General Etiquette > Holidays

S/O Christmas Cards

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The thread about Christmas cards got me thinking.

Is there any etiquette rule that requires a person reciprocate in sending out cards?

I get cards from several people (friends and family both), but I've never been one to send out cards to people. I'm wondering if I'm somehow breakng some etiquette rule by choosing to not send holiday cards at all.

Most years I send cards out. Some years things get to busy and I don't send them out. Like this past Christmas things got really busy.
I do try to send a card to everyone who sent me one, but I don't automatically cut someone off my Lissy if I don't get card from them.


--- Quote from: MrTango on February 19, 2014, 02:33:34 PM ---Is there any etiquette rule that requires a person reciprocate in sending out cards?

--- End quote ---

Mmmm... nope.  You don't have to send out cards if you don't want to.  That being said, if you enjoy getting cards you might want to consider reciprocating.

YMMV of course, but if someone I send a card to doesn't send me one in return for more then 2 years running, I assume that they are no longer interested in an exchange of cards and drop them from my holiday card list.  Conversely, if someone starts to send me cards (and they are not my insurance representative or some other business that I patronize) then I will add them to my list.

I don't think there's a general rule, but some individuals have their own rules. I think I send out about 50 cards every year. I do keep track of who sends me one back, but mainly out of curiosity; that alone doesn't affect my card list for next year. I receive maybe a dozen cards each year--everyone who sends me one is on my list, but obviously that's a lot of recipients who aren't sending me cards. That's cool, some people just aren't into that.

People are added or cut from my list based on my overall relationship with them. Old friends I literally haven't heard from, in any medium, in years? I feel comfortable cutting them from my list. On the other hand, I've added in more distant relatives (like Bob, my second cousin once removed) if we've reconnected in the past year. I heard that my uncle's ex-wife was asking for a card from me, so hey! On the list she goes. Cousin who ignored me when I asked for his mailing address? Cut, because I don't want to force contact on people if they're telling me they don't want it.

I really enjoy sending the Christmas cards and want to keep it as a pleasant experience that gives me a moment for positive thoughts about each recipient. If they don't want to reciprocate with a card, that's fine, though it would be nice to hear from them in some other way once the card makes them think of me. So, maybe think about that, if you're wondering about reciprocity--they might enjoy a brief "how've you been" email inspired by their card. :)

We enjoy choosing holiday cards and sending them out.  We also enjoy receiving them.

It doesn't bother us if our cards aren't reciprocated but we may be concerned about the health of the person who didn't respond. 


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