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Consumerist: How not to suck at planning your wedding

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artk2002:
Consumerist.org runs an occasional series of "How Not To Suck At ...". They're taking on weddings in a multi-part series. Here's a link to the first part

How To Not Suck At Planning Your Wedding, Part 1: The Most Expensive Steps

nuit93:
I really wish cash bars wouldn't be suggested as a way to save money.  You aren't saving anything, you're just passing along costs to your guests.

katycoo:

--- Quote from: nuit93 on February 24, 2014, 04:56:41 PM ---I really wish cash bars wouldn't be suggested as a way to save money.  You aren't saving anything, you're just passing along costs to your guests.

--- End quote ---

You're providing options.  If the alternative is no alcohol at all, I'm more than happy to buy my own.  I'm only ever annoyed if I don't have prior notice as sometimes its not easy to access money at the venue.

IMO its only rude if no beverages AT ALL are provided by the HC.

Peregrine:
While I absolutely agree with you Nuit, I wonder if the prevalence of cash bars has something to do with the overwhelming feeling that "it just isn't a celebration without the booze"  or further, the idea that guests are entitled to an all out reception extravaganza to repay their generosity in showing up with a gift.

While on E-hell, we always say have the party you can afford, I have seen examples even here, of people who would think the bridal couple were inconsiderate or rude if every possible dietary need/preference wasn't met, the wedding isn't happening on the right day/time/place, there was no booze or dancing or music and on and on. 

I still remember trying to plan my own wedding over a decade ago, and the push/pull that resorted when I married into a family that abstained from alcohol for religious reasons, and my own extended family that wondered if it would be worth coming if there wasn't booze and dancing (my immediate family were all teetotalers as well).  I think my parents eventually had a phone call with the aunts and uncles who were complaining about the lack of a bar and having a rather candid conversation with them about the fact that my husband and I (both college students at the time) were paying for the entire wedding ourselves and that it was our prerogative not to serve alcohol, and that if the relatives didn't like it, they were free to stay home, but if they came they weren't to complain.

Mikayla:

--- Quote from: Peregrine on February 24, 2014, 05:47:07 PM ---
While on E-hell, we always say have the party you can afford, I have seen examples even here, of people who would think the bridal couple were inconsiderate or rude if every possible dietary need/preference wasn't met, the wedding isn't happening on the right day/time/place, there was no booze or dancing or music and on and on. 

--- End quote ---

I totally agree as far as you take this.  But there's definitely a flip side, and whoever wrote this article tossed out some pretty atrocious ideas about couples throwing parties they can't afford. 

The food suggestions were the worst, particularly pot luck.  Maybe there are places in the world where this is accepted practice, and I know there are some small pockets in the US where families traditionally do this.  But c'mon.  In standard US weddings, this is a horrible idea. 

I also thought it was bizarre to suggest a dessert and cocktail reception without clarifying what times of day this would be.  If the couple wants people hanging around for a typical Saturday evening reception, complete with dancing , this is flat out rude, and the suggestion to "warn your guests ahead of time" is even worse.   Obviously, if it's a 2 hour cocktail reception, that's different, but there are still those who'd say it's rude, unless it ends up being something like 4-6.  Even then, who wants dessert with cocktails?

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