Wedding Bliss and Blues > Par-Tay!

How do I avoid being the special snowflake?

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LadyStormwing:
My dear fiancée and I are getting married in September, and my MsOH and bridesmaids have already approached me about the bachelorette. (We do things early around here.) I've asked that we keep it low-key; I'm a little beyond the days of going out and getting trashed; I'd like to keep things classy. To that end, we've talked about an authentic Japanese tea ceremony, visiting the bath house/hot tubs, hibachi, and a spa night. One of my bridesmaids though, can be a bit on the wild side and is already talking about sashes, anatomically correct cakes, etc.

With me having so much input on the night already, how can I gently discourage her from any of that? (Frankly, I'd be mortified! :o)

PastryGoddess:
I think when you hear her making those comments, you let her know immediately that's not something you're interested in doing AT ALL. 

If she doesn't get the hint, then you may need to have a private come to deity talk with her using words with small syllables so she's not confused

NyaChan:
You could also tell one close friend in the wedding party/planning group that you absolutely don't want that for the party and ask them to advocate for you.  I'd put it in a "I'd be happy with whatever you guys want to do, except I'm absolutely uncomfortable with x, y, z." 

HannahGrace:

--- Quote from: NyaChan on March 03, 2014, 11:13:03 PM ---You could also tell one close friend in the wedding party/planning group that you absolutely don't want that for the party and ask them to advocate for you.  I'd put it in a "I'd be happy with whatever you guys want to do, except I'm absolutely uncomfortable with x, y, z."

--- End quote ---

Absolutely.  I've been that friend who was a bridesmaid and dissuaded the other bridesmaids from doing something that I knew the bride would hate.  Tell them neither you nor your future wife are into that kind of thing.

Oh Joy:
I would make sure to be clear when you mention it to her - in whatever context - that you don't mean that you don't want it in a way that it would be funny if they did it, but in a way that it would really make you sad.  I think sometimes people misinterpret protests.

Best wishes!

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