My cousin, Dinah, was recently married for the second time. Her sister, Carol, organized a "stagette". She invited all of my aunts and female cousins and a few close friends. There was wine and a tonne of appetizer-type food. It started at 7pm and went late.
Now, this was a second wedding for Dinah. But, most of the guests still wanted to bring gifts. Because we love her and we wanted to celebrate her and honour her finding her true love. So, Carol organized a small gift game that people could participate in if they wanted. Basically everyone picked a time of day and guessed what Dinah would be doing at that time and bought her something that she'd need then. So, for example, I guess that Dinah goes for coffee at 8am so I bought her a Starbucks card. Or Dinah has a terrible meeting at 3pm so here's an airplane-size bottle of whiskey for your desk. Fun, stupid things that cost about $5-$10 each.
There were 2 keys, I think, to the gift game. #1. It was 100% completely optional. And, I know that not everyone participated. But, I honestly can't tell you who did and who didn't. There was just no pressure at all. #2. Carol didn't bring up the game until a whole bunch of people started asking about gifts. Then, I think one of my aunts actually gave her the idea. So, Carol sent out one email to everyone. I don't remember the exact words, but it said something along the lines of, "A few of you are asking about gifts. Please just come visit with us and celebrate Dinah - that's all she wants. However, if you are interested in bringing her something very small we're going to play a game and here's how it works. Let me know if you'd like to participate and I'll mark down which time you choose. I can't wait to see everyone."