Who should make the reservation?

[Nice Gal]

My hubs and I are celebrating our 20th anniversary and his mother wanted to take the whole family to dinner to celebrate and she was paying.  She asked us where we wanted to go and what time. We told her.  I thought she was making the reservations and she thought I was.   

So I just apologized for the miscommunication and we got over it.   But now I'm wondering, just who should have made that reservation? I don't think I should have.  I think since she was paying and inviting people to the party/dinner, she should have.   

What do you all think?   

[Margo]

since she was treating you, I'd expect her to make the reservations, unless she specifically asked you to do it on her behalf.

[Harriet Jones]

Since she was the one who extended the invitation, I would expect your MIL to make the reservations, unless she said otherwise.

[shhh its me]

   She should have but I can see the logic of "GOH" , who is close family makes the reservation." just because its for you and you can then ask question or make some decisions ie  We have 8 or 6 available not 7. So I can i understand how this convention may have devolved.

[Hmmmmm]

Since she was the one who extended the invitation, I would expect your MIL to make the reservations, unless she said otherwise.

I agree, but I could understand how she would assume you would since you were familiar with the restaurant.

[peaches]

Since she was the one who extended the invitation, I would expect your MIL to make the reservations, unless she said otherwise.

Me, too.

Although, I'm an obsessive planner, so I might have called the restaurant the day of the party to check on the reservation (and upon hearing that there wasn't one, made it at that time).

[Nice Gal]

Ok, I know I'm not nuts now.  Thanks.

[Thipu1]

No, you're not nuts. 

Unless arrangements are specifically worked out in advance,  the host is the person who makes the reservation. 

[TootsNYC]

I'm on the bandwagon. If she had wanted you to make the reservations, she should have explicitly said so.

[lowspark]

POD. She invited you. She's hosting the party. Why would the host expect a guest, any guest, to be in charge of making the reservations unless specifically asked?

Sounds like you handled it well, especially since it is pretty minor in the grand scheme of things. And next time you'll know to ask, "would you like me to make the reservation?" Anyway, that's how I'd ask, as a show of respect and appreciation for her treating everyone. Again, that's for the future as it wouldn't have occurred to me to ask in your original situation.

Just curious, when you arrived at the restaurant with no reservation, were they able to accommodate your group?

[Lynn2000]

Yeah, from the info you relate, I would have assumed she was making the reservation and any other arrangements, such as conveying to all the invited guests where to go. If that didn't get done either, that could've been a mess. 

[Nice Gal]

We were a party of 8 and the restaurant was able to accommodate us, but we did have to wait over an hour for a table. I could tell MIL was miffed about waiting. Even though my husband and I ordered and paid for drinks and appetizers for everyone in our party, while waiting at the bar.

[LtPowers]

We were a party of 8 and the restaurant was able to accommodate us, but we did have to wait over an hour for a table. I could tell MIL was miffed about waiting. Even though my husband and I ordered and paid for drinks and appetizers for everyone in our party, while waiting at the bar.

Well, of course she was miffed.  She screwed up, failed to confirm that you were going to make the reservations, and thus finds it convenient to blame you for the error.  Not everyone is like that, but some people are.  She'll never admit she made a mistake, and you and your husband were more than generous in helping her fund her hospitality.


Powers  &8^]

[lmyrs]

First, I think you're right that your MIL should have made the reservation.

I can see if this happened to me with either my MIL or my mom, the conversation would have gone:
MIL: "We want to take you out. Where would like to go?"
me: "Restaurant B"
MIL: "That sounds really nice. I'll see you then."
me: "They're pretty busy. Do you want to call to make a reservation or do you just want me to do it?"
MIL: "Oh, you go ahead."

Of course, the reason that this would happen is because my MIL and my mom are both terrible at reservations and just don't think of them and I do so I always, always make the reservations for our family stuff regardless of what it's for.

So, I'm a bad example. But, it may be worth asking in the future.