Author Topic: Is a Friday morning wedding really so unusual?  (Read 11064 times)

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katycoo

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Re: Is a Friday morning wedding really so unusual?
« Reply #60 on: February 16, 2014, 05:50:41 PM »
On the second point, I don't get the day killer part, though.  But that's because I think of 2 pm weddings as cake and punch, and these don't generally last long.  People can leave by 4:30.

See, and I figure, it its a cake and punch reception, how muchmore expensive could it possibly be on a Saturday (or even Sunday) over a weekday?

ITs not its a luncheon.

I understand that.  But it was an example of how a wedding can always be cheaper - IF that's your priority.  I'm not saying that it should be.

Outdoor Girl

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Re: Is a Friday morning wedding really so unusual?
« Reply #61 on: February 16, 2014, 05:53:06 PM »
It would still be a lot more expensive on a Saturday - more competition for the venue drives up the price.  Plus, having an afternoon reception would prevent the evening reception people from being able to come in and decorate early in the day, before the wedding.  It would be very unusual, I would think, for a venue to be occupied by one group from 1 to 3 and by another from 5 to whenever, unless it is just a small church hall thing.  Which is not what the OP is going for.
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katycoo

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Re: Is a Friday morning wedding really so unusual?
« Reply #62 on: February 16, 2014, 06:07:41 PM »
It would still be a lot more expensive on a Saturday - more competition for the venue drives up the price.  Plus, having an afternoon reception would prevent the evening reception people from being able to come in and decorate early in the day, before the wedding.  It would be very unusual, I would think, for a venue to be occupied by one group from 1 to 3 and by another from 5 to whenever, unless it is just a small church hall thing.  Which is not what the OP is going for.

I guess, if you're hiring a venue.  I always envisaged cake and punch receptions to be in a nice garden or park somewhere.

Outdoor Girl

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Re: Is a Friday morning wedding really so unusual?
« Reply #63 on: February 16, 2014, 06:36:27 PM »
It would still be a lot more expensive on a Saturday - more competition for the venue drives up the price.  Plus, having an afternoon reception would prevent the evening reception people from being able to come in and decorate early in the day, before the wedding.  It would be very unusual, I would think, for a venue to be occupied by one group from 1 to 3 and by another from 5 to whenever, unless it is just a small church hall thing.  Which is not what the OP is going for.

I guess, if you're hiring a venue.  I always envisaged cake and punch receptions to be in a nice garden or park somewhere.

But it isn't a cake and punch reception; it's a luncheon for 200 people.
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peaches

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Re: Is a Friday morning wedding really so unusual?
« Reply #64 on: February 16, 2014, 06:54:14 PM »
To me, a really appealing part of the original plan was the wedding luncheon. I think that would be lovely. And for that, an 11 a.m. ceremony fits perfectly.

Of course, an early afternoon wedding and reception would be fine, too. Iíve been to many, all enjoyable.

There is some inconvenience to guests no matter what you decide. Every wedding Iíve ever been to involved inconvenience to me. Regardless, Iíve loved them all.

Good luck, OP!

katycoo

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Re: Is a Friday morning wedding really so unusual?
« Reply #65 on: February 16, 2014, 06:56:48 PM »
It would still be a lot more expensive on a Saturday - more competition for the venue drives up the price.  Plus, having an afternoon reception would prevent the evening reception people from being able to come in and decorate early in the day, before the wedding.  It would be very unusual, I would think, for a venue to be occupied by one group from 1 to 3 and by another from 5 to whenever, unless it is just a small church hall thing.  Which is not what the OP is going for.

I guess, if you're hiring a venue.  I always envisaged cake and punch receptions to be in a nice garden or park somewhere.

But it isn't a cake and punch reception; it's a luncheon for 200 people.

Yes - I've already said upthread that I understand that, but that it was an example of how a wedding can always be cheaper - IF that's your priority.

sammycat

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Re: Is a Friday morning wedding really so unusual?
« Reply #66 on: February 16, 2014, 07:56:37 PM »
I wouldn't expect a 2 or 3 pm ceremony to be followed by a dinner reception, no matter what day of the week it was.

This may be regional. Where I live, it's irrelevant what time of day the ceremony is, or the location or level of formality for the overall wedding, it's always followed by a plated 2 or 3 course meal or full buffet reception.  I'd never even heard of a cake and punch reception or similar until this board.

OP, whilst a Friday morning reception is unusual, it sounds as though in this case it's a compromise between budget concerns and not expecting everyone to travel interstate. I'm a SAHM so I could attend, but I wouldn't expect/ask my DH to take time off work for a daytime wedding. If I worked outside the home I wouldn't take the day off unless it was for my child/sibling/parent, but each person is different. Those who can attend, will, and those who can't, can't.

TootsNYC

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Re: Is a Friday morning wedding really so unusual?
« Reply #67 on: February 16, 2014, 08:24:15 PM »
So question for those who would have a hard time with it, is it the time of day that's the biggest problem? Because, we could probably start the mass a little later in the day (although I'd have to check with fiancťes pastor about that, I don't know for sure), would say a 2 or 3pm mass with a reception to follow be as hard to get to as an 11am mass with a reception to follow? We don't want to go to late because if we do it during the dinner hour, fiancťes family will expect alcohol and dancing, and we can't afford the alcohol and I'm not sure the buffet lunch we have planned will be enough for dinner.

Logistically spekaing, it probably wouldn't make that much difference. But it would mentally make a difference. Illogical, I know.

Though I'm w/ wolfie--it I were local, a 2pm wedding would be a day-killer. I wouldn't feel I had the morning for anything, nor would I have the evening.

I agree on the bolded.  It probably has to do with the perception (whether true or not) that it might mean the difference for some guests between leaving early vs. having to take the day off.

On the second point, I don't get the day killer part, though.  But that's because I think of 2 pm weddings as cake and punch, and these don't generally last long.  People can leave by 4:30.

OP,  I agree you're overthinking it.  It sounds like you've made a lot of accommodations so far, and at some point, your  guests become rude in second guessing everything.

The "day killer" part might be because weekend weddings here take place at 2pm, with evening reception. And I would actually expect it to last until 6pm. So, start getting ready at 12 at the latest, have to leave by 1pm to get there, am not done until 6pm, have to drive home, it's 7pm. I have the evening, but the central part of the day is gone.

That said, this happens to me on a Saturday wedding so, so whatever.  I'd probably be reminding myself that my instinctive reaction was probably not actually sensible.

kareng57

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Re: Is a Friday morning wedding really so unusual?
« Reply #68 on: February 16, 2014, 11:16:32 PM »
I wouldn't expect a 2 or 3 pm ceremony to be followed by a dinner reception, no matter what day of the week it was.

This may be regional. Where I live, it's irrelevant what time of day the ceremony is, or the location or level of formality for the overall wedding, it's always followed by a plated 2 or 3 course meal or full buffet reception.  I'd never even heard of a cake and punch reception or similar until this board.

OP, whilst a Friday morning reception is unusual, it sounds as though in this case it's a compromise between budget concerns and not expecting everyone to travel interstate. I'm a SAHM so I could attend, but I wouldn't expect/ask my DH to take time off work for a daytime wedding. If I worked outside the home I wouldn't take the day off unless it was for my child/sibling/parent, but each person is different. Those who can attend, will, and those who can't, can't.


Yes, dinner receptions are quite common here.  However, I've been to a number of mid-afternoon weddings that are followed with an appetizer/light refreshment reception and they're generally over by about 6 pm.  No one considers them to be rude or inappropriate, since they are not straddling a usual-mealtime.

MummyPumpkin83

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Re: Is a Friday morning wedding really so unusual?
« Reply #69 on: February 17, 2014, 01:23:01 AM »
My cousin had a Friday wedding. We had to travel 2 hours to get there, so my parents had to take the day off work, and sisters the day off school. I think I might have been at uni and on holidays.

In my circles it is common to have a Friday wedding if you are wanting to save money. Although I am in australia where it seems to be easier to have a day off work if needed.

Also echoing what another Aussie said upthread... In Australia generally there is the ceremony, then a 2 - 3 hour break followed by either a lunch meal, or dinner meal. Amongst my friends and family it has been common to have the ceremony, then morning or afternoon tea on the church grounds for all who attended the ceremony, followed by the bridal party heading off for photos, and the reception for a smaller number of people a couple of hours later.
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ktanne

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Re: Is a Friday morning wedding really so unusual?
« Reply #70 on: February 17, 2014, 04:11:03 AM »
To me, a really appealing part of the original plan was the wedding luncheon. I think that would be lovely. And for that, an 11 a.m. ceremony fits perfectly.

Of course, an early afternoon wedding and reception would be fine, too. Iíve been to many, all enjoyable.

There is some inconvenience to guests no matter what you decide. Every wedding Iíve ever been to involved inconvenience to me. Regardless, Iíve loved them all.

Good luck, OP!

Yes, POD to this.  In my experience, any event is a time killer and if you're not organising it entirely yourself (and sometimes even if you are!) it will likely cause some sort of inconvenience because time & resources are finite.  You (general) weigh up whether you'll attend on the basis of how important the event is to you, compared with the inconvenience.  Naturally when the inconvenience is small (e.g. the event is held on a day of the week you don't work), this is probably a far less conscious decision.  It's only when the inconvenience increases, that you become aware of this decision making process.

As far as taking time off work, not everyone works business hours.  I would have LOVED an invite to a wedding on a Friday morning whilst I was a casual shift worker, to save me losing out on the most lucrative (weekend) shifts.  And I have to say, even now that I do work 9-5, I'd love a Friday morning wedding as I'll take any excuse to have a day off!  Admittedly, as a number of Australian's have already noted, it seems easier to take leave in Australia than in North America. 

I know a number of couples that are having (or have had) weekday weddings in order to save money - a couple of Wednesday afternoon weddings, and there is a Thursday night wedding coming up.  As far as I know, none of the guests thought the timing was rude.  Unusual, sure, but not rude.

kckgirl

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Re: Is a Friday morning wedding really so unusual?
« Reply #71 on: February 17, 2014, 08:45:51 AM »
I live in the USA and I would prefer a Friday morning wedding to a Saturday afternoon or evening wedding. I work Monday through Friday and it just isn't that hard to take off any day I want. It just depends on a person's job, and with 200 people, everyone's situation will be slightly different. I do have leave with pay, so that isn't a consideration for me. Someone who doesn't get paid if they aren't at work will have a different perspective.

When my cousin got married 1200 miles away on a Saturday, I traveled on Thursday and came home on Monday. I knew months in advance and planned my trip and vacation days to accommodate that schedule. You can't make it perfect for everybody, so stop trying, have your wonderful Friday morning wedding and lunch with those who can attend, and enjoy yourself.
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Peregrine

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Re: Is a Friday morning wedding really so unusual?
« Reply #72 on: February 17, 2014, 11:10:36 AM »
I had a Friday morning wedding myself followed by a light luncheon/appetizer reception.  I found that when I got married 12 years ago, it was much more accepted.  I was married during "Christmas break" between Christmas and New Years.  We had approximately 60 guests, 95% family.  I had just graduated from college and my husband was still a student.  We also completely paid for our own wedding.

My sister was married a couple years ago, and received much more pushback when she and her husband planned a very similar wedding with an identical guest list.  Hers was on a Saturday, but she got a lot of flack from the very same relatives that were happy to come to my modest wedding, but her modest wedding was apparently not "fancy enough".  I think the part of the problem was, that my sister was much older than I was when I got married, and had been on her own for quite a while, so the most critical relatives expected a higher level of reception from her.  She still had an afternoon luncheon, and another meal was planned for the relatives at my parent's house that evening.

I know it was incredibly frustrating for both of us, the prior weddings for older cousins had been blow out affairs paid for by my aunts and uncles with liquor and dancing, which neither of us was interested in nor could we afford without going into debt.   Those events had taken place 10 and 18 years before my sister and I got married.  It was frustrating to be compared to those receptions and found "wanting".

I often wonder at some of the statements I see here.  We advise brides and grooms to "have the party they can afford"  but then if its not fancy enough, we don't think there are enough food choices, or doesn't include elements that we think should be normal then it's "burden" to get there and the bride and groom should have planned a more elaborate reception to make it worth our time to get a present and go.  It seems to be a double standard at times.

White Lotus

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Re: Is a Friday morning wedding really so unusual?
« Reply #73 on: February 17, 2014, 11:34:07 AM »
OP, I like your 11 am wedding followed by lunch, and I don't care if it is on Friday.  As I examine my list of friends and family, it just is not that high a percentage of people who work "normal" M-F hours and would ALSO have difficulty getting that day or midday off.   The Prof might, if he had a class scheduled, but he could make part of the event. I might, if I were out of town, and lacked sufficient notice, due to logistics.  My sibs and his, and all the cousins, could juggle, except those teaching scheduled classes, barring special circumstances (lawyer in trial, surgeon with operating schedule, and like that.) Yet, except for some retired people and a couple of SAHPs, pretty much everyone we know works, and not all at upper-level jobs or businesses they own. Many, perhaps the majority of people, have a lot of flexibility.  If they don't, well, they can decline.  Nothing is going to suit everybody.  Many people work on Saturdays, anyway.  A morning wedding and a lunch sounds delightful.
It was fairly common to do a weekday morning wedding and brunch or lunch when I was young because the couple did actually leave on their honeymoon from the reception, and it was uncommon for people to live together before the wedding.  They wanted their wedding night to be at their honeymoon destination.
Go for it.  Enjoy.  Happy wedding, happy marriage.

Mikayla

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Re: Is a Friday morning wedding really so unusual?
« Reply #74 on: February 17, 2014, 11:50:15 AM »
On the second point, I don't get the day killer part, though.  But that's because I think of 2 pm weddings as cake and punch, and these don't generally last long.  People can leave by 4:30.

See, and I figure, it its a cake and punch reception, how muchmore expensive could it possibly be on a Saturday (or even Sunday) over a weekday?

This isn't what the OP is doing, but in general I can see ways it would be more expensive.  Certainly the venue would be, and possibly other vendor services.