Author Topic: Parking Over-Reaction, More informed #38, Update #63  (Read 11091 times)

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GratefulMaria

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Re: Parking Over-Reaction
« Reply #15 on: February 19, 2014, 06:40:38 PM »
Considering that they pay someone (the neighbor they lease from) *specifically* for that spot, I can completely understand the irritation.
And, for all we know, they've had someone park in it 14 times so far this month, and assumed that the friend was doing it again.

And to some extent, it's effective.  It inconvenienced you and your guest as much as he's inconvenienced and it makes sure that you try to avoid his spot in the future.

Not begrudging the irritation, but aren't we defined by how we behave even / especially when provoked?  Fifteenth time means I can block someone in?

Also, just because something is effective doesn't mean it's either the best way to handle something, or even necessary.  It sounds as though the OP and guest would avoid a spot if they knew it was someone else's, not because the-guy-whose-it-is-will-block-me-in.  Not everybody does the right thing only to avoid inconvenience.

LadyR

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Re: Parking Over-Reaction
« Reply #16 on: February 19, 2014, 09:07:11 PM »
In the neighbor's position, I would have called for a tow to have the OP's friend's car removed from my space.

In your friend's position, if I returned to find my car blocked in by an improperly parked car, I'd call for a tow to have the blocking vehicle removed.

See, that seems like an over-reaction since it was an honest mistake. It was dark, there was a lot of snow (we're in Ontario) and there was NO clear way of telling that that was someon's assigned spot and not a visitors spot like the other 5 spots beside it. I mean, we get annoyed whne people park in our spot, but blocking them in or having them towed never occur to us and our spot can't even be confused for visitor parking.

I did look in the condo rules and we're not supposed to lease our spots. So he's on shaky ground going to managemetn (though I'm assuming they usually look the other way and don't enforce the rule).


LifeOnPluto

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Re: Parking Over-Reaction
« Reply #17 on: February 19, 2014, 09:29:06 PM »
I've been in Angry Neighbor's position* and yes, its aggravating, but still-- total overreaction. Feel sorry for the guy-- if this is how he reacts to someone unwittingly taking his parking spot and apologizing for it, I can only imagine how he survives the rest of everyday life.

*ETA: When this happened to me, I also parked behind the car in question, because I had absolutely nowhere else to park. I didn't freak out and tell off the person in my space when they came to knock on my door, though. They had been similarly confused; it happens.

See, in this case it was deliberately done to cause inconvenience. There were visitors spaces available. Also, the next morning he purposely left the car there once his wife had left and the other spot was open, it seemed he wanted a confrontation (he did acknowledge he had read DH's note and it wasn't "good enough").

Jeepers, so what exactly was "good enough" for this guy? Your DH grovelling on bended knee? Flowers and a personal apology from Kevin? Financial compensation for the trauma of having someone take his spot?

Next time a situation like this happens, I'd have no hesitation in calling a tow truck to remove his car, so my friend could get his car out.

In the meantime, I agree with PPs who suggest asking the building complex to make the numbers more visible. Perhaps you could ask your landlord to approach them?

Virg

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Re: Parking Over-Reaction
« Reply #18 on: February 20, 2014, 10:53:31 AM »
dawbs wrote:

"And to some extent, it's effective.  It inconvenienced you and your guest as much as he's inconvenienced and it makes sure that you try to avoid his spot in the future."

Of course, vandalizing the car would also probably have had the same effect.  The point is that his irritation may be understandable but it doesn't excuse his actions, which were excessive and illegal.  There are legitimate ways to handle the frustration.

Virg

fountainof

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Re: Parking Over-Reaction
« Reply #19 on: February 20, 2014, 11:18:06 AM »
I have to admit I wouldn't be too polite if I were the neighbour either.  I would probably be able to not swear and throw a fit as I would have had the car towed and let the friend figure out where it went rather than illegally park my car.  I wouldn't leave a note that the car was towed either, I would just let the person figure it out on their own and hopefully they would be a little stressed out that possibly their car was stolen, etc. and that would be good lesson learned.  Just because something is an accident doesn't make it wrong and saying sorry doesn't get you off the hook.  The "accident" could have been prevented if the friend was more careful and confirmed with the OP he could park there.

I am typically a nice person but thing like people parking poorly have me see red.  If I had chosen to double park and I was towed I would be going after the person who had taken my spot (as I would have written down the license #).  Here it wouldn't be illegal to block the person in if the spot was rightfully yours (actually that is often the suggestion of many property managers to help solve the problem).
« Last Edit: February 20, 2014, 11:21:27 AM by fountainof »

MindsEye

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Re: Parking Over-Reaction
« Reply #20 on: February 20, 2014, 12:21:23 PM »
In the neighbor's position, I would have called for a tow to have the OP's friend's car removed from my space.

In your friend's position, if I returned to find my car blocked in by an improperly parked car, I'd call for a tow to have the blocking vehicle removed.

See, that seems like an over-reaction since it was an honest mistake. It was dark, there was a lot of snow (we're in Ontario) and there was NO clear way of telling that that was someon's assigned spot and not a visitors spot like the other 5 spots beside it. I mean, we get annoyed whne people park in our spot, but blocking them in or having them towed never occur to us and our spot can't even be confused for visitor parking.


I am with Mr. Tango.  If I got home to find that someone else was parked in my assigned space, I would call a tow truck to remove them.  I wouldn't bother knocking around to try to figure out who they were and ask them to move.

OP, I am sure that you are a very friendly, neighborly person... but just because you would never have a car towed out of your parking spot doesn't mean that it is rude (or an over-reaction) for your neighbor to have a car towed out of his parking spot.

Frankly, given that sounds to me like it was actually pretty easy for your DH to determine what townhouse the spot your friend parked in belonged to I am not sure that "there was NO clear way of telling that that was someon's assigned spot".  I think that your friend was responsible for making 100% sure that he was parking in a visitor's space, especially since you made a point of explaining to him where the visitor's spots were and how he had to be sure to park in one.  That is was dark and snowy really isn't much of an excuse for not double-checking. 

Twik

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Re: Parking Over-Reaction
« Reply #21 on: February 20, 2014, 12:34:55 PM »
Just because something is an accident doesn't make it wrong and saying sorry doesn't get you off the hook.  The "accident" could have been prevented if the friend was more careful and confirmed with the OP he could park there.

I am typically a nice person but thing like people parking poorly have me see red.  If I had chosen to double park and I was towed I would be going after the person who had taken my spot (as I would have written down the license #).  Here it wouldn't be illegal to block the person in if the spot was rightfully yours (actually that is often the suggestion of many property managers to help solve the problem).

What exactly would get you off the hook, if you'd made an honest mistake?

Edited because I was unwarrantedly snarky.
« Last Edit: February 20, 2014, 12:39:14 PM by Twik »
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shhh its me

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Re: Parking Over-Reaction
« Reply #22 on: February 20, 2014, 12:53:10 PM »
Just because something is an accident doesn't make it wrong and saying sorry doesn't get you off the hook.  The "accident" could have been prevented if the friend was more careful and confirmed with the OP he could park there.

I am typically a nice person but thing like people parking poorly have me see red.  If I had chosen to double park and I was towed I would be going after the person who had taken my spot (as I would have written down the license #).  Here it wouldn't be illegal to block the person in if the spot was rightfully yours (actually that is often the suggestion of many property managers to help solve the problem).

What exactly would get you off the hook, if you'd made an honest mistake? Seeing as time travel capability to go back and avoid the mistake is of limited availability right now.

There may be "heres" where it is perfectly legal and you wont get towed for blocking in a car but I personally wouldn't take the property manager's word for it.  There also may be places where its not illegal but its also reasonable to have the person blocking towed.   

This may not apply but some property managers I'm familiar with give bad advice because they are reluctant to tow cars they have the legal right to or reluctant to create a situation in which they have the legal right to tow cars.  Here on private property the police will have towed a car which has blocked someone in or is considered abandoned parked in a spot they don't have the right to use is considered the responsibility of the property owners.  In one case as an employee of the property developer(condo complex that was 1/4 completed)I couldn't talk the property management company into towing a car that had been left in guest parking for 60 days (then the VP couldn't convince them , then the property owner/developed couldn't convince them. at this point the developer is considered the 100% of condo board  ) I could hire a tow truck myself but the company managing the condo complex wouldn't.

mich3554

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Re: Parking Over-Reaction
« Reply #23 on: February 20, 2014, 01:08:12 PM »
The management where I lived last year had absolutely NO problem towing cars parked where they did not belong.  There were posted signs not to park and tow trucks regularly patrolled the parking lot looking for cars to tow.  And they did.  A coworker who lived in the building borrowed his mother's car and had not signed it in with the complex.  He parked it in a resident's spot and it got towed.  When you moved in, they told you specifically if you had a rental car or a borrowed one that you need to register it with the complex or make sure that you were parked in visitor parking.

When I had people visit, I told them exactly where they needed to park and checked to make sure that they would not be towed. 

PrettySticks

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Re: Parking Over-Reaction
« Reply #24 on: February 20, 2014, 01:09:56 PM »
Frankly, given that sounds to me like it was actually pretty easy for your DH to determine what townhouse the spot your friend parked in belonged to I am not sure that "there was NO clear way of telling that that was someon's assigned spot".  I think that your friend was responsible for making 100% sure that he was parking in a visitor's space, especially since you made a point of explaining to him where the visitor's spots were and how he had to be sure to park in one.  That is was dark and snowy really isn't much of an excuse for not double-checking.

I don't think that's quite fair - first, it was obvious to the OP's DH because he lives there. A lot of things are obvious to someone that's there every day, as opposed to a visitor.  Second, the space didn't actually "belong" to the proper townhouse anyway - her DH did actually go to that house, but it turned out that they'd rented it out, so even the part that the DH was able to figure out wasn't correct.  There were several mitigating circumstances here (snow, darkness, proximity to visitors spaces) and I think if even one hadn't been present, this wouldn't have happened.  I mean, I guess the neighbor had no way of knowing that this was a mistake and not someone blatantly disregarding the parking rules, so for that reason, I don't fault him too much for the blocking-in technique, but as soon as the DH showed up at his door apologizing, he should have accepted it and moved on.  I think those of us that live on this planet know that rule-flouters are not the ones showing up with apologies.

Anyway, even if the neighbor weren't being over-the-top, I think he's wasting a whole lot of anger energy here, because it's basically being directed toward VISITORS, i.e. folks that aren't there all the time and may never return.  So, there's a solid chance they can't absorb his helpful life lessons and use them to his (the neighbor's) benefit. 

MindsEye

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Re: Parking Over-Reaction
« Reply #25 on: February 20, 2014, 01:27:28 PM »
Frankly, given that sounds to me like it was actually pretty easy for your DH to determine what townhouse the spot your friend parked in belonged to I am not sure that "there was NO clear way of telling that that was someon's assigned spot".  I think that your friend was responsible for making 100% sure that he was parking in a visitor's space, especially since you made a point of explaining to him where the visitor's spots were and how he had to be sure to park in one.  That is was dark and snowy really isn't much of an excuse for not double-checking.

I don't think that's quite fair - first, it was obvious to the OP's DH because he lives there. A lot of things are obvious to someone that's there every day, as opposed to a visitor.  Second, the space didn't actually "belong" to the proper townhouse anyway - her DH did actually go to that house, but it turned out that they'd rented it out, so even the part that the DH was able to figure out wasn't correct.  There were several mitigating circumstances here (snow, darkness, proximity to visitors spaces) and I think if even one hadn't been present, this wouldn't have happened.  I mean, I guess the neighbor had no way of knowing that this was a mistake and not someone blatantly disregarding the parking rules, so for that reason, I don't fault him too much for the blocking-in technique, but as soon as the DH showed up at his door apologizing, he should have accepted it and moved on.  I think those of us that live on this planet know that rule-flouters are not the ones showing up with apologies.

In the OP it says that the assigned spots are marked by numbers painted on the concrete bumpers in front of the spaces.  (I assume that the visitor's spaces have no such numbers or have the word "visitor" painted on their bumpers.)  If the OP's DH was able to find the number of the house that the spot belonged to by (I assume) kicking the snow off of the bumper, then the friend should have done something similar to make sure that he was not parking in an assigned spot. 

The friend should have checked, but, for whatever reason, didn't.  "Fair" doesn't really play into it.  One could also say that it wasn't "fair" that the neighbor got home late on a cold and snowy night only to find that someone else had parked in his spot.

The fact that the actual owner of the spot had sub-let it out is kind of a red herring.  It was still an assigned spot and the friend should not have parked there.

shhh its me

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Re: Parking Over-Reaction
« Reply #26 on: February 20, 2014, 01:48:30 PM »
Frankly, given that sounds to me like it was actually pretty easy for your DH to determine what townhouse the spot your friend parked in belonged to I am not sure that "there was NO clear way of telling that that was someon's assigned spot".  I think that your friend was responsible for making 100% sure that he was parking in a visitor's space, especially since you made a point of explaining to him where the visitor's spots were and how he had to be sure to park in one.  That is was dark and snowy really isn't much of an excuse for not double-checking.

I don't think that's quite fair - first, it was obvious to the OP's DH because he lives there. A lot of things are obvious to someone that's there every day, as opposed to a visitor.  Second, the space didn't actually "belong" to the proper townhouse anyway - her DH did actually go to that house, but it turned out that they'd rented it out, so even the part that the DH was able to figure out wasn't correct.  There were several mitigating circumstances here (snow, darkness, proximity to visitors spaces) and I think if even one hadn't been present, this wouldn't have happened.  I mean, I guess the neighbor had no way of knowing that this was a mistake and not someone blatantly disregarding the parking rules, so for that reason, I don't fault him too much for the blocking-in technique, but as soon as the DH showed up at his door apologizing, he should have accepted it and moved on.  I think those of us that live on this planet know that rule-flouters are not the ones showing up with apologies.

In the OP it says that the assigned spots are marked by numbers painted on the concrete bumpers in front of the spaces.  (I assume that the visitor's spaces have no such numbers or have the word "visitor" painted on their bumpers.)  If the OP's DH was able to find the number of the house that the spot belonged to by (I assume) kicking the snow off of the bumper, then the friend should have done something similar to make sure that he was not parking in an assigned spot. 

The friend should have checked, but, for whatever reason, didn't.  "Fair" doesn't really play into it.  One could also say that it wasn't "fair" that the neighbor got home late on a cold and snowy night only to find that someone else had parked in his spot.

The fact that the actual owner of the spot had sub-let it out is kind of a red herring.  It was still an assigned spot and the friend should not have parked there.

Well I know which spots go to approximately which homes and if someone was blocking me in may spend the 40 minutes it would take to dig out enough snow to see the curb.

PrettySticks

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Re: Parking Over-Reaction
« Reply #27 on: February 20, 2014, 02:04:24 PM »

In the OP it says that the assigned spots are marked by numbers painted on the concrete bumpers in front of the spaces.  (I assume that the visitor's spaces have no such numbers or have the word "visitor" painted on their bumpers.)  If the OP's DH was able to find the number of the house that the spot belonged to by (I assume) kicking the snow off of the bumper, then the friend should have done something similar to make sure that he was not parking in an assigned spot. 

That was exactly my point.  The OP's DH knew to kick the snow off to look at the curb for the number, because he lived there.  Kevin, a visitor, did not.  I meant it was unfair to have the same expectations of residents and of visitors.

I'm thinking DH sees Kevin drive in, goes to car window says "Visitor parking is at the end of that section over there."  Watches Kevin drive to the right section.  Because this space is right next to the visitors' spaces (circumstance #1), Kevin seems to be going to the right place.  Because it's dark (circumstance #2) DH can't see precisely which space Kevin pulls into.  Because there's snow on the curb (circumstance #3), Kevin can't see the curb in that space is marked differently and because Kevin doesn't live there (circumstance #4), he'd have no way to know the visitors' spots end right there, nor that he should be kicking snow off and checking the curb. Possibly the DH should have been poor diligent in pointing that out; I'm sure he will be in the future. But had the neighbor's spot not been adjacent to the visitors's spot, there wouldn't have been any confusion.  Had it been noon, DH would likely have noticed that Kevin was driving into an illegal spot and stopped him.  Had it not been snowy, Kevin would have seen the difference in curb markings.  But these things piled up, and Kevin made a mistake.  It just... happens sometimes.  People have a way of being human.

JeanFromBNA

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Re: Parking Over-Reaction
« Reply #28 on: February 20, 2014, 02:27:01 PM »
Yes, it was an overreaction.  He should have accepted your husband's apology and moved the vehicle.  He could have (politely) admonished your husband to make sure that your guests don't park in resident spaces, which is what you should have done.

I've posted about parking problems in our area before.  The thing is, illegal parkers think, "it's just once, for a little while," and then they get upset when they are bawled out or towed because "they" only did it "once."  Well, you and the other dozen or more people that month who think that it's okay to park on private property, in marked spaces, handicapped spaces, and so on. 

I have a friend who owns a business across the street from a restaurant with which he is not affiliated.  He's put up signs warning people that he will tow illegally parked cars, but they park there any way.  He got mad at a woman who was getting back into her car illegally parked at his business.  What he said was probably not e-hell approved, but he let her leave without towing her car.  She thanked him by writing an untruthful Yelp review of his business. 

fountainof

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Re: Parking Over-Reaction
« Reply #29 on: February 20, 2014, 02:44:42 PM »
I do wonder what the neighbour is supposed to do, if towing the car or double parking is an over-reaction?  Should he take someone else's spot and just add to the problem, drive around and find a road spot and walk back to his building even if that is blocks away?  What if there are no spots should he just wait in his car all night? 

I might be more annoyed at this issue than others because when I did live in a building a neighbour's friend would take my spot and there would be no where to put my car as visitor parking was typically full and there were no side streets to park on.  In my case, it was daytime so I would kind of put my car right near the manager's office and go in and complain.  The tenant would then be phoned and they moved the car; however I knew who was doing it.  One time they did say "well it was only an hour we used your spot, you can home too early".  If my situation had occurred late at night I would have the car towed immediately, I wouldn't even wait 5 minutes.

I can see the double parking as an okay option if no one else is inconvenienced.  So if the neighbour double parked and blocked his spot and that of his wife, and other traffic could still get by I don't see the problem really.  Yeah, it wouldn't be nice to have to go home by cab and pick up your car the next day but imagine what it is like to come home after work/outing and not be able to park in your own spot.  I have no sympathy for the friend at all..

Quote
What exactly would get you off the hook, if you'd made an honest mistake?
Actually hearing the apology from the person who made the error, not the OP's DH.  I also would want some understanding of how significant an error it was as coming home and not having a parking space is a huge issue.  The OP and her DH seem to think the double parking is a big issue but the mistake that inconveniences someone is no big deal. 
« Last Edit: February 20, 2014, 02:55:38 PM by fountainof »