Author Topic: Is a Friday morning wedding really so unusual?  (Read 10409 times)

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wolfie

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Re: Is a Friday morning wedding really so unusual?
« Reply #30 on: February 15, 2014, 02:45:30 PM »
Personally I wouldn't have moved the wedding for the complainers, but you did so you set  a precedent. Now they will think you should move the day and time for them too. Honestly I don't know why but a Friday morning wedding would upset me more then a 1000 mile away wedding. Last Oct I drove from NY to VA for a wedding and had no issues with it but I would have Female Dog about a wedding on Friday - even though it would have saved me money! People are weird in what will and what won't upset them.

Mikayla

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Re: Is a Friday morning wedding really so unusual?
« Reply #31 on: February 15, 2014, 03:44:10 PM »
Personally I wouldn't have moved the wedding for the complainers, but you did so you set  a precedent. Now they will think you should move the day and time for them too. Honestly I don't know why but a Friday morning wedding would upset me more then a 1000 mile away wedding. Last Oct I drove from NY to VA for a wedding and had no issues with it but I would have Female Dog about a wedding on Friday - even though it would have saved me money! People are weird in what will and what won't upset them.

That isn't surprising, I'd think, even if it isn't fair to the couple.  I'd guess there's a knee jerk reaction to it that the couple is inconveniencing others to make something easier on themselves. 

I thought camlan brought up an interesting point about having to leave anyway on Friday, but I'm not sure how true that would be for a late afternoon wedding.  By my quick math, a 1000 mile flight is around 2 hours.  Obviously, for an 11 am event, this would be a pretty big challenge.

Sophia

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Re: Is a Friday morning wedding really so unusual?
« Reply #32 on: February 15, 2014, 03:50:25 PM »
 Unless the bride or groom were on mine or my husband's list of Dozen Closest People, we would say No. 
And, I love weddings, particularly the ceremony.  Of course, if you have to invite 200 people, and you'd really rather 50 people come, then a Friday morning wedding might be just the thing.  But, then I wouldn't travel 1000 miles for anyone not on the Dozen Closest People list.  I wouldn't think negative thoughts about the bride and groom. 

Margo

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Re: Is a Friday morning wedding really so unusual?
« Reply #33 on: February 15, 2014, 03:59:20 PM »
I don't think it is rude in any way. It would only be rude if you were pushing people to come or were critical of those who couldn't come on a Friday.

Saturday weddings are more common, but that doesn't make it rude.

My sister was married on a Friday - they were originally planning to get married on the Saturday, but then the Best man's sister scheduled her wedding for that day, and (as her parents are dead) wanted her brother to walk her down the aisle. Given the choice between not having the Best Man they wanted, and having the wedding on the Friday rather than the Saturday, they chose to move the wedding (this was before invitations went out, only immediate family/wedding party knew of the original date)

I don't think it is rude, any more than having a wedding on a Saturday morning where some/many guests will have to travel to get there is rude.

I hope you have a wonderful wedding, OP.

Jones

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Re: Is a Friday morning wedding really so unusual?
« Reply #34 on: February 15, 2014, 04:04:44 PM »
Fridays and Saturdays are the most popular wedding days in my area, but I know of couples who have married on other weekdays too.

The only time I've complained was a particular couple who were marrying late in August, we were planning on being there, then pictures showed up on Facebook as they had decided to marry on a Friday at the beginning of the month at the courthouse with some mutual friends as witnesses. That really upset me. But if it had been something they'd always planned I wouldn't have felt nearly so miffed about it.

shhh its me

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Re: Is a Friday morning wedding really so unusual?
« Reply #35 on: February 15, 2014, 04:19:23 PM »
Personally I wouldn't have moved the wedding for the complainers, but you did so you set  a precedent. Now they will think you should move the day and time for them too. Honestly I don't know why but a Friday morning wedding would upset me more then a 1000 mile away wedding. Last Oct I drove from NY to VA for a wedding and had no issues with it but I would have Female Dog about a wedding on Friday - even though it would have saved me money! People are weird in what will and what won't upset them.

That isn't surprising, I'd think, even if it isn't fair to the couple.  I'd guess there's a knee jerk reaction to it that the couple is inconveniencing others to make something easier on themselves. 

I thought camlan brought up an interesting point about having to leave anyway on Friday, but I'm not sure how true that would be for a late afternoon wedding.  By my quick math, a 1000 mile flight is around 2 hours.  Obviously, for an 11 am event, this would be a pretty big challenge.

Speaking just for myself I wouldn't want to arrive at 10 am for a 3 pm wedding.
I after paying for a flight i really don't want to miss the wedding for a flight delay.
I don't want to wear wedding clothes on the plane.
I dont want to sit in the hotel lobby waiting to check in and then get changed.

So I'm flying in the night before.  Its at least a hour to my airport at 4 am , during traffic hour its more like 2.5 hours. So 2.5 hours to get to the airport and 30 minutes for parking 90 minutes for security. IF I get off work at 6 and there isn't a flight at 10:30-pm or later (and I really don't want to get up at 4 am  and then have to go to a wedding) So for me if there isn't a flight available from 10:30- midnight I'm taking Friday off work at least 1/2 the day anyway. 

Neither a 11am Friday wedding or a 3-6pm Saturday wedding a thousand miles away is super convenient.  Darned if you do Darned if you don't.   

Alli8098

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Re: Is a Friday morning wedding really so unusual?
« Reply #36 on: February 15, 2014, 04:30:05 PM »
I don't think you are rude at all.  You are doing the best you can with what you have.  When I married my now ex-husband we were paying for it ourselves and had no help whatsoever from my family (me and my mother were estranged at the time).  We had a 5PM wedding on a Monday, and most of our guests did attend without complaint or such comments as you have received.  Personally if I could I would request the day off from work for a Friday morning wedding and enjoy having a 3-day weekend (assuming I only worked Mon-Fri of course) ;-).

Pay the comments no never mind, honestly when I remarried and had a Saturday night wedding many of the guests who RSVP'd they were coming didn't show.  I guess they had something better to do on a Saturday night.  ::) 

Good luck with your wedding, and here's wishing you a wonderful Marriage.

soon2bemrsf

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Re: Is a Friday morning wedding really so unusual?
« Reply #37 on: February 15, 2014, 04:48:43 PM »
Just a quick comment on the flights since someone mentioned it, it wouldn't be a quick 2 hour flight. My little airport only has flights to a few cities and the city the wedding is held in isn't one of them. So guests would have to fly to Salt Lake City or Denver and then take another flight to my city, it's usually about a 5 hour thing when fiancée or I fly to visit each other and that extra flight adds about $150-200 to the ticket cost. It's a pain.  :P 

Thanks you though, you've helped me understand guests frustration a lot better, I can't change the day of the week but it does help me to emphasize with them more. Funny thing, I've never worked a job where I got weekends off so I'm just as likely to have to take a day off for a Saturday wedding as I am for a Friday wedding, I'll admit I didn't give the work angle much thought.  :-[ If anyone asks from now on I'll just apologize and our budget didn't allow us to do it on a Saturday. Thanks again!  :)

soon2bemrsf

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Re: Is a Friday morning wedding really so unusual?
« Reply #38 on: February 15, 2014, 05:03:24 PM »
So question for those who would have a hard time with it, is it the time of day that's the biggest problem? Because, we could probably start the mass a little later in the day (although I'd have to check with fiancées pastor about that, I don't know for sure), would say a 2 or 3pm mass with a reception to follow be as hard to get to as an 11am mass with a reception to follow? We don't want to go to late because if we do it during the dinner hour, fiancées family will expect alcohol and dancing, and we can't afford the alcohol and I'm not sure the buffet lunch we have planned will be enough for dinner.

Kaymar

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Re: Is a Friday morning wedding really so unusual?
« Reply #39 on: February 15, 2014, 05:51:24 PM »
To me, any time before evening would be a no-can-do unless you were an immediate family member.  So as long as you are OK with people having to decline, you should go ahead with the time that works best for you.

Mergatroyd

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Re: Is a Friday morning wedding really so unusual?
« Reply #40 on: February 15, 2014, 08:47:29 PM »
I'm not catholic, so I'm wondering how long Mass is? If it is short- say, half and hour, and you can expect to be feeding people by 3:00 and out of the venue by 5:30 then a 2:00 time would be far better than 11:00 for me personally. If it is any longer than that though, and you would be feeding people around 4:00 to 5:00 then I as a guest would be expecting dinner and cake with alcohol and dancing to follow.
Again, personally, if it were me, I would go for a 1:00 mass/wedding, followed by a 3:00 tea/cake ceremony. Then guests could rise at their leisure, get spiffed up, have a light lunch, go to the wedding and have a nice snack after, then be home for a late supper or make plans to go out after. Nobody would be expecting a full meal, the workers would still be able to get in half a day (the locals at any rate) and it's early enough that people wouldn't be expecting an open bar.   

wolfie

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Re: Is a Friday morning wedding really so unusual?
« Reply #41 on: February 15, 2014, 10:06:04 PM »
So question for those who would have a hard time with it, is it the time of day that's the biggest problem? Because, we could probably start the mass a little later in the day (although I'd have to check with fiancées pastor about that, I don't know for sure), would say a 2 or 3pm mass with a reception to follow be as hard to get to as an 11am mass with a reception to follow? We don't want to go to late because if we do it during the dinner hour, fiancées family will expect alcohol and dancing, and we can't afford the alcohol and I'm not sure the buffet lunch we have planned will be enough for dinner.

Honestly if I was taking the friday off from work anyway I wouldn't care if it was an 11am mass or a 2/3 pm mass, unless I had to travel. If i have to travel 2 hours I would prefer the 2/3 pm because I hate mornings. But if it was in my area anyway then 11 might be preferred because I could do something else that evening. Kinda reclaim my late afternoon/evening.

TootsNYC

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Re: Is a Friday morning wedding really so unusual?
« Reply #42 on: February 15, 2014, 10:09:51 PM »
So question for those who would have a hard time with it, is it the time of day that's the biggest problem? Because, we could probably start the mass a little later in the day (although I'd have to check with fiancées pastor about that, I don't know for sure), would say a 2 or 3pm mass with a reception to follow be as hard to get to as an 11am mass with a reception to follow? We don't want to go to late because if we do it during the dinner hour, fiancées family will expect alcohol and dancing, and we can't afford the alcohol and I'm not sure the buffet lunch we have planned will be enough for dinner.

Logistically spekaing, it probably wouldn't make that much difference. But it would mentally make a difference. Illogical, I know.

Though I'm w/ wolfie--it I were local, a 2pm wedding would be a day-killer. I wouldn't feel I had the morning for anything, nor would I have the evening.

MariaE

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Re: Is a Friday morning wedding really so unusual?
« Reply #43 on: February 16, 2014, 02:04:50 AM »
So question for those who would have a hard time with it, is it the time of day that's the biggest problem? Because, we could probably start the mass a little later in the day (although I'd have to check with fiancées pastor about that, I don't know for sure), would say a 2 or 3pm mass with a reception to follow be as hard to get to as an 11am mass with a reception to follow? We don't want to go to late because if we do it during the dinner hour, fiancées family will expect alcohol and dancing, and we can't afford the alcohol and I'm not sure the buffet lunch we have planned will be enough for dinner.

If I were local, a 2-3pm wedding would be much easier for me to make, as instead of taking the entire day off work, I could just take the afternoon off and go home to change and get ready for the wedding after lunch.
 
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CakeEater

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Re: Is a Friday morning wedding really so unusual?
« Reply #44 on: February 16, 2014, 06:45:02 AM »
OP, I don't think you're being rude by hvaing your wedding on a Friday.

2-3pm wedding says dinner reception afterwards, to me. And if I had taken the day off work for a 3pm wedding, which I'd have to do, I'd feel a bit ripped off to have to do that and have the event finished in a couple of hours with just cake. From my perspective, I'd prefer it to be earlier and have lunch.

However, I think you're over-thinking a bit. You've made a lot of concessions for your guests. I'm a big believer in trying to make things easy for your guests, but I think you're doing the best you can in the circumstances. So have your wedding at the time that's best for you and let people come who can make it.