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Author Topic: Stop helping me! (Share your stories)  (Read 188880 times)

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Dazi

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Re: Stop helping me! (Share your stories)
« Reply #375 on: April 02, 2014, 05:38:58 AM »
Cook, cook! Stupid autocorrect.

Speaking of stop helping me.  I hate auto correct.  It never corrects to anything that I am trying to and apparently the word "three" doesn't exist.  I get the, thee, fee, few and even when I type three very slowly out, it still tries to correct it to thee most of the time.
Meditate. Live purely. Quiet the mind. Do your work with mastery. Like the moon, come out from behind the clouds! Shine. ---Gautama Buddah





Thipu1

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Re: Stop helping me! (Share your stories)
« Reply #376 on: April 02, 2014, 06:38:46 AM »
Cook, cook! Stupid autocorrect.

Speaking of stop helping me.  I hate auto correct.  It never corrects to anything that I am trying to and apparently the word "three" doesn't exist.  I get the, thee, fee, few and even when I type three very slowly out, it still tries to correct it to thee most of the time.

Add me to the group that hates autocorrect.  I know I use too many quotation marks but it's the only way I can get certain things through it.   

Piratelvr1121

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Re: Stop helping me! (Share your stories)
« Reply #377 on: April 02, 2014, 08:33:55 AM »
I thankfully don't have it as I don't have an apple device but lordy that would make me crazy.

And I have to wonder about the AutoCorrectFails that get shared that replace an innocent word with a naughty one.  Are they really THAT dirty in their autocorrects or are people editing to make it funnier?
Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars.  You have a right to be here. Be cheerful, strive to be happy. -Desiderata

Slartibartfast

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Re: Stop helping me! (Share your stories)
« Reply #378 on: April 02, 2014, 08:39:17 AM »
I thankfully don't have it as I don't have an apple device but lordy that would make me crazy.

And I have to wonder about the AutoCorrectFails that get shared that replace an innocent word with a naughty one.  Are they really THAT dirty in their autocorrects or are people editing to make it funnier?

It's never done that to me - although I also haven't "taught" it lots of dirty words, either  :P  (Actually, I turned mine off, mostly because it kept correcting "well" to "we'll."  Which are two totally different words, and if I wanted to write a contraction I darn we'll would have  ;))

Flibbertigibbet

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Re: Stop helping me! (Share your stories)
« Reply #379 on: April 02, 2014, 08:50:45 AM »
I have had some funny autocorrects - none obscene though, and I just haven't caught them before i pressed send. My personal favourite is when I was texting someone about the fact that 'some 'gitface'' had called me at 2am with a silent call. My phone changed the word 'gitface' to 'giraffe'.

Much hilarity ensued as we wondered why a giraffe would be calling at 2 am and a silent call at that, and also whether he would be called Geoffrey (Toys R Us fame). The conversation then went on to speculate whether all giraffes were evil and whether they were all called Geoffrey...

wolfie

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Re: Stop helping me! (Share your stories)
« Reply #380 on: April 02, 2014, 09:05:22 AM »
I thankfully don't have it as I don't have an apple device but lordy that would make me crazy.

And I have to wonder about the AutoCorrectFails that get shared that replace an innocent word with a naughty one.  Are they really THAT dirty in their autocorrects or are people editing to make it funnier?

I have had it happen once. It changed one word that changed the entire sentence to have sexual innuendo. otherwise it seems to change proper names. Like it changed the name of a highway "tacanic" to "taco mix"

Dindrane

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Re: Stop helping me! (Share your stories)
« Reply #381 on: April 02, 2014, 09:39:21 AM »
I think some of the auto correct things you see posted online are made up, too. I'm sure some of them are genuine, but a lot of them rather stretch credibility.


TootsNYC

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Re: Stop helping me! (Share your stories)
« Reply #382 on: April 02, 2014, 09:46:26 AM »
I keep thinking, "If I were the programmer for autocorrect, I'd fix it so that the dirty words were WAY down on the list of auto substitutions. You want to say dirty words, fine, but I'm not going to help you."

darling

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Re: Stop helping me! (Share your stories)
« Reply #383 on: April 02, 2014, 10:22:35 AM »
I have accidentally gotten a dirty word in autocorrect before... I am SOOOO glad I reviewed before I sent.

Yvaine

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Re: Stop helping me! (Share your stories)
« Reply #384 on: April 02, 2014, 10:25:12 AM »
My dumbphone has predictive text and lets me add words it doesn't have in its dictionary, but it "forgets" them every few months. This includes the dirty words. I feel naughty teaching my phone to cuss. ;)

TootsNYC

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Re: Stop helping me! (Share your stories)
« Reply #385 on: April 02, 2014, 10:27:19 AM »
My dumbphone has predictive text and lets me add words it doesn't have in its dictionary, but it "forgets" them every few months. This includes the dirty words. I feel naughty teaching my phone to cuss. ;)

But the fact that you have to is proof that at least one autocorrect has, in its algorithm (or whatever), a bias against suggesting those words. Though, darling has proof that it can happen spontaneously.

Yvaine

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Re: Stop helping me! (Share your stories)
« Reply #386 on: April 02, 2014, 10:31:31 AM »
My dumbphone has predictive text and lets me add words it doesn't have in its dictionary, but it "forgets" them every few months. This includes the dirty words. I feel naughty teaching my phone to cuss. ;)

But the fact that you have to is proof that at least one autocorrect has, in its algorithm (or whatever), a bias against suggesting those words. Though, darling has proof that it can happen spontaneously.

My phone is not anything like the smartphones shown on those sites, though. And it's missing all sorts of normal words too--I've had to teach it "snuggle" repeatedly, for example. It's just a low-budget phone that is probably powered by a little dinosaur running in a wheel inside it.  ;D I've seen enough dirty autocorrects on DYAC that I think those types of phones have a much spicier vocabulary built in.

athersgeo

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Re: Stop helping me! (Share your stories)
« Reply #387 on: April 02, 2014, 10:39:13 AM »
My dumbphone has predictive text and lets me add words it doesn't have in its dictionary, but it "forgets" them every few months. This includes the dirty words. I feel naughty teaching my phone to cuss. ;)

I had a word processor spellcheck similar to that - I could add words to the dictionary if the dictionary didn't have them already. Most of what I added was technical terminology (I was using it to write up acoustic lab reports, for the most part), but I did discover, when I subsequently reviewed the dictionary, that at some point I'd taught it a variety of swear words in English, German, French and (best of all) Klingon.

And in the vein of "stop helping me", I give to you the Microsoft Office Assistant.

I have painful memories of compiling a series of 30 graphs in Excel for a lab report and for each one that blasted paperclip popped up to say "I see you are drawing a graph - would you like some help?" And no amount of telling it to go away/closing it/cursing the university IT Drone who'd thought it was a good idea to install it in the first place would convince it that no, I REALLY didn't need any help with my graphs thankyouverymuch.

Luci

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Re: Stop helping me! (Share your stories)
« Reply #388 on: April 02, 2014, 11:33:37 AM »
Apple makes it easy to turn off auto-correct.

Settings
   General
      Keyboard
          Auto-correction: slider to 'off'

Yvaine

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Re: Stop helping me! (Share your stories)
« Reply #389 on: April 02, 2014, 01:01:24 PM »
My dumbphone has predictive text and lets me add words it doesn't have in its dictionary, but it "forgets" them every few months. This includes the dirty words. I feel naughty teaching my phone to cuss. ;)

I had a word processor spellcheck similar to that - I could add words to the dictionary if the dictionary didn't have them already. Most of what I added was technical terminology (I was using it to write up acoustic lab reports, for the most part), but I did discover, when I subsequently reviewed the dictionary, that at some point I'd taught it a variety of swear words in English, German, French and (best of all) Klingon.

And in the vein of "stop helping me", I give to you the Microsoft Office Assistant.

I have painful memories of compiling a series of 30 graphs in Excel for a lab report and for each one that blasted paperclip popped up to say "I see you are drawing a graph - would you like some help?" And no amount of telling it to go away/closing it/cursing the university IT Drone who'd thought it was a good idea to install it in the first place would convince it that no, I REALLY didn't need any help with my graphs thankyouverymuch.

CRUD MONKEYS!, the paper clip. The paper clip.  >:( >:( >:(

As for word processor spellcheck, you should see all the imaginary words mine knew when I was writing Harry Potter fanfic.