Wedding Bliss and Blues > Paper Trail

response cards aren't traditional but are they expected?

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Alli8098:

--- Quote from: camlan on February 27, 2014, 10:30:25 AM ---
(Snip)
The absence of response cards in an invitation is not rude. (Actually, including a response card tends towards rudeness, as you are implying that your guest doesn't know enough to send a response. But that ship has sailed, long ago.)


--- End quote ---

I don't think it's rude, but I also don't think it's rude to include them.  I included handmade post cards that were already addressed and stamped.  I honestly thought I was helping my guests out, all they had to do was check a box and drop it in the mail.  At this time not everyone was on Facebook and I didn't personally have email addresses and cell phones for absolutely every guest.  I took great time and expense to make them and cover postage. 

Moving on, again I don't think it's rude not to include them.  In this day and age there is more than "two" ways to RSVP for an event.

shhh its me:
  IT's not rude but it confused my mother when she received an invitation from a distant relation without one.  She thought maybe they just wanted this to be an announcement and  she was not  really invited.   *they had run out of little envelopes and left it to someone to tell her verbally "they ran out of those little envelopes" someone forgot*

lowspark:

--- Quote from: MummySweet on February 27, 2014, 10:17:31 AM ---I don't think it's rude at all, but I do think the lack of response card may be a hinderance to receiving an RSVP. (Who am I kidding, they are nearly impossible to receive anyway.)   

--- End quote ---

This.
Not including one is tantamount to saying, don't bother replying.

I just received an invitation for an event which normally needs a reply and there was no response card*. I thought, "hmmm... did they forget to include it? Do they figure I'm not coming so they just didn't bother with one? (I'm not and the person pretty much knows that.) Do they just figure they'll count on a certain number and not mess with replies?

Yeah, all that went through my head, even though I've hung out on eHell long enough to know they are not required. Why? Well, because I know that not everyone is on eHell and that the current norm is to include a response card if you want people to reply. Period.

So yeah, I wouldn't say it's rude not to include one, but since it's standard nowadays it's expected and rather than cause confusion and misunderstanding, I would.

*Turns out there was a sticker on the back of the invitation with RSVP and a phone number and email addr. I think the host forgot all about response cards and added that on as an afterthought.

Harriet Jones:
I think most people probably expect them anymore.  If you don't include them, you should make it fairly easy for someone to figure out how to RSVP -- like something printed on the invitation or other enclosure.  The return address on the outer envelopes can get mangled sometimes.

Lynn2000:

--- Quote from: Harriet Jones on February 27, 2014, 03:22:55 PM ---I think most people probably expect them anymore.  If you don't include them, you should make it fairly easy for someone to figure out how to RSVP -- like something printed on the invitation or other enclosure.  The return address on the outer envelopes can get mangled sometimes.

--- End quote ---

POD. I wouldn't consider them rude but instead rather expect them for a formal event. Though if people would rather guests RSVP by phone or email or whatever, that's fine, they should just note that on the invitation somehow. If there's no mention of how or when to RSVP, a lot of people might assume that means no RSVP is necessary--like it's a come-and-go open house or something. Depends on the event, although sometimes even with a wedding people "invite" the whole congregation to witness it in the church via an announcement in the bulletin--I wouldn't expect to RSVP to that, I'd just show up if I wanted to.

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