Author Topic: Mid-week wedding because of the date... thoughts?  (Read 2289 times)

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kherbert05

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Re: Mid-week wedding because of the date... thoughts?
« Reply #45 on: July 08, 2014, 11:43:12 PM »
I don't have much to say about the date thing except give everyone as much lead time as you can - and don't be offended if someone can't make it.

About your future Mother-in-law wanting to invite her daughter's husband's parents, siblings, siblings' spouses, and siblings' kids even in my crazy extended family that would be a no. My cousin's in-laws had the same "status" and great aunts and uncles in my family because the families were friends.

How well do your future husband and his sister get along? I suggest both couples put forth a united front that of course your sister's in laws wouldn't be invited. (Assuming sister is reasonable)
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wolfie

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Re: Mid-week wedding because of the date... thoughts?
« Reply #46 on: July 09, 2014, 10:09:59 AM »
As someone who doesn't even remember the day she met someone being told that the wedding would be on a day that means I have to take 3 days off work so they can get married on the day they met would make me internally roll my eyes. And I wouldn't feel like i could say that I wasn't happy about it either - that I would have to suck it up and deal because protesting would not really be welcomed. But it wouldn't fill me with feelings of "how romantic the couple are" - it would leave me with feelings of "and their being so precious about the date made me burn vacation days and spend money I didn't want to". But you would never know any of that because I wouldn't say anything - just think it.

Betelnut

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Re: Mid-week wedding because of the date... thoughts?
« Reply #47 on: July 09, 2014, 12:14:47 PM »
For me, some of it also has to do with the actual date itself.  Smack dab in between Thanksgiving and Christmas?  Probably won't be able to come because I will want to travel during either one of those holidays.  In the middle of summer when I don't have other travel plans? That would be a better time.

I wasn't able to go to my sister's wedding because it was like two weeks after Thanksgiving, unexpected and I had just paid a lot of money to visit everyone for the holday. 
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Lynn2000

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Re: Mid-week wedding because of the date... thoughts?
« Reply #48 on: July 09, 2014, 12:53:04 PM »
For me, some of it also has to do with the actual date itself.  Smack dab in between Thanksgiving and Christmas?  Probably won't be able to come because I will want to travel during either one of those holidays.  In the middle of summer when I don't have other travel plans? That would be a better time.

I wasn't able to go to my sister's wedding because it was like two weeks after Thanksgiving, unexpected and I had just paid a lot of money to visit everyone for the holday.

Yes, this is another "date" consideration--holiday-time weddings. My friend Amy cancelled plans to spend Thanksgiving with some relatives this year, because her FIL announced he was getting married around that time. (Personally I would have said, "Sorry, can't come, previous engagement," but then, I don't really like FIL.) Amy felt like the wedding, inconveniently placed though it was, trumped annual holiday plans. So FIL is getting her attendance at it, but not without emotional/social cost for her.
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catwhiskers

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Re: Mid-week wedding because of the date... thoughts?
« Reply #49 on: July 10, 2014, 08:08:12 AM »
My mother and I were talking about weddings in general last night, so I floated the potential date. She was more surprised by the chosen month than the weekday wedding (she seems to think everyone one wants to get married in the summer).

I'd like to thank all of you for your replies. You've given us viewpoints we wouldn't have thought of and some very good ideas, as well as pointing out potential pitfalls we could be looking at in the future if we don't stand firm about our guest list now.

Particular thanks for this statement below, it was a very nice way of putting it in a positive light:

Whichever date you choose will become important to you, so using one that's already important just doesn't matter in the long run.

If we end up changing the date, I'm going to print that out and stick it on our planning folder. :)

You should definitely do that!  Also, you are more of a bride than me if you even HAVE a planning folder and I'm getting married in a couple of months :)  We planned our wedding in part around when we see ourselves wanting to take an anniversary trip in the future, so we are creating a new special date that we get to celebrate, and I look forward to many years of having something to toast in September versus July when we met / started dating.  More memories and anniversaries are nice to have.

Oh, we don't have one yet. We've not even started planning (neither of us want the hassle, we just want to be married without the wedding :P). But given OH's memory for things like dates, times and small details, we're going to need one when we start.

ClaireC79

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Re: Mid-week wedding because of the date... thoughts?
« Reply #50 on: July 10, 2014, 04:33:33 PM »
You mention that only two people would have to arrange time off work - but presumably that's still two people who wouldn't have to make those arrangements if you chose a more convenient date.

One of those people needs to make an arrangement whatever day she picks (as weekends are a normal part of their working week and do varying shifts - in those jobs it is often easier to get a week day off)

LifeOnPluto

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Re: Mid-week wedding because of the date... thoughts?
« Reply #51 on: July 10, 2014, 11:17:09 PM »
Given the distance some guests will have to travel (a 7 hour round trip in a day is a bit much, IMO) I think a mid-week wedding is slightly inconsiderate. If it was an evening wedding, in a town where all the guests lived, I wouldn't have a problem with it.

Regarding inviting your FSIL's inlaws, I'd definitely push back on that one. Would your MIL be amenable to hosting a nice dinner for them and you, after the wedding? That could be a good compromise.