No. Which just leaves me so confused considering you know we were planning things and I was helping them with ideas and stuff!
I may be misinterpreting here, but this makes me think that your main issue is that you are having a hard time dealing with the cancelation of the ceremony. And that is completely understandable. You have invested not only time and effort into helping them, but you have also invested emotion. It sounds like you were entrenched in the planning of it and getting excited about it. In other words, you had a vested interest in seeing it through.
And now, they've gone and canceled it without so much as asking your opinion!
Now, obviously, it's totally their decision and it make sense that they made it without your input. But that doesn't lessen the emotional letdown you are now feeling.
So the fact that it was a commitment ceremony as opposed to a wedding might be a red herring here. If this were a couple who were planning a wedding, with you helping at the same level, and then they decided to cancel the wedding and just live together, you might be feeling the same exact way.
I wondered about this too. I've had the experience of putting a lot of effort and ideas into helping someone with something, only to have them completely change their mind and scrap the whole thing. It's hard not to take that a bit personally, and wonder if maybe you somehow failed. But I think in 99% of cases it's really because of totally different factors influencing their decision.
My friend Amy and I used to have a lot of fun researching baby names for her hypothetical children. This was after she was married but before she was pregnant. I really like names so I was bringing all my resources and knowledge to bear on it. Then when she actually got pregnant, I think it kind of became less fun and more real, plus, you know, she felt she ought to consult her DH for his opinion
and he turned out to be surprisingly stubborn. So she and I didn't really talk about it anymore, and by the time I heard about the name contenders they were already at the "shortlist going to the hospital" stage, so I didn't feel like constructive criticism of them was welcome. And actually I don't particularly like the names she chose for her kids. But, when you pull back and look at the big picture, I'm being rather silly, because of course
she and her DH are going to make the best decision for them
, and there's no reason in the world why any of my ideas should be given weight just for being my ideas. It was just disappointing, because at the time I was like, "Yeah, this is something I know about, that I'm good at, that I can help her with!" and then that turned out to not be the case in the end.