name) and Shalamar are going to drive me, wait for me while I do some shopping, and then drive me home."  This was news to us. 

Ehell would have been proud of me.  I said politely "I'm sorry; that won't be possible."  "Why not?"  "We already have plans."  Our plans consisted of going to the library and then going home to watch TV, but I didn't tell her that.

Now, if she'd asked us to drive her to the mall, that might have been a different story.

[pixel dust]

I worked at a place where the beginning wage was changed but the wages of ongoing employees, who had been faithfully working  there for less than they were worth for a long time did not get a wage raise so that the percentage for seniority would be preserved (the employer raised the entry level wage but did not carry this over into the other wage levels for the job for people who had been long time employees).  The beginning people were making the same or more than the old timers.   
We complained and they did fix it but gads, how smart do you have to be to know this is just lousy treatment for loyalty!

My husband had this issue and it was the final straw that broke the camel's back and got him out of his job (which ends tomorrow - yay!). He recommended a friend for a position in his company - same contracting company, same position, same contract, etc. as what he (hubs) was currently holding. The friend was offered a job with the contractor but the contract he was applying for didn't accept him so he didn't get the job. But some how my hubs found out that his contract company offered his friend $20k OVER what my hubs was making as a loyal 5+ year employee! Thankfully hubs has friends in other contract companies and on other contracts so he was able to find a much better fit (who offered him a MUCH higher salary than he's making right now!) and he starts next Tuesday!

[camlan]

At one job, I was offered a promotion and took it. I became a supervisor and got a raise.

The owners of the company (it was a small family owned company) were asked by a friend, as favor, to hire his son for a year, while the son studied for a grad school exam. So basically make up a job for him and pay him for a year. He was fresh out of college. I was 15 years out of college and had a Master's degree.

Imagine my surprise when I found out that he was getting paid $4,000 more a year than I was.

Part of it was a big change in the job market. When I had been hired 7 years previously, the economy was bad and it was hard to get a job. When the kid was hired, things had changed and it was hard to find qualified employees, and as a result, salaries were higher.

While I debated for a week on how to handle this situation, the owner called me in and gave me a $5,000 raise.

And I earned every single penny of it, supervising that kid, who was one of the most incompetent human beings I have ever encountered. I spent that year re-doing pretty much everything he did, to get it to meet minimal quality standards.

[Katana_Geldar]

What people earn is supposed to be confidential. I worked in payroll and this was stressed on me on my first day.

[camlan]

What people earn is supposed to be confidential. I worked in payroll and this was stressed on me on my first day.

But sometimes people tell you their salaries. That's what happened to me. The kid was *complaining* that he was a college grad and only making $XX,XXX for the year. You can't stop people from sharing that sort of information, if they want to.