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Author Topic: Stop helping me! (Share your stories)  (Read 188993 times)

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siamesecat2965

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Re: Stop helping me! (Share your stories)
« Reply #480 on: April 17, 2014, 12:24:05 PM »
On the subject of "hand me downs" I will say all of the furniture in my apt, aside form my bed, is from my parents, who got a lot from grandma and my one great aunt. But, it was all mutually decided upon when I moved out. Mom said what do you need, i said, well, this and that, and so on, and we went around and she offered what she was willing to give up, and I took it.

She was thrilled when I moved as she had a gorgeous vanity that had been my grandmother's - but I had no room for. I told her i wasn't sure if it would fit in my new apt, but when i got there, and had my other furniture, it did.  I chose one, she sold the other, but the funny part is, wasn't until I had that, plus dresser and armoire, did I realisze i had chosen the vanity that matched the other two. They had been my grandparent's when they got married in the 1920's.

And now, she always asks me first, as I do her. if we want it, great, if not, we can dispose of it as we choose.

I have a cousin though, who is always trying to pawn her clothes off onto me and her SIL. she's lost weight, and her original size fits her SIL, and her in-between fits me. The problem is, SIL and I have different taste in clothes than cousin, and cousin also tends to wear things she likes, rather than what is actually flatering on her. and as we have the same body type, i very rarely take anything.

I live out of state, but her SIL is local, so she has a very bad habit of dumping bringing bags of clothing to SIL, and just leaving them, and when SIL doens't want any of it, she's now stuck with getting rid of it! And cousin gets irked sometimes when we DON'T take any of her stuff. Sorry, but i am a tad fluffy, and tapered, low rise ankle jeans in colored denim only make my posterior look like a giant piece of fruit.

I cleaned out my closet recently, but I emailed SIL and said i have this and that, are you interested? she said thanks, but no, so off to Goodwill it went.

Slartibartfast

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Re: Stop helping me! (Share your stories)
« Reply #481 on: April 17, 2014, 01:28:13 PM »
FIL runs a charity in which he collects books and brings them over to start libraries in several schools in Uganda.  (He's also building a high school, which is really cool, but the head of the school district loved the idea of a library and asked if he could help put one in each of the other 147 schools in the district as well.)  Not surprisingly, out of all the used books FIL ends up collecting, only about half are suitable to send - the other half are out-of-date college textbooks, half-used coloring books, moldy/mildewy/falling apart, too "adult" for a young audience, etc.

The problem is, he then goes through all these extra books and picks out the ones he thinks DH and I would like.  Which ends up being boxes and boxes of moldy physics textbooks (for DH) and 30-year-old Harlequin romances (for me) and sticker books with the gum all worn off the stickers (for Babybartfast).  I have no problem saying "no thanks," so the Harlequins have mostly stopped, but DH always accepts the textbooks because he does actually read that kind of stuff for fun.  Except we've now got a bookcase FULL of science and computer textbooks, many of which are falling apart / out of date / smelly / dirty, and DH won't let me throw them out  :-\

siamesecat2965

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Re: Stop helping me! (Share your stories)
« Reply #482 on: April 17, 2014, 02:09:46 PM »
My husband has an obsession with cars having to be absolutely clean inside. Nothing should be in the car except things like window scrapers, the owner's manual, etc.

This results in him deciding to be "helpful" and taking things out of my car if he happens to notice something in there. Which often results in him doing things like removing packages I put in there to take to the post office the next day, or a bag of clothes I was going to return to the store, or a box of things I was going to give to a co-worker. I have told him repeatedly to stop taking things out of my car, but he still does it.

 
I am now going to have to just lock my car and keep the keys in my purse to stop him from his obsessive removal of things from my car.

This would drive me nuts. Evilsiamsecat would be tempted to rig up my car with some sort of loud alarm and flashing lights, and water gun, that would go off ONLY when he went near the car, to ward him off. I keep a lot of stuff in my car too, and woe to anyone who'd remove it so it wasn't there when I needed it!

jedikaiti

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Re: Stop helping me! (Share your stories)
« Reply #483 on: April 17, 2014, 02:31:54 PM »
I think if I found I needed something from my car and my DH had removed it like that, I'd make HIM do the running around to get it and bring it to me!
What part of v_e = \sqrt{\frac{2GM}{r}} don't you understand? It's only rocket science!

"The problem with re-examining your brilliant ideas is that more often than not, you discover they are the intellectual equivalent of saying, 'Hold my beer and watch this!'" - Cindy Couture

RegionMom

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Re: Stop helping me! (Share your stories)
« Reply #484 on: April 17, 2014, 02:38:25 PM »
My van is like a second purse to me- water bottles and granola bars for me and the kids AND street beggars, a pair of flats for driving, wet wipes and tissue, all the stuff for emergency stops, plus a hairbrush and lipstick, tunes to listen to, charger cords, paper and pens, maps, hidden money for yard sales, first aid kit, nail clippers kit, and always some sort of randomness. 

Right now, it looks like I am ready to go giant vampire hunting because I have 5 foot long sharpened wooden stakes just floating under the back seats.  why?  leftovers from a scout camping activity that needs to be returned to a farish off scout trailer. 

As for a stop helping!  moment-

DH's parents are down sizing and offered us their lovely and heavy dining room table.  Yes, we will take it.  Please, grandmother, get OUT of the way of the DOOR!  This table is heavy!!  and we have to angle it just so and maneuver the front landing steps, so STOP trying to carry one leg, or wipe it off, or try to throw on the dust cover as we are walking backwards and sideways with this very heavy and lovely table!!  We've got it, and physics will not allow you into the equation of table angle vs. door vs. steps. 

 ::)
Fear is temporary...Regret is forever.

GratefulMaria

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Re: Stop helping me! (Share your stories)
« Reply #485 on: April 17, 2014, 03:46:51 PM »
Life would grind to a screeching halt if I didn't have a chance to load my car up for errands ahead of time.  We have our SUV and my mother's sedan here now.  I loaded the sedan up Sunday evening:  DS2's care package, dry cleaning, a bunch of corrugated for recycling, library books to return, more.  Thank goodness DH asked instead of just taking it so I could have the SUV -- I told him whoever has the stuff takes on the to-do list!

Then there was the time a few years ago we switched cars for some repair work, and we each topped the other's off with gas to save one another the trouble.

Nuala

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Re: Stop helping me! (Share your stories)
« Reply #486 on: April 17, 2014, 08:05:16 PM »
Our plan was for everyone at the wedding to gather to pick out their balloons, and then we were to all walk together as a group to the ceremony location.

That sounds wonderful. Where there other out of the ordinary things at your wedding?

Magpy

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Re: Stop helping me! (Share your stories)
« Reply #487 on: April 18, 2014, 11:00:43 AM »
Our plan was for everyone at the wedding to gather to pick out their balloons, and then we were to all walk together as a group to the ceremony location.

That sounds wonderful. Where there other out of the ordinary things at your wedding?

Thank you!  It was a perfect wedding.  We were married at a college.  My husband hand-embroidered my wedding dress and his shirt - he wore jeans and sneakers.  We also had a visiting rooster try and eat the wedding cake!

SCAJAfamily

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Re: Stop helping me! (Share your stories)
« Reply #488 on: April 18, 2014, 11:24:56 AM »
My mom is responsible for the book section at a charity shop where all the funds go to the fire station next door.  The number of people who think their crummy donations are helping is astounding.  They get lots of good donations, of course, but the number of people who are cleaning out a house and don't want to pay dump fees is astounding. 

There is a giant sign outside now stating all the things they won't take and that there are cameras and you may not dump your crap here.  Still happens though.  My mom still has to sort out all the 1975 encyclopedias, the text books, the ripped falling apart mysteries and the Readers Digests and National Geographics that someone MUST want right?

The charity is losing money because they have to pay dump fees.
SCAJAfamily = dd S 24, ds C 17, ds A 14, dh J and myself dw A

Piratelvr1121

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Re: Stop helping me! (Share your stories)
« Reply #489 on: April 18, 2014, 11:38:26 AM »
It drives me crazy when someone I know will offer unsolicited advice and then act put out like I tricked her into giving me advice and next time I'll have to look it up on my own. But then when I do something on my own and don't tell her about it (even when it goes well) she acts hurt and will say "I could have given you good advice!"

I shared that one of our budgies laid an egg and she said "I don't know of anyone who's ever had a budgie (parakeet) do that, so that's one you'll have to research on your own!" Only...I'd already started looking into it.
Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars.  You have a right to be here. Be cheerful, strive to be happy. -Desiderata

poundcake

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Re: Stop helping me! (Share your stories)
« Reply #490 on: April 18, 2014, 12:10:07 PM »
My mom is responsible for the book section at a charity shop where all the funds go to the fire station next door.  The number of people who think their crummy donations are helping is astounding.  They get lots of good donations, of course, but the number of people who are cleaning out a house and don't want to pay dump fees is astounding. 

There is a giant sign outside now stating all the things they won't take and that there are cameras and you may not dump your crap here.  Still happens though.  My mom still has to sort out all the 1975 encyclopedias, the text books, the ripped falling apart mysteries and the Readers Digests and National Geographics that someone MUST want right?

The charity is losing money because they have to pay dump fees.

Similarly, a friend of mine runs a charity helping welfare-to-work women find appropriate careerwear. They have set hours for donations, and specific requirements for donated items (on hangers, businesswear in good condition, clean). But of course, people show up at all hours with garbage bags full of old t-shirts and flip flops and want to know why these ungrateful welfare women don't want their donations. And one of the fun reasons why all the clothing must be on hangers is because when they're bagged, people were doing things like throwing in all sorts of non-clothing junk mixed in, so that the charity was dealing with discarding all sorts of stray knickknacks and crap, not just clothing. And there's nothing like reaching into a bag expecting to pull out clothing and getting a handful of broken glass from a bunch of picture frames someone shoved in with everything.

But again, people just get incensed when they show up without an appointment and there is no one available to help them because the employees and volunteers are busy with clients,  don't understand why they can't just drop off bags full of whatever in the office lobby, and throw temper tantrums when they aren't hailed as wonderful heroes for "helping" by trying to unload two Hefty bags full of stretched-out sweatpants, torn shirts, used underwear, and one pair of tailored pants with a busted zipper.

geekette

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Re: Stop helping me! (Share your stories)
« Reply #491 on: April 19, 2014, 02:49:31 AM »
At work recently, I grumbled to my cubicle-mate that couldn't find any thorough statistics on something, so I had to get some other related statistics and do some complicated equations to extrapolate some estimates. An hour later, I was still asking him to stop sending me websites about the complicated equations - I know the equations, I had done the equations, I was trying to analyze the results and he kept breaking my concentration.

And in the process of explaining that to him, everyone else in the bay found out I was using the complicated equation, and started to send me websites to help with it, since I was having so much trouble...

*bangs head on desk*

kherbert05

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Re: Stop helping me! (Share your stories)
« Reply #492 on: April 19, 2014, 11:12:25 AM »
Donations


When I was at the Children's Art Museum we had a found object art table the kids loved. We took all sorts of donations but they had to be kid safe
1. No glass
2. No chemical/cleaning containers
3. No Rx bottles
4. No knifes/Razors
5. No food containers still containing food.


We had this one woman that would bring all of the above and then complain to some board members when she saw me dumping her donations in the trash bin. I was told to go through and use everything possible. None of it was possible all of it was on the no list. Not to mention the bugs.


It stopped after someone got hurt - thankfully that was me not a kid. I reached in trying to sort through the bag and got peanut butter smeared all over my hand. Dad had been put on the board a couple of years after I was hired. They happen to be having a board meeting that day. I called and told them to a) Get Dad out of the board meeting to take me to the ER b) send someone from the main museum to help my assistant because it was summer and Free Tuesday. A board member who was a Mom of young kids came over to help. She apparently took pictures and put her foot down about the inappropriate donations both to the board and to the woman leaving the trash. 
Don't Teach Them For Your Past. Teach Them For Their Future

Harriet Jones

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Re: Stop helping me! (Share your stories)
« Reply #493 on: April 19, 2014, 12:28:11 PM »


It stopped after someone got hurt - thankfully that was me not a kid. I reached in trying to sort through the bag and got peanut butter smeared all over my hand. Dad had been put on the board a couple of years after I was hired. They happen to be having a board meeting that day. I called and told them to a) Get Dad out of the board meeting to take me to the ER b) send someone from the main museum to help my assistant because it was summer and Free Tuesday. A board member who was a Mom of young kids came over to help. She apparently took pictures and put her foot down about the inappropriate donations both to the board and to the woman leaving the trash.

Yuck.  Why weren't you wearing gloves? I'm not allergic to anything, but I don't think I'd be sorting trash without some sort of protection.

AngelicGamer

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Re: Stop helping me! (Share your stories)
« Reply #494 on: April 19, 2014, 12:54:28 PM »


It stopped after someone got hurt - thankfully that was me not a kid. I reached in trying to sort through the bag and got peanut butter smeared all over my hand. Dad had been put on the board a couple of years after I was hired. They happen to be having a board meeting that day. I called and told them to a) Get Dad out of the board meeting to take me to the ER b) send someone from the main museum to help my assistant because it was summer and Free Tuesday. A board member who was a Mom of young kids came over to help. She apparently took pictures and put her foot down about the inappropriate donations both to the board and to the woman leaving the trash.

Yuck.  Why weren't you wearing gloves? I'm not allergic to anything, but I don't think I'd be sorting trash without some sort of protection.

Because it was "donations" not trash, possibly?  And if she treated it like trash, she'd get more flack.  At least, that's how I'm reading the situation.  At least it stopped after that.