Author Topic: Hair And Schedule  (Read 2793 times)

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Arila

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Hair And Schedule
« on: February 19, 2014, 05:57:49 PM »
I had a really really good wedding, but there were two things I would change if I could go back.

1. I would have tried to do my hair closer to my typical style. I look at those pictures and think "Who is that lady with the curly hair?" My hair is straight to a fault.

2. I would have been a bit more clear about the schedule for the evening. Rather than an exuberant send-off from all of our guests, we went from mid-party to just the HC and immediate family. The plan was never to dance the night away, and it wasn't just the usual anti-climactic of something so planned and looked forward to ending, but a real let-down. I would have preferred that we be the first ones to go.


But, I still look back very fondly on the whole thing, and got a wonderful husband and in-laws out of it! :)

Lady Snowdon

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Re: Hair And Schedule
« Reply #1 on: March 10, 2014, 09:12:29 PM »
I hear you on the hair!  At the time of my wedding, I had long straight straight hair.  The stylist spent over 2 hours curling it and pinning it into curls.  Looked very pretty, took me two days to comb all the hair gel and spray and such out!  A braid would have been better, I think. 

Mental Magpie

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Re: Hair And Schedule
« Reply #2 on: March 13, 2014, 12:47:12 PM »
That is one thing I have been insistent about.  I have very long curly hair, and I intend for it to be curly at my wedding.  I want to look like me at my wedding.
The problem with choosing the lesser of two evils is that you're still choosing evil.

Eve_Eire

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Re: Hair And Schedule
« Reply #3 on: March 14, 2014, 09:43:09 AM »
This is a problem I've been running into in bridal shops actually.  I'm trying to find a dress at the moment and the bridal shop person is always telling me to put my hair up so I can see what it will look like on the day.  When I tell them I intend to wear my hair out loose they're always aghast! "But of course you'll wear it pinned up" "it really wouldn't look right out loose with the neckline you want" I had one person insist this at me so much and then every time I was behind the curtain getting changed she would go on at my friend about how wrong I am to want my hair out loose. 

I never ever have my hair up and I want to be comfortable and look like me so I won't have my hair up on the day.  After lots of attempts at gentle persuasion to drop the subject I just had to say "Look, forget about my hair, it's not anything that needs to be decided now.  I'll pick my dress and then decide on the hair closer to the time. You need to back off."  She looked highly insulted and it may not have been the right way to say it but if I let her keep badgering me I would have ended up in tears.

HannahGrace

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Re: Hair And Schedule
« Reply #4 on: March 14, 2014, 09:58:25 AM »
This is a problem I've been running into in bridal shops actually.  I'm trying to find a dress at the moment and the bridal shop person is always telling me to put my hair up so I can see what it will look like on the day.  When I tell them I intend to wear my hair out loose they're always aghast! "But of course you'll wear it pinned up" "it really wouldn't look right out loose with the neckline you want" I had one person insist this at me so much and then every time I was behind the curtain getting changed she would go on at my friend about how wrong I am to want my hair out loose. 

I never ever have my hair up and I want to be comfortable and look like me so I won't have my hair up on the day.  After lots of attempts at gentle persuasion to drop the subject I just had to say "Look, forget about my hair, it's not anything that needs to be decided now.  I'll pick my dress and then decide on the hair closer to the time. You need to back off."  She looked highly insulted and it may not have been the right way to say it but if I let her keep badgering me I would have ended up in tears.

I haven't had anyone that insistent but I am familiar with the phenomenon.  I just said "I have no idea what I'm doing with my hair - right now I'm focused on the dress." and was able to get them off track that way.  I also ended up putting mine in a ponytail in most shops because I just got so hot in the trying-on process.  I have a dress now, still no idea what to do with my hair but I plan to ask my hair stylist what he thinks and go from there.  He's smarter about hair than I am.

camlan

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Re: Hair And Schedule
« Reply #5 on: March 14, 2014, 10:16:01 AM »
This is a problem I've been running into in bridal shops actually.  I'm trying to find a dress at the moment and the bridal shop person is always telling me to put my hair up so I can see what it will look like on the day.  When I tell them I intend to wear my hair out loose they're always aghast! "But of course you'll wear it pinned up" "it really wouldn't look right out loose with the neckline you want" I had one person insist this at me so much and then every time I was behind the curtain getting changed she would go on at my friend about how wrong I am to want my hair out loose. 

I never ever have my hair up and I want to be comfortable and look like me so I won't have my hair up on the day.  After lots of attempts at gentle persuasion to drop the subject I just had to say "Look, forget about my hair, it's not anything that needs to be decided now.  I'll pick my dress and then decide on the hair closer to the time. You need to back off."  She looked highly insulted and it may not have been the right way to say it but if I let her keep badgering me I would have ended up in tears.

This should go in a manual for sales people on "How to Lose the Sale!"

Really, how hard would it have been for her to say something like, "Oh, that will be fresh and different! You have such lovely hair, I think this dress would go well with your hair down."

As for how you handled it--I've been in similar situations with salespeople who would. not. stop. pushing their agenda. My feeling is that if you've tried politely to shut them down a couple of times, then they are going to get what's coming to them. Not that I'm rude, but I definitely get firm. And I stop asking and start telling. "You need to stop telling me that. I'm not changing my mind," isn't rude. It can be said rudely, of course, but the words themselves are a statement of fact and not, in and of themselves, rude.
Nothing is impossible, the word itself says, “I’m possible!” –Audrey Hepburn


HGolightly

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Re: Hair And Schedule
« Reply #6 on: March 18, 2014, 12:01:36 PM »
I dutifully grew my hair out for the wedding and did the practice do three days before my wedding. The next day my friend/ hair dresser had the same epiphany and called me. We exchanged hellos then I said we're cutting it all off aren't we? She cleared an opening for me and as a result I look like me in our pictures. I let my mom do what she wanted with 90% of the wedding but had my hair my way.

Wintergreen

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Re: Hair And Schedule
« Reply #7 on: March 19, 2014, 07:27:44 AM »
This is a problem I've been running into in bridal shops actually.  I'm trying to find a dress at the moment and the bridal shop person is always telling me to put my hair up so I can see what it will look like on the day.  When I tell them I intend to wear my hair out loose they're always aghast! "But of course you'll wear it pinned up" "it really wouldn't look right out loose with the neckline you want" I had one person insist this at me so much and then every time I was behind the curtain getting changed she would go on at my friend about how wrong I am to want my hair out loose. 

I never ever have my hair up and I want to be comfortable and look like me so I won't have my hair up on the day.  After lots of attempts at gentle persuasion to drop the subject I just had to say "Look, forget about my hair, it's not anything that needs to be decided now.  I'll pick my dress and then decide on the hair closer to the time. You need to back off."  She looked highly insulted and it may not have been the right way to say it but if I let her keep badgering me I would have ended up in tears.

This might come from the fact that wearing hair open with evening dress is against dress code (not sure if this has cultural differences, but around here, this is the fact, hair that is long enough to be tied up must be tied up). So the sales person might equate wedding dress with evening dress thus thinking that open hair would violate the dress code. Couple determines the time and formality of their wedding, so wedding dress might or might not be considered evening dress (but if the groom wears tails, then bride's clothing should probably match it, thus wedding dress would be considered evening dress). However, it's not really salesperson's job to be rude about it. They might give advice, and I think they should give advice if there is possibility that wardrobe malfunction might be offensive. But badgering the bride about her hair is not right.

daen

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Re: Hair And Schedule
« Reply #8 on: March 19, 2014, 08:45:27 AM »
This is a problem I've been running into in bridal shops actually.  I'm trying to find a dress at the moment and the bridal shop person is always telling me to put my hair up so I can see what it will look like on the day.  When I tell them I intend to wear my hair out loose they're always aghast! "But of course you'll wear it pinned up" "it really wouldn't look right out loose with the neckline you want" I had one person insist this at me so much and then every time I was behind the curtain getting changed she would go on at my friend about how wrong I am to want my hair out loose. 

I never ever have my hair up and I want to be comfortable and look like me so I won't have my hair up on the day.  After lots of attempts at gentle persuasion to drop the subject I just had to say "Look, forget about my hair, it's not anything that needs to be decided now.  I'll pick my dress and then decide on the hair closer to the time. You need to back off."  She looked highly insulted and it may not have been the right way to say it but if I let her keep badgering me I would have ended up in tears.

This might come from the fact that wearing hair open with evening dress is against dress code (not sure if this has cultural differences, but around here, this is the fact, hair that is long enough to be tied up must be tied up). So the sales person might equate wedding dress with evening dress thus thinking that open hair would violate the dress code. Couple determines the time and formality of their wedding, so wedding dress might or might not be considered evening dress (but if the groom wears tails, then bride's clothing should probably match it, thus wedding dress would be considered evening dress). However, it's not really salesperson's job to be rude about it. They might give advice, and I think they should give advice if there is possibility that wardrobe malfunction might be offensive. But badgering the bride about her hair is not right.

I find the bolded quite intriguing. I have never come across a dress code involving hair  that is that stringent outside a workplace health and safety situation.

I am familiar with various cultural/religious dress codes that require long hair to be up in every occasion, religious dress codes regarding clothing, and regional expectations that are largely kept but occasionally bypassed without more than a sideways look... but the combination of a specific type of hairstyle being mandatory with a specific type of clothing is new to me.

May I ask where (generally) this is, and how it is enforced?

Wintergreen

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Re: Hair And Schedule
« Reply #9 on: March 19, 2014, 04:22:58 PM »
This is a problem I've been running into in bridal shops actually.  I'm trying to find a dress at the moment and the bridal shop person is always telling me to put my hair up so I can see what it will look like on the day.  When I tell them I intend to wear my hair out loose they're always aghast! "But of course you'll wear it pinned up" "it really wouldn't look right out loose with the neckline you want" I had one person insist this at me so much and then every time I was behind the curtain getting changed she would go on at my friend about how wrong I am to want my hair out loose. 

I never ever have my hair up and I want to be comfortable and look like me so I won't have my hair up on the day.  After lots of attempts at gentle persuasion to drop the subject I just had to say "Look, forget about my hair, it's not anything that needs to be decided now.  I'll pick my dress and then decide on the hair closer to the time. You need to back off."  She looked highly insulted and it may not have been the right way to say it but if I let her keep badgering me I would have ended up in tears.

This might come from the fact that wearing hair open with evening dress is against dress code (not sure if this has cultural differences, but around here, this is the fact, hair that is long enough to be tied up must be tied up). So the sales person might equate wedding dress with evening dress thus thinking that open hair would violate the dress code. Couple determines the time and formality of their wedding, so wedding dress might or might not be considered evening dress (but if the groom wears tails, then bride's clothing should probably match it, thus wedding dress would be considered evening dress). However, it's not really salesperson's job to be rude about it. They might give advice, and I think they should give advice if there is possibility that wardrobe malfunction might be offensive. But badgering the bride about her hair is not right.

I find the bolded quite intriguing. I have never come across a dress code involving hair  that is that stringent outside a workplace health and safety situation.

I am familiar with various cultural/religious dress codes that require long hair to be up in every occasion, religious dress codes regarding clothing, and regional expectations that are largely kept but occasionally bypassed without more than a sideways look... but the combination of a specific type of hairstyle being mandatory with a specific type of clothing is new to me.

May I ask where (generally) this is, and how it is enforced?

I'm from Northern Europe, so this might well be a cultural thing. However, it is not a religious code, but rather more related to the look and dignity of the ensemble. With the same rules as what kind of shoes one should wear with evening dress etc. This, as most of non-religious dress codes, is not enforced with anything more than maybe the famous (dress) etiquette advisers "tut-tuting" after president's independence day reception (very official white tie thing) that "again there were people with open hair and lacking proper hairdo".

So it is not something one would really get trouble for.

GlitterIsMyDrug

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Re: Hair And Schedule
« Reply #10 on: March 19, 2014, 04:36:53 PM »
When I was a sophomore in high school I went to homecoming with a date (first time!). My mom offered to let me get my hair professionally done and my grandma convinced me to get an up-do. All the girls had them and my hair had grown out to a nice length, so I should do an up-do.

After 2 hours in a chair (I have a lot of hair) I had my elaborate up-do. 45 minutes into the dance, I was in the bathroom unpinning because it hurt my head. My date was very helpful in getting all the pins out.

I am not an up-do girl. There are up-do girls in the world. I say good for them. But I am not one of them. I haven't figured out exactly how I'll want my hair at my wedding. I'm think shorter with loose curls slightly pulled back from my face. Something vaguely retro-ish. I have a lovely hairstylist who will be working her magic. But yeah, yup and super fancy, just not me.

Eve_Eire

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Re: Hair And Schedule
« Reply #11 on: March 21, 2014, 11:29:47 AM »
This might come from the fact that wearing hair open with evening dress is against dress code (not sure if this has cultural differences, but around here, this is the fact, hair that is long enough to be tied up must be tied up). So the sales person might equate wedding dress with evening dress thus thinking that open hair would violate the dress code. Couple determines the time and formality of their wedding, so wedding dress might or might not be considered evening dress (but if the groom wears tails, then bride's clothing should probably match it, thus wedding dress would be considered evening dress). However, it's not really salesperson's job to be rude about it. They might give advice, and I think they should give advice if there is possibility that wardrobe malfunction might be offensive. But badgering the bride about her hair is not right.

I'm in Ireland and haven't heard of any rule about hair having to be up - I just did some googling there also and haven't found anything so I suspect this is particular to your culture.  Now that I think about it though, the pushier of the two sales ladies wasn't Irish, I don't know where she was from but perhaps she was from a country like yours with this hair code.

Nibsey

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Re: Hair And Schedule
« Reply #12 on: March 21, 2014, 12:02:36 PM »
This might come from the fact that wearing hair open with evening dress is against dress code (not sure if this has cultural differences, but around here, this is the fact, hair that is long enough to be tied up must be tied up). So the sales person might equate wedding dress with evening dress thus thinking that open hair would violate the dress code. Couple determines the time and formality of their wedding, so wedding dress might or might not be considered evening dress (but if the groom wears tails, then bride's clothing should probably match it, thus wedding dress would be considered evening dress). However, it's not really salesperson's job to be rude about it. They might give advice, and I think they should give advice if there is possibility that wardrobe malfunction might be offensive. But badgering the bride about her hair is not right.

I'm in Ireland and haven't heard of any rule about hair having to be up - I just did some googling there also and haven't found anything so I suspect this is particular to your culture.  Now that I think about it though, the pushier of the two sales ladies wasn't Irish, I don't know where she was from but perhaps she was from a country like yours with this hair code.

I'm from Ireland too and while i haven't seen a rule I have noticed that for big events and black tie it's expected of you. I have never ever put my hair up cause it just doesn't suit me and for alot of the big events like my communion, debs, work black tie events I have gotten snarky comments about it like 'oh was your hairdresser busy' or 'were you in a rush'. So now my hair is a bob and no more snarky comments  ;D
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Wintergreen

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Re: Hair And Schedule
« Reply #13 on: March 25, 2014, 09:28:32 AM »
This might come from the fact that wearing hair open with evening dress is against dress code (not sure if this has cultural differences, but around here, this is the fact, hair that is long enough to be tied up must be tied up). So the sales person might equate wedding dress with evening dress thus thinking that open hair would violate the dress code. Couple determines the time and formality of their wedding, so wedding dress might or might not be considered evening dress (but if the groom wears tails, then bride's clothing should probably match it, thus wedding dress would be considered evening dress). However, it's not really salesperson's job to be rude about it. They might give advice, and I think they should give advice if there is possibility that wardrobe malfunction might be offensive. But badgering the bride about her hair is not right.

I'm in Ireland and haven't heard of any rule about hair having to be up - I just did some googling there also and haven't found anything so I suspect this is particular to your culture.  Now that I think about it though, the pushier of the two sales ladies wasn't Irish, I don't know where she was from but perhaps she was from a country like yours with this hair code.

I'm from Ireland too and while i haven't seen a rule I have noticed that for big events and black tie it's expected of you. I have never ever put my hair up cause it just doesn't suit me and for alot of the big events like my communion, debs, work black tie events I have gotten snarky comments about it like 'oh was your hairdresser busy' or 'were you in a rush'. So now my hair is a bob and no more snarky comments  ;D

(Sorry for the OP about the offtopic!) It seems that there is too the expectation of tied hair around your area. I wonder, if the trouble really is that dress codes are not really taught anywhere. So it might really be the case that what used to be known rules are not that anymore to all. So for some these seem to be clear as ice, and some have never heard of them. I know I mostly encountered this in my university when someone had put up a guide what to wear in academic black tie events or formal guild dinners. I don't remember school tackling this matter. Parents guided of course in many dress code matters, but black tie events are not that common so we probably never encountered one when I was living home.