Author Topic: Giving away centerpieces - would this be rude?  (Read 1453 times)

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jmarvellous

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Re: Giving away centerpieces - would this be rude?
« Reply #15 on: April 23, 2014, 06:30:12 PM »
I'll join the crowd saying I'm not a big fan of assigning centerpieces to special people.

I'd love to know I was one of your special people. I love the look of a milk glass centerpiece at a wedding--I've seen gorgeous photos of it. But there's no way I'm putting a milk glass vase with silk flowers out in my apartment (it just wouldn't match my decor) ... so your gift would be wasted on me. I'd have to regift it or throw it away or donate it, depending on my travel plans/storage capability, and I'd be really sad to do so, knowing it was special to you.

I think it'd be fine to sequester 1 or 2 for yourself to take home, and to have the MC make an announcement/enlist people to spread the word that people are welcome to take them home.

(Maybe it's just me, but I have a feeling that if we'd assigned tables, many of our most "special" people would've been at the same table, leading to substantial awkwardness as they went over to others' tables to claim their prizes.)

purple

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Re: Giving away centerpieces - would this be rude?
« Reply #16 on: April 24, 2014, 01:09:38 AM »
I think you are overthinking this whole centrepiece thing and to be blunt, you are probably over-valuing the centrepieces as well.

The centrepieces might be special to you after the day and maybe to your mother or something, but honestly, the centrepieces from someone else's wedding just wouldn't mean that much to me.  I think the best way is to let it be known by the venue that you want one or two put aside for youself and that guests who might want one can have the others on a first-come, first-served basis.


Katana_Geldar

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Re: Giving away centerpieces - would this be rude?
« Reply #17 on: April 24, 2014, 01:32:55 AM »
We gave the centre pieces away at our wedding, to our parents and grandparents. They were candles in glass cases with some stones I. Them. We kept one but were wondering how to get rid of the rest. If you ahem that many I don't see why you can't just have anyone who wants one to take it home with them.

CakeEater

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Re: Giving away centerpieces - would this be rude?
« Reply #18 on: April 24, 2014, 02:13:14 AM »
To be honest, if I was assigned a vase and silk roses, I might keep the vase, depending what it looked like, but the roses would go in the bin after a few days. And the whole thing might go in the bin in the hotel room if I didn't think it would make it home. I woudn't want broken glass all through my suitcase.

And if one was mailed to me afterwards, I wouldn't know what to think. That's a lot of effort and expense.

Margo

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Re: Giving away centerpieces - would this be rude?
« Reply #19 on: April 24, 2014, 06:31:25 AM »
I agree with PPs that it would not be rude to give the centrepieces to guests, but it may not be appreciated - perhaps particularly so with silk rather than fresh flowers, as since they are long lasting, people may feel that they are obligated to keep it / have it on show.

I would keep one or two for yourselves, and then let people know that they are welcome to take one at the end of the evening - that way, they will go with people who want them, there is no feeling of obligation, and if there is someone who you particularly want to be able to have one, and who you are *sure* will want one, you can always ask the venue to set aside one more than you want to keep for yourself, and then ask that person on the day whether hey wanted one, and were able to take one, and if the answers are yes and no respectively, you can give them your 'spare'.

My sister was married 2 years ago - they had origami flowers on the tables, and borrowed my collection of blue glass to hold them. I kept a few of the flowers but mainly because I liked how they looked in my blue bottles, and they were a nice reminder of the evening we spent before the wedding with the entire family sitting around the table making paper flowers. 

If you want to give a special thank you to people who have travelled, i would suggest that you simply tell them so - in the speeches,but definitely in your thank you letters.

I have to admit that I would find it really odd to have a centrepiece mailed to me after the wedding - and potentially quite uncomfortable - it would feel like you have gone to so much trouble and expense that the centrepiece must be really imporant to you, which would then make be feel guilty if I didn't keep it and put it on display.

mime

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Re: Giving away centerpieces - would this be rude?
« Reply #20 on: April 24, 2014, 11:36:08 AM »
I think the approach I'd take is to privately offer the centerpieces to the people you want to have them, rather than any type of announcement that shows the rest of the guests that they aren't one of the special few.

I do agree with PPs, though, that there will be people who just have neither desire nor need for another vase and silk flowers, so some will say "thank you, no".

At my wedding, the centerpieces were circular mirror tiles with a few small votive cups with floating candles in them. I thought they were very pretty, but didn't keep one (no use for it). My mom gave them to the church after the wedding. At the recption, though, DD's aunt and cousin came over to us, asking for boxes for the mirror tiles so they could take the centerpieces home with them. I guess she took it upon herself to assign them to different guests.  :o


kudeebee

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Re: Giving away centerpieces - would this be rude?
« Reply #21 on: April 24, 2014, 11:36:47 PM »
I would check with the moms and grandmas to see if they want a centerpiece.  If they do, make sure that you have someone grab the required number (yours and theirs) towards the end of the evening and have them set aside (put in a marked box).  If some of the guests take the others or ask if they can have one, tell them yes.  Whatever is left, put in another box and donate to goodwill or sell on Craigs list or something similar.  Or have someone take them to a nursing home--many of the residents would love to have pretty flowers in their rooms.

I would even be careful about asking people at the wedding if they want the centerpieces.  You could put them on the spot--they might feel like they have to say yes and take one.

I had this happen to me once at a wedding.  I was given the centerpiece already packed in a box.  It was handed to me with a big smile on the person's face and a "we know you want to have one of the centerpieces to use in your home as a memory of the wedding."  Uh, no I really don't--I didn't even take the favors (mine and my families) that were on the tables.  It put me in an awkward position.  I took it home and it immediately went into the donation bin as it wasn't our taste or decorating style.  It was perfect for the wedding colors and location and fit the couple's style; just didn't fit ours.