Author Topic: Consumerist: How not to suck at planning your wedding  (Read 9106 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Psychopoesie

  • Member
  • **
  • Posts: 915
Re: Consumerist: How not to suck at planning your wedding
« Reply #75 on: March 14, 2014, 07:25:25 AM »
^^Yeah, Australia is a pretty big place - so I'm guessing there's a fair bit of variation.  :)

Oh Joy

  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 1370
Re: Consumerist: How not to suck at planning your wedding
« Reply #76 on: March 14, 2014, 08:45:39 AM »
2. I don't believe that utilising a service which is available is akin to a complaint about what is offered.
3. I think the contract is overthinking things.  The hosts are not responsbile for drnk sold at the bar.  Each purchase of a drink is a separate contract with the paying guest.

To be fair, this is a bit of a different situation than the one I'm thinking of.  It's one thing for guests to wander away from the reception and find an open bar within the same facility from which they can order drinks.  It's another thing entirely for the hosts to set up a bar within the reception venue and simply charge their guests for access to it.

I seem to see this completely opposite to you!.  Giving the impression that you've LEFT the function in search of booze seems horribly rude IMO.

Oh, yes, rude for the guests.  The former situation is rude for the hosts.

And that is where I disgaree.  I don't see why it is rude for the hosts to allow guests access to drinks which are external to what is provided, so long as they do provide basic beverages for the event.

I agree.  I know the reasoning is different, but the example I keep recalling is an organization that can't provide alcohol at their events, but makes sure that the banquet room is either near the hotel bar or that the hotel sets up a cash bar in the common area nearby.

purple

  • Member
  • **
  • Posts: 523
Re: Consumerist: How not to suck at planning your wedding
« Reply #77 on: March 15, 2014, 01:04:49 AM »


I don't have a cash register at home or need to hire a bartender.  :) It's only bigger parties like weddings, 18ths or 21sts held at formal venues that paying for alcoholic beverages at an actual bar comes up. YMMV.

Still guests do sometimes pay for their own drinks. For example, at casual dinners with some friends, if I don't BYO some wine, there won't be any because they don't drink. As a host, I make sure I have enough wine and beer when people come over for dinner. Also a couple of soft drink choices. If they want something else, they'll bring it.

Reading this made me think that liquor is something seen in Australia as something you are responsible for providing for yourself. It would be pretty rare that anyone would go to even the most formal dinner party expecting that the hosts would serve spirits with dinner. Beer and wine are the standard alcoholic drinks that are served to guests.

Maybe that's why we find the concept of buying spirits at a wedding perfectly acceptable - because they are usually something we provide for ourselves in all (or almost all) social situations.

US here: If spirits are served at someone's house, they're generally served with appetizers or after dessert (my family offers at both times, but that may not be the norm). The host/hostess provides all booze, including the spirits.

Yes, I've understaood that from my reading here. I guess therein lies the difference in attitude towards having what you guys would call a partial cash bar, and we would call normal.

Maybe depends on your circle, or your actual location? Because I'm in Australia too and I wouldn't consider that drinks (spirits, beer, soft drinks or anything else) are something that guests provide for themselves.  I've never thrown a party or hosted an event where I've ever expected guests to provide anything for themselves.  I see a cash bar or a 'partial cash bar' as rude and I think most of my friends and family would too.

Must be - I've never ever at any event seen spirits provided as a matter of course, and never at a wedding.

Shame I never met you in time to invite you to mine then  :)

CakeEater

  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 2750
Re: Consumerist: How not to suck at planning your wedding
« Reply #78 on: March 15, 2014, 01:10:00 AM »


I don't have a cash register at home or need to hire a bartender.  :) It's only bigger parties like weddings, 18ths or 21sts held at formal venues that paying for alcoholic beverages at an actual bar comes up. YMMV.

Still guests do sometimes pay for their own drinks. For example, at casual dinners with some friends, if I don't BYO some wine, there won't be any because they don't drink. As a host, I make sure I have enough wine and beer when people come over for dinner. Also a couple of soft drink choices. If they want something else, they'll bring it.

Reading this made me think that liquor is something seen in Australia as something you are responsible for providing for yourself. It would be pretty rare that anyone would go to even the most formal dinner party expecting that the hosts would serve spirits with dinner. Beer and wine are the standard alcoholic drinks that are served to guests.

Maybe that's why we find the concept of buying spirits at a wedding perfectly acceptable - because they are usually something we provide for ourselves in all (or almost all) social situations.

US here: If spirits are served at someone's house, they're generally served with appetizers or after dessert (my family offers at both times, but that may not be the norm). The host/hostess provides all booze, including the spirits.

Yes, I've understaood that from my reading here. I guess therein lies the difference in attitude towards having what you guys would call a partial cash bar, and we would call normal.

Maybe depends on your circle, or your actual location? Because I'm in Australia too and I wouldn't consider that drinks (spirits, beer, soft drinks or anything else) are something that guests provide for themselves.  I've never thrown a party or hosted an event where I've ever expected guests to provide anything for themselves.  I see a cash bar or a 'partial cash bar' as rude and I think most of my friends and family would too.

Must be - I've never ever at any event seen spirits provided as a matter of course, and never at a wedding.

Shame I never met you in time to invite you to mine then  :)

Ha! Yes, that would have been nice. :) I wouldn't have gotten sloshing drunk just for fun, either, being a good ehellion.

lilfox

  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 1843
Re: Consumerist: How not to suck at planning your wedding
« Reply #79 on: March 16, 2014, 06:47:04 PM »
We had an open bar at our wedding, set up as a private bar with a dedicated bartender.  The rules of the establishment were that the bar opened 30 min before dinner was served and closed 1 hour before the venue closed. All told, that was about 4 hours. The bartender had a menu of maybe 5 specialty cocktails, plus various beers, wine, and standard liquors.

I thought that was about right for us and our guests. Later I found out that a few guests hit the main bar in the main part of the building (we were off to one side) before the ceremony and then again in the 30 min from when the ceremony ended to when our private bar opened. I guess it's good they had that option, but I couldn't help thinking that they would rather leave the area and pay for drinks than spend 30 min of booze-less mingling til they could get free drinks.  And that's a pretty depressing thought.

The only dry wedding (dry for religious reasons, also no dancing) I've been to, most of the wedding party and their friends snuck out back where they'd stashed a cooler full of alcohol.

iridaceae

  • Boring in real life as well
  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 3885
Re: Consumerist: How not to suck at planning your wedding
« Reply #80 on: March 17, 2014, 06:19:32 AM »


And, Arggh! Does anyone really eat cake, anyway? Of course they do if it tastes any good. Buy one from a supermarket like they suggest and gurarantee that people won't eat it!

At the wedding I went to in September the bride apparently got a lot of compliments on the cake (I had to leave before it got served) - it was a supermarket cake.

Thipu1

  • Super Hero!
  • ****
  • Posts: 6855
Re: Consumerist: How not to suck at planning your wedding
« Reply #81 on: March 17, 2014, 11:18:48 AM »


And, Arggh! Does anyone really eat cake, anyway? Of course they do if it tastes any good. Buy one from a supermarket like they suggest and gurarantee that people won't eat it!

At the wedding I went to in September the bride apparently got a lot of compliments on the cake (I had to leave before it got served) - it was a supermarket cake.

At our Wedding reception (1983), we had a simple sheet cake provided by the restaurant.  They got their baked goods from a local bakery and their cakes were delicious.  Our guests certainly ate that cake and it was big enough to send pieces home with those who wanted them.

Of course, the locally made ice cream served with it didn't hurt.  ???

Dazi

  • like the flower
  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 4266
Re: Consumerist: How not to suck at planning your wedding
« Reply #82 on: March 17, 2014, 11:58:22 AM »


And, Arggh! Does anyone really eat cake, anyway? Of course they do if it tastes any good. Buy one from a supermarket like they suggest and gurarantee that people won't eat it!

At the wedding I went to in September the bride apparently got a lot of compliments on the cake (I had to leave before it got served) - it was a supermarket cake.

At our Wedding reception (1983), we had a simple sheet cake provided by the restaurant.  They got their baked goods from a local bakery and their cakes were delicious.  Our guests certainly ate that cake and it was big enough to send pieces home with those who wanted them.

Of course, the locally made ice cream served with it didn't hurt.  ???

I got a three tiered wedding cake from Publix for under $150.   It was delicious and I got a ton of compliments on it.   No one could believe I bought it from a grocery store. There was very little cake left and no cake left after I told the waitstaff to help themselves (we only had about 50 people and that cake should have feed a lot more than that),  so I don't think it's fair to say that a grocery store is necessarily subpar.  I should add that the cake decorator transported it to the reception site and set everything up.   

I did go to several local bakers and not only were they charging crazy amounts,  their cake samples were not all that great. I must have tried half a dozen places.  I got dry, I got tasteless, I got crumbly,  I got gross bacon-fed knave frosting.  The only one that was decent wanted to charge me over  $1000 for a nearly identical cake that I bought from a grocery store.


ETA: this was about a decade ago.   Current prices seem to be about double that now.
« Last Edit: March 17, 2014, 12:33:17 PM by Dazi »
Meditate. Live purely. Quiet the mind. Do your work with mastery. Like the moon, come out from behind the clouds! Shine. ---Gautama Buddah





Nonsequitur

  • Member
  • **
  • Posts: 283
Re: Consumerist: How not to suck at planning your wedding
« Reply #83 on: March 18, 2014, 04:13:33 PM »
When I lived in the South, the Publix  in my neighborhood had very good cakes. I knew an acquaintance who had a very upscale wedding, but when approached about shopping for cakes, she said she was going to have a Publix cake. She said: "It will taste good, everybody will like it, and it's one more thing I won't have to worry about."

Eeep!

  • Member
  • **
  • Posts: 869
Re: Consumerist: How not to suck at planning your wedding
« Reply #84 on: March 18, 2014, 05:37:04 PM »
I don't think they make wedding cakes, but I personally think Costco cakes are waaaay better than some of the fancy bakery cakes I've had.
"Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind." - Dr. Seuss

CakeEater

  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 2750
Re: Consumerist: How not to suck at planning your wedding
« Reply #85 on: March 18, 2014, 05:50:43 PM »
All right, all right! I surrender to the weight of popular opinion.  ;D

Lots of people will eat supermarket cake.

Eeep!

  • Member
  • **
  • Posts: 869
Re: Consumerist: How not to suck at planning your wedding
« Reply #86 on: March 18, 2014, 05:54:34 PM »
All right, all right! I surrender to the weight of popular opinion.  ;D

Lots of people will eat supermarket cake.

Yes, but we aren't official CakeEaters sooo.....  ;D
"Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind." - Dr. Seuss

CakeEater

  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 2750
Re: Consumerist: How not to suck at planning your wedding
« Reply #87 on: March 18, 2014, 07:12:28 PM »
All right, all right! I surrender to the weight of popular opinion.  ;D

Lots of people will eat supermarket cake.

Yes, but we aren't official CakeEaters sooo.....  ;D

That's right - I thought my obvious credentials would be so well resepcted. Ahh well...  ;)

LtPowers

  • Member
  • **
  • Posts: 351
Re: Consumerist: How not to suck at planning your wedding
« Reply #88 on: March 22, 2014, 10:59:02 AM »
I disagree with your analogy.  Exclusive means not available to everyone.  A cash bar IS available to everyone, and they can choose whether or not to partake.

IMO it is more akin to someone bringing their own liquor to your dinner party because they prefer to drink scotch but know you only serve beer and wine.  I wouldn't say "No, you can't drink that because I haven't provided it" - because I don't care what they drink, so long as they have a good time at my party.  But I also don't feel obligated to cater to every preference.

Would you ask your guest to pay to sit a table closer to the head table at a reception?  Remember, it's not exclusive because anyone can pay for the privilege!  Or, perhaps, you'd offer cold sandwiches to all guests, as well as filet mignon to anyone who wanted to pay extra?  Or charge guests for access to the dance floor?

I agree that your proposed scenario is akin, but we disagree on how astoundingly rude it is.  "Your hospitality is insufficient, so I decided to provide some of my own!"  Really, this is extremely rude (of the guest; of course it's gracious for the host to overlook the slight).


Powers  &8^]

CakeEater

  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 2750
Re: Consumerist: How not to suck at planning your wedding
« Reply #89 on: March 22, 2014, 09:35:55 PM »
I disagree with your analogy.  Exclusive means not available to everyone.  A cash bar IS available to everyone, and they can choose whether or not to partake.

IMO it is more akin to someone bringing their own liquor to your dinner party because they prefer to drink scotch but know you only serve beer and wine.  I wouldn't say "No, you can't drink that because I haven't provided it" - because I don't care what they drink, so long as they have a good time at my party.  But I also don't feel obligated to cater to every preference.

Would you ask your guest to pay to sit a table closer to the head table at a reception?  Remember, it's not exclusive because anyone can pay for the privilege!  Or, perhaps, you'd offer cold sandwiches to all guests, as well as filet mignon to anyone who wanted to pay extra?  Or charge guests for access to the dance floor?

I agree that your proposed scenario is akin, but we disagree on how astoundingly rude it is.  "Your hospitality is insufficient, so I decided to provide some of my own!"  Really, this is extremely rude (of the guest; of course it's gracious for the host to overlook the slight).


Powers  &8^]

It's really looked at more as follows:

I can't possibly provide every possible combination of drinks that my all my guests will want to drink. It's prohibitively expensive, and will result in a lot of undrunk drinks.

So I'll provide perfectly adequate refreshments, that many people will partake of, and if anyone wants anything else, they are welcome to provide it themselves, then they get exactly what they would prefer to drink.

It's really not seen as a tier above.

It's not the same as food, because pouring a drink/bringing a drink in a cooler to a party is so much easier than cooking a whole different meal.