Author Topic: Is a Friday morning wedding really so unusual?  (Read 8544 times)

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violinp

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Re: Is a Friday morning wedding really so unusual?
« Reply #75 on: February 17, 2014, 11:52:18 AM »
On the second point, I don't get the day killer part, though.  But that's because I think of 2 pm weddings as cake and punch, and these don't generally last long.  People can leave by 4:30.

See, and I figure, it its a cake and punch reception, how muchmore expensive could it possibly be on a Saturday (or even Sunday) over a weekday?

This isn't what the OP is doing, but in general I can see ways it would be more expensive.  Certainly the venue would be, and possibly other vendor services.

Exactly; many venues are hundreds of dollars more expensive on the weekend.
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Mikayla

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Re: Is a Friday morning wedding really so unusual?
« Reply #76 on: February 17, 2014, 12:00:25 PM »

I often wonder at some of the statements I see here.  We advise brides and grooms to "have the party they can afford"  but then if its not fancy enough, we don't think there are enough food choices, or doesn't include elements that we think should be normal then it's "burden" to get there and the bride and groom should have planned a more elaborate reception to make it worth our time to get a present and go.  It seems to be a double standard at times.

I don't think it's a double standard.  One thing I keep having to remind myself about is that this is a worldwide site.  For example, I know the UK does weddings differently than the US.   And clearly there are US variations, as well.  For example, there are small pockets where pot luck receptions are considered the norm!  (Operative word being small).

With OPs situation, it sounds like she's done what she can to minimize inconvenience.   After that it depends on presentation.  If a guest points out that her new workplace requires Friday morning senior staff meetings and this may be difficult, that isn't rude.  If a guest tells her she wants a Saturday evening of dining and dancing, that is incredibly rude.




DavidH

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Re: Is a Friday morning wedding really so unusual?
« Reply #77 on: February 17, 2014, 01:01:58 PM »
In my experience in the US, a Friday morning wedding is very unusual, not rude, just unusual.  I have only been to weddings on weekends and then only in the afternoon or evening.  Most people I know work in an office environment during the week, so having it on Friday would entail taking at least one day off.  Provided the OP can accept that a Friday morning wedding may limit attendance, and will not get offended if people can't make it, then there is not reason not to do it.

If I were planning on a strict budget, I'd probably go with a Friday afternoon, and then have either beer and wine only or a cash bar, to avoid the expense of an open bar and still provide the alcohol that my circle would expect at a wedding reception.  I might also look into hotels oriented towards business travelers rather than an event venue to see if they would offer a less expensive price on a weekend when they might not be as busy. 

Julsie

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Re: Is a Friday morning wedding really so unusual?
« Reply #78 on: February 17, 2014, 02:10:52 PM »
Quote
But it isn't a cake and punch reception; it's a luncheon for 200 people.

Not if it's on a Friday morning, it won't be.

Best wishes, OP.  Whatever you decide, I hope that your wedding day brings you much joy and a lifetime of happy memories.

wolfie

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Re: Is a Friday morning wedding really so unusual?
« Reply #79 on: February 17, 2014, 02:12:38 PM »
Quote
But it isn't a cake and punch reception; it's a luncheon for 200 people.

Not if it's on a Friday morning, it won't be.

Best wishes, OP.  Whatever you decide, I hope that your wedding day brings you much joy and a lifetime of happy memories.

I have been wondering that too - how many of those 200 people will show up? I know if i was the OP and I rearranged everything for these people not having them show up will be a huge kick in the gut.

Harriet Jones

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Re: Is a Friday morning wedding really so unusual?
« Reply #80 on: February 17, 2014, 02:34:49 PM »
Quote
But it isn't a cake and punch reception; it's a luncheon for 200 people.

Not if it's on a Friday morning, it won't be.

Best wishes, OP.  Whatever you decide, I hope that your wedding day brings you much joy and a lifetime of happy memories.

From the OP, it's an 11am Mass (minimum 1 hour) with a meal following.  How is that not a luncheon?

wolfie

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Re: Is a Friday morning wedding really so unusual?
« Reply #81 on: February 17, 2014, 02:43:36 PM »
Quote
But it isn't a cake and punch reception; it's a luncheon for 200 people.

Not if it's on a Friday morning, it won't be.

Best wishes, OP.  Whatever you decide, I hope that your wedding day brings you much joy and a lifetime of happy memories.

From the OP, it's an 11am Mass (minimum 1 hour) with a meal following.  How is that not a luncheon?

I think the poster was referring to the 200 people part - she doesn't think that many people will show up on a Friday morning.

Harriet Jones

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Re: Is a Friday morning wedding really so unusual?
« Reply #82 on: February 17, 2014, 02:46:40 PM »
Quote
But it isn't a cake and punch reception; it's a luncheon for 200 people.

Not if it's on a Friday morning, it won't be.

Best wishes, OP.  Whatever you decide, I hope that your wedding day brings you much joy and a lifetime of happy memories.

From the OP, it's an 11am Mass (minimum 1 hour) with a meal following.  How is that not a luncheon?

I think the poster was referring to the 200 people part - she doesn't think that many people will show up on a Friday morning.

Maybe, maybe not.  We don't really know how many people are going to show.

ladyknight1

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Re: Is a Friday morning wedding really so unusual?
« Reply #83 on: February 17, 2014, 02:48:13 PM »
I find the assumption that invited guests won't attend is a little off for an etiquette forum.

Yvaine

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Re: Is a Friday morning wedding really so unusual?
« Reply #84 on: February 17, 2014, 02:51:15 PM »
I find the assumption that invited guests won't attend is a little off for an etiquette forum.

I think some declines are inevitable for pretty much any event. It's not necessarily a rude assumption.

Outdoor Girl

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Re: Is a Friday morning wedding really so unusual?
« Reply #85 on: February 17, 2014, 02:51:30 PM »
If the OP gets a lot of declines, it allows her to either save the money or add on to the initial offerings - servers at the buffet to ensure no one takes more than their share on the first go, for example.  Adding sparkling wine for toasting, for another.  I'm not seeing a downside, here.   :)
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wolfie

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Re: Is a Friday morning wedding really so unusual?
« Reply #86 on: February 17, 2014, 02:53:29 PM »
If the OP gets a lot of declines, it allows her to either save the money or add on to the initial offerings - servers at the buffet to ensure no one takes more than their share on the first go, for example.  Adding sparkling wine for toasting, for another.  I'm not seeing a downside, here.   :)

not necessarily - if you get your declines a few weeks before the wedding (which is when most RSVP dates are) it is too late to get a cheaper hall or change most of the food. The money is pretty much spent at that point and can't be reallocated.

Mikayla

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Re: Is a Friday morning wedding really so unusual?
« Reply #87 on: February 17, 2014, 02:54:41 PM »
I find the assumption that invited guests won't attend is a little off for an etiquette forum.

Why?  Like they say, an invitation isn't a summons, and it's not rude to decline one.   

Harriet Jones

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Re: Is a Friday morning wedding really so unusual?
« Reply #88 on: February 17, 2014, 02:56:03 PM »
If the OP gets a lot of declines, it allows her to either save the money or add on to the initial offerings - servers at the buffet to ensure no one takes more than their share on the first go, for example.  Adding sparkling wine for toasting, for another.  I'm not seeing a downside, here.   :)

not necessarily - if you get your declines a few weeks before the wedding (which is when most RSVP dates are) it is too late to get a cheaper hall or change most of the food. The money is pretty much spent at that point and can't be reallocated.

I doubt the OP would be making significant changes, but I'd think the caterer would still be able to add something a couple of weeks out, if the OP wanted.

wolfie

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Re: Is a Friday morning wedding really so unusual?
« Reply #89 on: February 17, 2014, 02:57:58 PM »
If the OP gets a lot of declines, it allows her to either save the money or add on to the initial offerings - servers at the buffet to ensure no one takes more than their share on the first go, for example.  Adding sparkling wine for toasting, for another.  I'm not seeing a downside, here.   :)

not necessarily - if you get your declines a few weeks before the wedding (which is when most RSVP dates are) it is too late to get a cheaper hall or change most of the food. The money is pretty much spent at that point and can't be reallocated.

I doubt the OP would be making significant changes, but I'd think the caterer would still be able to add something a couple of weeks out, if the OP wanted.

I think it depends on the venue. For the venue I had I had to pay for hmm... I think 80 guest no matter what. I didn't invite more then 100. So if I got more declines my costs wouldn't have gone down at all - I just wouldn't have gotten as many meals as I paid for. And there was no "just add X" option at that point either. The OP would have to look at her contract.