Author Topic: Your daughter smells  (Read 12462 times)

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Harriet Jones

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Re: Your daughter smells
« Reply #75 on: February 18, 2014, 05:58:34 PM »
I'll still wet my hair, even if I'm not using shampoo that day.  My somewhat-curly hair looks terrible if i brush it when it's dry, so I need to wet it if I'm going to comb it at all.

Outdoor Girl

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Re: Your daughter smells
« Reply #76 on: February 18, 2014, 07:22:31 PM »
I have curly hair that I wash with shampoo every other day.  The other days I just wet it and give my scalp a bit of a scrub with my fingers.  I normally use conditioner but it's quite short right now so I only use a tiny bit on the bottom ends, whether I've used shampoo or not.

One day a week, if I'm not going anywhere, I try not to have a shower at all, just to give my skin and hair a break.
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Re: Your daughter smells
« Reply #77 on: February 18, 2014, 08:51:37 PM »
I Have a dirty job so I shower every day pretty much and wash my hair every other day.  I wish I could shampoo less frequently but given what i Do for a living, it's not really an option.
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HoneyBee42

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Re: Your daughter smells
« Reply #78 on: February 18, 2014, 11:59:38 PM »
POD. Our older two have to be reminded they need a shower on a daily basis, especially now they're approaching puberty. Oldest son has to be reminded to wear deodorant as well.   I hope with time it will get to the point where they will just do it automatically.
What worked for my sons (around middle school for each, though middle son is now in high school; oldest son is out on his own) was an interest in the opposite gender.  Now they each have to have their particular hygiene products (by scent).  Of course, middle son's girlfriend did comment that he's one of the best-smelling guys in the school.

I would kind of suspect something medical could be going on, because children (pre-pubescent) generally aren't all that smelly even when dirty.  (My oldest also had extremely sensitive skin as a young child, such that I would wash hands and face, and in season feet and knees, and make sure wiping was thorough after toileting because full-on cleaning would lead to nasty red rashes (and crusting ooze, and otherwise be much worse than the unwashed child condition)--and that was with using the mildest options (sans dyes and perfumes ... I was so grateful with the no perfume/no dye laundry detergent started coming out).


mrkitty

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Re: Your daughter smells
« Reply #79 on: February 19, 2014, 12:09:55 AM »
I Have a dirty job so I shower every day pretty much and wash my hair every other day.  I wish I could shampoo less frequently but given what i Do for a living, it's not really an option.

I heard washing hair every day is bad for your hair. So I stopped washing it every day, (but I still showered or bathed each day). I decreased my hair washing to once or twice a week. Then, my hair started falling out in clumps.

A couple of weeks ago, I read an article that said that you SHOULD wash your hair every day, because otherwise the oil can build up on your scalp and clog the follicles, leading to irreversible hair loss.

So now I'm back to washing my hair every day.
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MariaE

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Re: Your daughter smells
« Reply #80 on: February 19, 2014, 12:53:21 AM »
I guess it's kind of off-topic, but I get so confused when people talk about not washing their hair for several days or a week. By "not washing," do people mean they just aren't using shampoo? Or do they mean that they quite literally don't even get it wet?

I literally don't even get it wet. And I never use conditioner anyway. I heard it was bad for the environment (worse than shampoo anyway), stopped using it, and discovered I couldn't feel the difference in my hair, so never took it up again.

Of course there are exceptions - in the heat of summer I'll wash it more often, and I always wash it following a workout or if I've otherwise gotten sweaty :)
 
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Yvaine

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Re: Your daughter smells
« Reply #81 on: February 19, 2014, 06:36:23 AM »
I guess it's kind of off-topic, but I get so confused when people talk about not washing their hair for several days or a week. By "not washing," do people mean they just aren't using shampoo? Or do they mean that they quite literally don't even get it wet?

I literally don't even get it wet. And I never use conditioner anyway. I heard it was bad for the environment (worse than shampoo anyway), stopped using it, and discovered I couldn't feel the difference in my hair, so never took it up again.

Well, it might depend on hair type. Giving up conditioner would lead very quickly to an unbrushable rat's nest on my head.

MariaE

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Re: Your daughter smells
« Reply #82 on: February 19, 2014, 06:54:01 AM »
I guess it's kind of off-topic, but I get so confused when people talk about not washing their hair for several days or a week. By "not washing," do people mean they just aren't using shampoo? Or do they mean that they quite literally don't even get it wet?

I literally don't even get it wet. And I never use conditioner anyway. I heard it was bad for the environment (worse than shampoo anyway), stopped using it, and discovered I couldn't feel the difference in my hair, so never took it up again.

Well, it might depend on hair type. Giving up conditioner would lead very quickly to an unbrushable rat's nest on my head.

Oh, it totally depends on hair type! I never meant to indicate otherwise :)
 
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scotcat60

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Re: Your daughter smells
« Reply #83 on: February 19, 2014, 07:03:16 AM »
Re the frequency of hair washing. When I worked and commuted every day, I washed my hair every other day or it was greasy. Now I am retired, I can go for three or four days without washing it, although i do use a dry shampoo aroudn the third day. I also find my skin is cleaner.

Some people recommend washing the hair in washing up liquid once a month to clean off any residue from shampoo and conditioner.

Ruth Goodman on "Tudor Monastery Farm" a UK reality TV show where she and others lived as farmers in Tudor times said that combing hair with a fine tooth comb keeps it clean, as the Tudors were not into hair washing.

Piratelvr1121

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Re: Your daughter smells
« Reply #84 on: February 19, 2014, 07:20:45 AM »
POD. Our older two have to be reminded they need a shower on a daily basis, especially now they're approaching puberty. Oldest son has to be reminded to wear deodorant as well.   I hope with time it will get to the point where they will just do it automatically.
What worked for my sons (around middle school for each, though middle son is now in high school; oldest son is out on his own) was an interest in the opposite gender.  Now they each have to have their particular hygiene products (by scent).  Of course, middle son's girlfriend did comment that he's one of the best-smelling guys in the school.


Oddly the eldest has a girlfriend and we still have to remind him to bathe, though I will say he's gotten better. 
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Re: Your daughter smells
« Reply #85 on: February 19, 2014, 08:00:14 AM »
Medical conditions wouldn't explain why the child looks unkempt.

I think that this is indeed something that should be brought up with school authorities. Even if it's just because of distracted or overwhelmed parents, the child is likely to be mocked or bullied by her peers. In the case that it's actual neglect or abuse, don't rely on "if it were serious, someone else would already have done something." That may be what every other witness is thinking.
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Teenyweeny

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Re: Your daughter smells
« Reply #86 on: February 19, 2014, 08:11:38 AM »
I never understand why people say "it might be a medical issue", as if that means "so do nothing".

If a medical issue is causing noticeable problems, then it's a medical issue that's not being handled effectively. Maybe there is no effective way to handle it, but if extra support would help, why not get those wheels in motion?

Let's say Timmy is severely developmentally delayed. Now, this could be a consequence of neglect (in which case, do something), or it could be a result of a medical condition. If the parents seem overwhelmed, and Timmy doesn't seem like he's getting the care he needs, then those parents still need somebody to intervene, even though the issues are not their fault.




LeveeWoman

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Re: Your daughter smells
« Reply #87 on: February 19, 2014, 09:51:49 AM »
Medical conditions wouldn't explain why the child looks unkempt.

I think that this is indeed something that should be brought up with school authorities. Even if it's just because of distracted or overwhelmed parents, the child is likely to be mocked or bullied by her peers. In the case that it's actual neglect or abuse, don't rely on "if it were serious, someone else would already have done something." That may be what every other witness is thinking.

From djinnidream's up-date yesterday: She has two older sisters, one of whom is in my group- they are outgoing, friendly and usually dressed ok- not designer brand- but in good repair.  Mary, OTOH, is usually unkempt and well, to be honest, looks and smells homeless. Ratty clothes, unwashed, etc.

I, too, think this should be reported.


MindsEye

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Re: Your daughter smells
« Reply #88 on: February 19, 2014, 09:52:40 AM »
I never understand why people say "it might be a medical issue", as if that means "so do nothing".

Or as if it means "so that's okay then" or "so you better not complain about it...they can't help it".   

Pungent BO is pungent BO regardless of the cause, and the fact that it could be a medical issue doesn't make it any less pungent, and doesn't relieve the person/their caregivers from the need to address the issue.

As for why the child's father seemed to have no idea that his child smelled... if you are constantly exposed to a smell, you eventually stop being consciously aware of it.  So he might honestly have no idea that his child smells, because to him, she doesn't. 

(You see this all of the time with perfumes... people stop smelling their favorite because they are so used to it and drench more on so that they can smell it and are not aware that they now have so much perfume on that they are gagging everyone around them.) 

If someone consistently smells, I think that it is an act of kindness to bring this to their attention, because they might not know that they smell to other people, and if they don't know, how can they address the problem?

Lynn2000

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Re: Your daughter smells
« Reply #89 on: February 19, 2014, 10:36:17 AM »
I always take "might be a medical issue" not as "do nothing," but rather, "don't leap to abuse/neglect conclusions." Could also be another reason why it would be better to approach an authority figure about it rather than the parent directly, because a parent might feel uncomfortable talking to a peer they don't know well about their child's medical condition, especially in a semi-public place on the spot. An authority figure (teacher or principal) could organize a private conference time with explicit guarantee of confidentiality, and they generally have a socially-recognized role as overseers of child welfare.

And yeah, if the symptoms are still so noticeable, any medical intervention hasn't worked yet, but you never know what stage they might be at--maybe they are desensitized and haven't noticed, maybe they are still going to doctors to figure it out, maybe they just started a treatment last week and it hasn't kicked in yet, maybe they have been trying several different treatments and none have worked yet, etc.. So again, not "do nothing" IMO, but even more reason to make sure the proper authorities are aware and monitoring it.
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