Wedding Bliss and Blues > Where Do I Start?

Is a Friday morning wedding really so unusual?

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I hope this is in the right place, wasn't sure where to put it. For a variety of reasons fiancé and I have decided to have our wedding on a Friday morning, there will be an 11am Mass and then a lunchtime reception. We did this mainly for financial reasons, the hall costs only half of what it would if we'd done a Saturday reception and because we are doing a lunch time wedding and not serving alcohol they agreed that we didn't need to hire security, which saves us $25 an hour. Most of our family haven't said much one way or the other about the date but I have had some people act shocked, we've received comments along the line of "why would you do something like that??" I realize some people may not be able to come because they won't be able to take off work, I'm ok with that. But a few of our relatives have just acted so shocked we'd even consider something like this that it makes me wonder if we were actually rude. :p

It's not rude per se, but it did shift the financial burden of the wedding from the hosts to the guests, who must now take a day off work even if they are in town, and may need to take two days off if they need to travel.  For some people this will mean going without pay, and for others it will mean that they have less time to take an actual vacation.  Some people may want to attend but be unable to do so because they can't get off work at all.

You should have the ceremony you can afford, but understand that doing it this way may mean that you cannot have all the guests you want.

I wonder if people assume you expect them to take the day off from work? You hear so many stories where the bride and groom get angry that people can't drive (or fly) hundreds of miles, rent hotel rooms, etc. for the privilege of attending their wedding. Or maybe they're bummed because they really want to come but won't be able to?

I don't think you're being rude, you should plan the wedding you want and can afford. Keep in mind, though, that I eloped and don't even have pictures of my marriage (no wedding) so my opinion may be the oddball.  ;D

I think it is a little inconsiderate (not rude, but yes absolutely unusual) to schedule the wedding at a time when you know almost everyone already has definite plans - going to work.  The point green cat about shifting the financial burden is a good one.  I'd be torn between wondering if you didn't actually want me to come and thinking it was a little over the top to schedule something that most people close to you would normally feel obligated to attend or be very sad to have missed at a time when you know they'd have to go significantly out of their way to make it.

I can see your point, it's not ideal but we really are on a very tight budget. :p I kinda feel like I was in between a rock and a hard place, I live in a small town in state A and fiancée lives in a large city in state B, most of our family also lives in state B, the two states are about a 1000 miles apart. We were originally going to have the wedding in state A since this is where we are going to live after the wedding and things are much less expensive here. Both our families kicked up a fuss about traveling that far so we agreed to hold it in state B, but since we are paying for everything ourselves it meant we needed to find ways to save money, a lot of money. :p This seemed like a good solution. :-\ While I'd love everyone to come I completely understand if they can't take the time off work and would never guilt anyone over it.


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