Author Topic: Stop helping me! (Share your stories)  (Read 64518 times)

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JustEstelle

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Re: Stop helping me! (Share your stories)
« Reply #165 on: March 11, 2014, 01:57:05 AM »


Doesn't any woman or child that goes in to the ER with bruises/broken bones not directly attributable to something like a car accident get asked that question.



No.  I broke my left wrist from tripping over the cat and falling.  DH took me to the ER and I explained to them what happened.  I did not get asked if I was safe at home. 

Katana_Geldar

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Re: Stop helping me! (Share your stories)
« Reply #166 on: March 11, 2014, 02:21:59 AM »
This thread has me thinking about pie, we make small chicken pies, beef pies or shepherds pies here and haven't for a while.

Bethalize

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Re: Stop helping me! (Share your stories)
« Reply #167 on: March 11, 2014, 04:21:39 AM »
Meat pies should be decorated. Fruit pies shouldn't be decorated.

That's one of those bits of received wisdom that has disappeared over the last 40 years. *sigh*

Katana_Geldar

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Re: Stop helping me! (Share your stories)
« Reply #168 on: March 11, 2014, 04:27:03 AM »
I think fruit pies should have sugar on top, easier to tell that way.

Free Range Hippy Chick

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Re: Stop helping me! (Share your stories)
« Reply #169 on: March 11, 2014, 05:46:07 AM »
Meat pies should be decorated. Fruit pies shouldn't be decorated.

That's one of those bits of received wisdom that has disappeared over the last 40 years. *sigh*

I've never heard that one! And if anything, my mother did it the other way around - desserts were decorated, main course wasn't. I think too that she tended to say 'pie' for savoury and 'tart' for sweet, although that also introduces the question of whether there's pastry only on top, or underneath as well.

For me, shepherd's pie doesn't come into the discussion because it isn't made with pastry at all, it's topped with mashed potato, but I've met someone whose shepherd's pie was basically lamb mince topped with pastry. Is cottage pie specific to the UK? As far as I'm concerned it's the same as shepherd's pie (potato topping) but beef mince rather than lamb.

Note to self: if taking pie to anything, add label.

123sandy

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Re: Stop helping me! (Share your stories)
« Reply #170 on: March 11, 2014, 06:14:02 AM »

[/quote]

I've never heard that one! And if anything, my mother did it the other way around - desserts were decorated, main course wasn't. I think too that she tended to say 'pie' for savoury and 'tart' for sweet, although that also introduces the question of whether there's pastry only on top, or underneath as well.

For me, shepherd's pie doesn't come into the discussion because it isn't made with pastry at all, it's topped with mashed potato, but I've met someone whose shepherd's pie was basically lamb mince topped with pastry. Is cottage pie specific to the UK? As far as I'm concerned it's the same as shepherd's pie (potato topping) but beef mince rather than lamb.

Note to self: if taking pie to anything, add label.
[/quote]

I was taught the same about shepherds pie and cottage pie.

laud_shy_girl

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Re: Stop helping me! (Share your stories)
« Reply #171 on: March 11, 2014, 06:15:53 AM »
I think with Pie 'sweet or not' it is advisable to label it, otherwise people just wont know what it is until they tuck in.

You really don't want to start eating a pie only to realise that it's apple or rhubarb and in fact you hate apple/rhubarb, or worse are allergic to it.

As far as decorating, if I make a chicken pie I put little pastry hens on top. If it's an apple pie I put a pastry apple, although dancing pastry rhubarb might confuse somewhat.

lilfox the trick to stopping fresh potatoes from mushing is to squeeze out as much water as you can before cooking. I use a muslin and DH to do that bit, I also use a greater, although I have an attachment for my food processor. To save my hands I use the universal attachment known as DH. :D  I may be stealing the idea of freezing the potatoes though.

As for "Stop helping me" when DH and I are tidying he will pick up something that is mine (a peace of paper for eg) and try and hand it to me. doesn't matter what I am doing, he wants me to take it from him.

'Why of course I will take that important document that must be dealt with "right this second" while I am elbow deep in dish water."
Why he can't just put it in the pile of things on the dresser that I will go through when I have a few minuets (which I pointed out before he even started to help as the 'if you don't know pile') and do something else like, Oh I don't know... pick up toys? chuck a load in the washer? vacuum? you know the things that are actually useful.

In fact his entire "help laud tidy" seems to be "bring all the things to laud!"

edit because I can spell my own name honest.

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iridaceae

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Re: Stop helping me! (Share your stories)
« Reply #172 on: March 11, 2014, 06:41:16 AM »
Quote
I hope you don't feel badly about that.  How were you supposed to know?  You`re not a mind-reader.  If I saw a pie, and nobody told me otherwise, I'd presume it was a dessert item.


Really?  That's I interesting to me.  Are you American?  Do you have a much bigger tradition of sweet pies than savoury?  I'm British, and I'd find a savoury pie as likely as sweet.

Pies are almost always sweet here (Dean Winchester's pie lust is definitely for sweet pies)-  if someone was talking about a savory pie here in the US and was American I would think they came from an area that was mainly settled by people from the UK and it stayed a tradition there or that they were Anglophiles.   Or they found an Irish Pub in the neighborhood.

Free Range Hippy Chick

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Re: Stop helping me! (Share your stories)
« Reply #173 on: March 11, 2014, 07:22:27 AM »
Just in passing, there are few phrases as terrifying to a parent as the cry from knee level of 'I helping!'

Followed a month or two later by 'I can do it mine own self!'

Morticia

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Re: Stop helping me! (Share your stories)
« Reply #174 on: March 11, 2014, 08:37:56 AM »
...

As for "Stop helping me" when DH and I are tidying he will pick up something that is mine (a peace of paper for eg) and try and hand it to me. doesn't matter what I am doing, he wants me to take it from him.

'Why of course I will take that important document that must be dealt with "right this second" while I am elbow deep in dish water."
Why he can't just put it in the pile of things on the dresser that I will go through when I have a few minuets (which I pointed out before he even started to help as the 'if you don't know pile') and do something else like, Oh I don't know... pick up toys? chuck a load in the washer? vacuum? you know the things that are actually useful.

In fact his entire "help laud tidy" seems to be "bring all the things to laud!"

edit because I can spell my own name honest.

This happens to me all the time. I still remember being baffled by my Dad trying to hand me my purse while my first arm is going into my coat sleeve. DH and DS have also done this to me. I have no idea why this is supposed to be helpful, or what thought process brings this on.
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Coralreef

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Re: Stop helping me! (Share your stories)
« Reply #175 on: March 11, 2014, 08:53:56 AM »
Just in passing, there are few phrases as terrifying to a parent as the cry from knee level of 'I helping!'

Followed a month or two later by 'I can do it mine own self!'

You forgot when older child tells younger child : "I have a GOOD idea!"  Mom better be wearing running shoes  ;)


[/right

acicularis

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Re: Stop helping me! (Share your stories)
« Reply #176 on: March 11, 2014, 09:14:33 AM »
I collect stamps.   A former girlfriend licked all of my mint stamps and stuck them to album pages because she was helping me while I was at work.

As a fellow stamp collector, I winced at reading that.

acicularis

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Re: Stop helping me! (Share your stories)
« Reply #177 on: March 11, 2014, 10:53:18 AM »
My oldest daughter is in a wheelchair, and people are always wanting to "help" us. It's nice that they want to help, really it is. But so often, the help that they give is not terribly helpful. I can't believe how many people try to help by just grabbing without asking. Except in the case of an emergency, it's not OK to grab someone's wheelchair and just start pushing!

Like the time we were leaving the grocery store, and an employee suddenly grabbed her wheelchair and started pushing her toward the exit. Her two year old sister started crying and trying to get out of the seat of the shopping cart because she saw some stranger taking her sister away. I told him to please stop, so his solution (again without asking) was to grab the shopping cart instead. The two year old then started screaming because Strange Scary Guy Who Tried to Steal Her Sister was now taking her away from Mommy!

I ended up having to carry my now frantic two year old and let my "helper" push the cart. This took longer and was harder than my usual method of pushing the wheelchair while pulling the cart behind me. It also made us much more conspicuous than necessary. Sometimes I get tired of being the center of attention, and would just like to be able to go about my business without everyone noticing. I realize we may have looked like we needed help, but you ASK how you can help, you don't just GRAB.

Then there's my brother's wedding. Again, I realize I looked like I needed help after the ceremony. In addition to my daughter being in a wheelchair,  I was massively pregnant.  Anyway, someone associated with the church decided I needed help and would not leave me alone. She saw me opening a side door and insisted "You can't go out that way!" I realize why she thought so, as there were a couple steps leading out. But the chair was very light, and the rear wheels small enough that we carefully bumped her down steps all the time. I had gone down those very steps the other day after the rehearsal.

I tried to explain that no, we were fine and didn't need help. She would not be dissuaded and insisted on taking us to the elevator. "No, I really don't want to take the elevator," I tried to explain. But she wouldn't listen. I foolishly thought if I just let her show me where the elevator was she'd leave me alone. But no, she took us right to the elevator. Insisted on getting on the elevator with us. And apparently intended to take us to my car, because she then asked "Where are you parked?" I gritted my teeth and said "I tried to tell you, I'm not going to my car. I was going to the front of the church to see the bride and groom come out." We were now downhill and behind the church, and lucky me, she wasn't finished helping me. I almost got away, but she enlisted someone else's help. I had made it most of the way, and was pushing the chair up a small incline, when this someone else grabbed the footrest and nearly broke it trying to pull the chair up the rest of the way. It was at this point I said "Please stop helping me!"

Another time I was hoisting her wheelchair into the car, and someone lurched forward into my space without warning. It scared the crap out of me, I was afraid I was going to hit him with the chair, and I tensed up and really hurt my back. "I was trying to help you," he explained when I asked him what the heck he was doing. Why he thought I needed help when I had already lifted the chair up, I'll never know.

There's the minor annoyance of people who try to help by holding a door open for us, but can't seem to open it wide enough, or position themselves in such a way that I can't get in without rolling over their feet. Or the people who see me pushing the door open with my butt (which I know must look strange, but it works!) and suddenly pull the door wide open and throw me off balance.

Her wheelchair used to have pelvic straps to keep her hips back. People who didn't know what they were would often helpfully move them out of the way just as I was putting her into the chair. It was the oddest thing, the way they'd just suddenly leap forward out of nowhere and move the straps I had only moments ago positioned correctly. "Please put those back," I'd say, and be answered with an injured "I was just trying to help."

And then there's the people who try to help by getting in my way as I'm trying to put her in her chair. I'm not really sure what they're doing, if they think an extra set of hands are needed, or if they think I'm going to drop her or something. But it drives me nuts! And just a couple weeks ago, after some xrays, I had someone keep moving her chair as I was getting ready to put her in!

Whew. As you can see, lots of pet peeves here.  ;D  Anyway, I guess the take away message  is "If you see someone in a wheelchair, or someone pushing a wheelchair, ask how you can help, don't just lurch forward or start grabbing stuff!"
« Last Edit: March 11, 2014, 11:14:06 AM by acicularis »

Slartibartfast

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Re: Stop helping me! (Share your stories)
« Reply #178 on: March 11, 2014, 10:58:21 AM »
A friend's seven-year-old son just got his first wheelchair - she's relieved it's got wheels that automatically lock unless HE wants to be pushed.  Apparently people see a kid in a wheelchair and just randomly walk up and start pushing on a regular basis!

Ms_Cellany

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Re: Stop helping me! (Share your stories)
« Reply #179 on: March 11, 2014, 11:14:51 AM »
The Sweetie and I have a phrase for situations like all of these: "Stop helping!"

It works very well.
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