Goal for Today: Ignore Nasty Co-Worker

[barefoot_girl]

OK, having read all the updates, I would like to apologise and change my mind. I think you were ABSOLUTELY right to contact the Dean about Muffy's behaviour, because this woman sounds utterly appalling and (to my mind) someone who really isn't appropriate to be around children. In fact, i find her whole pattern of behaviour around Lulu to be really disturbing and worrying, and i think that someone higher up the school needs to be talking to Lulu and possibly Lulu's parents as well.

[Piratelvr1121]

Just pod'ing those who find Muffy creepy!

[Auntie Mame]

Oh that poor kid! Muffy is beyond appalling.  I am so glad Lulu has so many people supporting her.

From here on out, hen it comes to Muffy, document every interaction, save every email and keep your eyes peeled.  I will bet my favorite pair of stilettos that the Dean is building a case to fire her.  This would not be "tattling" or "stirring the pot", this would be proetcting kids from Muffy.

[GreenEyedHawk]

Sounds like Muffy has no business working in a school.

[whatsanenigma]

Oh that poor kid! Muffy is beyond appalling.  I am so glad Lulu has so many people supporting her.

From here on out, hen it comes to Muffy, document every interaction, save every email and keep your eyes peeled.  I will bet my favorite pair of stilettos that the Dean is building a case to fire her.  This would not be "tattling" or "stirring the pot", this would be proetcting kids from Muffy.

I agree! And I found this sentence in the OP's update to be very encouraging:

Interestingly enough, the dean already knew about the conversation in the music hall because another teacher overheard it and told the dean about it. 

Obviously the atmosphere at this school is such that the dean is open to hearing these things and will take action, if another random teacher overheard and took the problem to the dean.  (Why that teacher didn't directly intervene at the time is another question, but, again, hindsight is 20/20.)

I'm wondering if there might even be more to this story, not in the sense that Lulu did anything wrong, but that maybe she has a better working relationship with Babs than Muffy would like.  (It sounds like Lulu plays a violin-don't the violinists have a closer relationship with the conductor than those who play other instruments, especially the first chair? I don't know much about orchestras, especially not at this level.) 

Maybe Muffy expected that the students would get up in arms about the departure of Perry, and when the expected protest was not forthcoming, she decided to take it out on someone and Lulu just happened to look good. Maybe she even overheard Lulu saying something nice about Babs and somehow is taking it personally.  Who knows? Muffy seems to just have some serious problems and poor Lulu is just caught in her wrath for no fault of Lulu's and no way she can fix it without help-which it sounds like she has, from the OP and other adults at the school.

I also feel sorry for Babs-she's going to lose good orchestra members if this keeps up.  And it's going to be more difficult for her to pull students out of class for a few moments for fully legitimate reasons, if Muffy loses the credibility needed to do it on her behalf (which it sounds like she might, regarding all students, not just Lulu) and teachers just refuse to allow it at all.

I'm glad the dean and the other teachers are on top of it and I hope the story of Muffy eventually  has cause to find its way to the professional darwinism thread!

[whatsanenigma]

One other thought here: Does Perry know about all this?*  It sounds like he still needs to watch out for Muffy, who might try to get hired at the school where he is now if she gets fired from this one-or at least try to volunteer or something.  And if Perry and the staff there don't know about the fact that her obsession with Perry is continuing, there could be some real problems.

*I know Perry knew about it while he was the director at OP's school, but he might think her behavior stopped when he left.

[GreenEyedHawk]

I also think it's ridiculous that Muffy seems to think Perry should have taken her with him when he went to his new school....since when does hiring someone mean you're hiring them and all their subordinates??  If I took another job in a different shop, I wouldn't be expecting to bring my assistant along...they hired me, not both of us.

[artk2002]

I also think it's ridiculous that Muffy seems to think Perry should have taken her with him when he went to his new school....since when does hiring someone mean you're hiring them and all their subordinates??  If I took another job in a different shop, I wouldn't be expecting to bring my assistant along...they hired me, not both of us.

I wonder if Perry didn't deliberately avoid taking Muffy with him. From OP's description it sounds like she was obsessing on him to an extent. If I were Perry, I'd want to get away from that.

[TootsNYC]

My thought also, Art!

And that's why I disagree with this:

One other thought here: Does Perry know about all this?*  It sounds like he still needs to watch out for Muffy, who might try to get hired at the school where he is now if she gets fired from this one-or at least try to volunteer or something.  And if Perry and the staff there don't know about the fact that her obsession with Perry is continuing, there could be some real problems.

*I know Perry knew about it while he was the director at OP's school, but he might think her behavior stopped when he left.

I wouldn't be taking any of this to Perry--he's out of the picture, and the last thing he needs is for someone to drag him back in. He can deal w/ any "Muffy trying to get hired at the school where he is now" if it ever happens.

Until then, the guy deserves his peace.

[whatsanenigma]

My thought also, Art!

And that's why I disagree with this:

One other thought here: Does Perry know about all this?*  It sounds like he still needs to watch out for Muffy, who might try to get hired at the school where he is now if she gets fired from this one-or at least try to volunteer or something.  And if Perry and the staff there don't know about the fact that her obsession with Perry is continuing, there could be some real problems.

*I know Perry knew about it while he was the director at OP's school, but he might think her behavior stopped when he left.

I wouldn't be taking any of this to Perry--he's out of the picture, and the last thing he needs is for someone to drag him back in. He can deal w/ any "Muffy trying to get hired at the school where he is now" if it ever happens.

Until then, the guy deserves his peace.

Should the administration at the other school be notified at least, I wonder.

[LeveeWoman]

I also think it's ridiculous that Muffy seems to think Perry should have taken her with him when he went to his new school....since when does hiring someone mean you're hiring them and all their subordinates??  If I took another job in a different shop, I wouldn't be expecting to bring my assistant along...they hired me, not both of us.

I wonder if Perry didn't deliberately avoid taking Muffy with him. From OP's description it sounds like she was obsessing on him to an extent. If I were Perry, I'd want to get away from that.

Like the citizens of Tokyo fleeing Godzilla!

[TootsNYC]

My thought also, Art!

And that's why I disagree with this:

One other thought here: Does Perry know about all this?*  It sounds like he still needs to watch out for Muffy, who might try to get hired at the school where he is now if she gets fired from this one-or at least try to volunteer or something.  And if Perry and the staff there don't know about the fact that her obsession with Perry is continuing, there could be some real problems.

*I know Perry knew about it while he was the director at OP's school, but he might think her behavior stopped when he left.

I wouldn't be taking any of this to Perry--he's out of the picture, and the last thing he needs is for someone to drag him back in. He can deal w/ any "Muffy trying to get hired at the school where he is now" if it ever happens.

Until then, the guy deserves his peace.

Should the administration at the other school be notified at least, I wonder.

Why on earth should they be? This has absolutely nothing to do with them.

[JeanFromBNA]

Why on earth should they be? This has absolutely nothing to do with them.

Lulu's parents, OTOH, need to know.  If she were my daughter, I would be livid and making a big deal out of this.

[Queen of Clubs]

Lulu's parents, OTOH, need to know.  If she were my daughter, I would be livid and making a big deal out of this.

I agree with this.  Sheesh, poor Lulu!

[whatsanenigma]

My thought also, Art!

And that's why I disagree with this:

One other thought here: Does Perry know about all this?*  It sounds like he still needs to watch out for Muffy, who might try to get hired at the school where he is now if she gets fired from this one-or at least try to volunteer or something.  And if Perry and the staff there don't know about the fact that her obsession with Perry is continuing, there could be some real problems.

*I know Perry knew about it while he was the director at OP's school, but he might think her behavior stopped when he left.

I wouldn't be taking any of this to Perry--he's out of the picture, and the last thing he needs is for someone to drag him back in. He can deal w/ any "Muffy trying to get hired at the school where he is now" if it ever happens.

Until then, the guy deserves his peace.

Should the administration at the other school be notified at least, I wonder.

Why on earth should they be? This has absolutely nothing to do with them.

Well, honestly, I think that if I were working somewhere and a co-worker was this obsessed with me, and then I left and she was still obsessing, being mad at me that I didn't take her with me, and harassing students for no reason and not getting along with the new person in my position....well, I don't want to jump to any conclusions but I think I would want to know about it so I could make extra sure my doors were locked at night, maybe is a good way to say it. 

I am just thinking that maybe Perry needs to know about this so he can make his own choices about what might be good for him to do for his own well being, KWIM? And the reason I mentioned the administration of where he works now is that if anything inappropriate is going to happen, it might happen at the school or in some way regarding the school.

It's just a thought and maybe not at all necessary, but I thought I would put it out there, because...well, people are strange and strange things happen.  And I am sure that Perry has seen a lot more strangeness from Muffy than we have or even OP has-or, at least, the specific character of it.