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Author Topic: Stop helping me! (Share your stories)  (Read 189151 times)

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Seraphia

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Re: Stop helping me! (Share your stories)
« Reply #420 on: April 10, 2014, 12:02:53 PM »
Co-workers who want to make things as easy as possible...for themselves.

I'm on a project at work that's slowly winding down. People are rolling off in twos and threes, and we're supposed to be as well. Co-Worker and I were expecting that this week would be mostly completing things for Audit, filling out documentation - wrap-up stuff. Unfortunately, a Problem came up, and since we're now down to three people on the team, there isn't a lot of manpower to go around to deal with Problem.

Problem cropped up at 4:45 on Tuesday, when it was still just a small issue. Ok, sure, we'll get started first thing Wednesday. Wednesday, we start plugging away, when all of a sudden, an angry email comes through. Problem has now tripled in size, and needs to be done tomorrow STAT. Uh oh. CW and I start working as fast as we can, and make pretty good progress. We're about 3/4s done at 4:45 Wednesday when Counterpart sends us a conference request.

Counterpart wants to know: "Why are you solving Problem with X way? We did it Y way back in January and it's much faster!" (Please note, Counterpart does not do any actual solving of Problems - he is there to check our work.) We spent almost an hour arguing with him about this. We did use Y process back then. But, it was with the help of someone who's now gone, and we're on a pretty tight timeline to try and fix this now. "But Y way means that we (meaning him) don't have to do as much documenting! I'm not trying to throw a wrench in things, but I just think Y would be much better."

Counterpart is right. Y method would be much better..... IF we had time, IF we had the person who knew how to do it, IF we weren't already mostly done with X, and IF it weren't already 5:30PM!

Argh. We wound up staying until almost 7:30 until we could pass Problem back to Counterpart, by which time, he was long gone. Apparently trying to help speed things up "for us" didn't mean he would actually be willing to work OT to get Problem fixed quickly.
Ancora Imparo - I am still learning

gmatoy

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Re: Stop helping me! (Share your stories)
« Reply #421 on: April 10, 2014, 09:44:20 PM »
You know, I hate to be a "Debbie Downer", but I have had friends tell me that their daughters ate as much as their sons in the teen years. And one friend told me that if her son ate out, he would still have a snack at home. But if her daughter ate out, then later, at home she would have both another meal and then a snack.  She thought it was because girls don't want the others in the party to know how much they can eat.

Lady Snowdon

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Re: Stop helping me! (Share your stories)
« Reply #422 on: April 10, 2014, 10:21:45 PM »
Helpful Coworker has decided that, as I'm 20 years younger than her, I will be grateful for her helpful bits of advice and information.  Said "helpful" bits of advice and information have ranged from her informing me that I can't be afraid of dogs when I mentioned that my uncle's dog doesn't like me (I've had dogs since I was 3 years old, and love them.  No fear here!) to telling me I should do x, y, or z with my side business - all things that are pretty much impossible with what I do.  She took the cake today though, when she to horn in on two conversations I was having with other people. 

First, I'm talking to Boss about an issue that I have.  A company has processed something incorrectly, and as a result they are overpaying us by something like 3x.  Putting that into the system is screwing things up, naturally, and we're discussing how to input it, what I need to do as far as notifying the company that screwed up, etc.  Helpful Coworker hears something about "I can't unapply the payment in the system..." and calls out, "If you just click okay, it'll let you unapply it".  Boss looks at me, I tell her I already tried this and it wouldn't go through.  I call out to Helpful Coworker, "Nope, tried that, doesn't work.".  Helpful Coworker comes over and spends 5 minutes telling us how she thinks we should solve our issue.  Only problem is she doesn't know what our issue is.  She assumed it was a completely different issue and was giving us tips for solving that.  Once she stopped talking, Boss said in a very annoyed tone, "That's not what we're working on".  Helpful Coworker says, "oh, okay" and wanders off.  Totally clueless.  ::)

Second, I'm talking to Other Coworker about a payment issue she's having (all our bank deposits came in today for some reason, so we had tons of payments we were working to match up with our system).  The company is telling Other Coworker that A and Y should be billed together, so they're not going to pay for A.  Helpful Coworker comes over and says, "No, those two are billed together, so you need to void one."  Other Coworker and I look at her in confusion and Other Coworker says, "No they're not, that doesn't make any sense!".  Helpful Coworker says, "Those two are always billed together.  If you see X and Y together, you have to void Y!"  I said, "But we didn't bill X and Y, we billed A and Y."  Helpful Coworker blinks and says, "Well, of course those aren't billed together.  You need to get that fixed!".   ::)

She needs to stop trying to "help" everyone and just do her own stuff.  Gah!

Piratelvr1121

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Re: Stop helping me! (Share your stories)
« Reply #423 on: April 11, 2014, 07:46:36 AM »
You know, I hate to be a "Debbie Downer", but I have had friends tell me that their daughters ate as much as their sons in the teen years. And one friend told me that if her son ate out, he would still have a snack at home. But if her daughter ate out, then later, at home she would have both another meal and then a snack.  She thought it was because girls don't want the others in the party to know how much they can eat.

I'll attest to that.  In high school I ran cross country and as a result I swear I was ALWAYS hungry.
Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars.  You have a right to be here. Be cheerful, strive to be happy. -Desiderata

VorFemme

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Re: Stop helping me! (Share your stories)
« Reply #424 on: April 11, 2014, 06:56:01 PM »
DD was on swim team.  Swimming in cool to cold water for well over an hour a day will leave a teenager ravenous.  I would have hated to be the one trying to buy and fix enough food for siblings on a swim team....

As it was, my mother had to feed three siblings in the junior high & high school marching bands - after I got married and Lil Sis went off to college, my brothers started growing taller.  The grocery bills stayed the same for the family of four as they had been for a family of six.  Until Lil Sis came home from college for the summer...then the bills went up.
Let sleeping dragons be.......morning breath......need I explain?

weeblewobble

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Re: Stop helping me! (Share your stories)
« Reply #425 on: April 12, 2014, 08:12:21 AM »
Helpful Coworker has decided that, as I'm 20 years younger than her, I will be grateful for her helpful bits of advice and information.  Said "helpful" bits of advice and information have ranged from her informing me that I can't be afraid of dogs when I mentioned that my uncle's dog doesn't like me (I've had dogs since I was 3 years old, and love them.  No fear here!) to telling me I should do x, y, or z with my side business - all things that are pretty much impossible with what I do. 

I feel your pain.  I have a job in a  specialized artistic field, in which people really have no idea how my job works, but believe they know exactly what I should be doing and how. I can't tell you how many times I've received advice from laymen that would literally end my career if I followed it.

Cherry91

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Re: Stop helping me! (Share your stories)
« Reply #426 on: April 12, 2014, 09:35:26 AM »
You know, I hate to be a "Debbie Downer", but I have had friends tell me that their daughters ate as much as their sons in the teen years. And one friend told me that if her son ate out, he would still have a snack at home. But if her daughter ate out, then later, at home she would have both another meal and then a snack.  She thought it was because girls don't want the others in the party to know how much they can eat.

I'll attest to that.  In high school I ran cross country and as a result I swear I was ALWAYS hungry.

I did martial arts two to three times a week from age 14 - 19 and while I was doing so, I could out eat most of my male friends and family members.

And to also be on topic, I still got people telling me i was "too skinny" and giving me unsolicited advice on "loving myself and my body" and "learning how to have a healthy relationship with food". When in reality, if I could have married food, I would have!
All will be well, and all manner of things will be well.

Piratelvr1121

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Re: Stop helping me! (Share your stories)
« Reply #427 on: April 13, 2014, 11:29:47 AM »
My middle child has ADD but isn't medicated due to him usually being able to manage it and getting decent grades, as well as just not finding anything that really works for him, med wise.

Now, I don't mind him bringing something to fidget with in church if it truly did help him to pay attention as he claims it does. But when I give him little quizzes as to what the gospel was about, he can't answer them.  Not to mention he makes it really obvious at times that he's not paying attention. Like today, making tiny sculptures out of clay and lining them up along the back of the pew in front of us.

I was talking to him after the service about this when a woman came up and started praising him for his creativity and making excuses for him left and right. "He's just being a boy!"  ::)
Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars.  You have a right to be here. Be cheerful, strive to be happy. -Desiderata

andi

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Re: Stop helping me! (Share your stories)
« Reply #428 on: April 13, 2014, 12:35:31 PM »
URGH !!  That drives me nuts. Yeah - they're being kids, but that's why I'm trying to be a parent!! 

Katana_Geldar

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Re: Stop helping me! (Share your stories)
« Reply #429 on: April 13, 2014, 06:51:39 PM »
You know, I hate to be a "Debbie Downer", but I have had friends tell me that their daughters ate as much as their sons in the teen years. And one friend told me that if her son ate out, he would still have a snack at home. But if her daughter ate out, then later, at home she would have both another meal and then a snack.  She thought it was because girls don't want the others in the party to know how much they can eat.

I'll attest to that.  In high school I ran cross country and as a result I swear I was ALWAYS hungry.

I did martial arts two to three times a week from age 14 - 19 and while I was doing so, I could out eat most of my male friends and family members.

And to also be on topic, I still got people telling me i was "too skinny" and giving me unsolicited advice on "loving myself and my body" and "learning how to have a healthy relationship with food". When in reality, if I could have married food, I would have!
This was me growing up. It's as bad as telling a fat person they need to lose weight.

MommyPenguin

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Re: Stop helping me! (Share your stories)
« Reply #430 on: April 14, 2014, 10:11:33 AM »
My middle child has ADD but isn't medicated due to him usually being able to manage it and getting decent grades, as well as just not finding anything that really works for him, med wise.

Now, I don't mind him bringing something to fidget with in church if it truly did help him to pay attention as he claims it does. But when I give him little quizzes as to what the gospel was about, he can't answer them.  Not to mention he makes it really obvious at times that he's not paying attention. Like today, making tiny sculptures out of clay and lining them up along the back of the pew in front of us.

I was talking to him after the service about this when a woman came up and started praising him for his creativity and making excuses for him left and right. "He's just being a boy!"  ::)

I've always had trouble listening to and following the sermon, and I don't have ADHD.  I just don't learn well from listening, I learn better from seeing.  I've started taking sermon notes, and, while I always struggled in college to both listen and take notes, because listening is hard for me, the no pressure situation of a sermon makes note-taking work well to keep my attention.  :)

Sorry that that woman was encouraging him in not paying attention, though!  Did he overhear?
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Klein Bottle

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Re: Stop helping me! (Share your stories)
« Reply #431 on: April 14, 2014, 02:44:00 PM »
I will keep this vague as the results were pretty gross.  My dd decided to help me with my chores the other night. She used the water from the toilet. I will say it is very clean now as I redid her cleaning job with bleach and followed up with some Mrs Meyers.

I know of what you speak!  There is a saga related to why ex was no longer permitted to clean the bathroom.

We got a deal on our first home, as it needed a lot of work, and I do mean a whole lot.  We had to gut the bathroom down to the boards.  The previous owners had installed, (obviously by themselves), a very slippery and shoddy-looking ceramic tile in there.  I needed something inexpensive and nice-looking to replace it, so we went with those linoleum type tiles that stick.  It wasn't overly slippry and it looked really nice.

Ex's family was coming to dinner once we got the house into reasonable shape.  I did the majority of the cleaning, all the shopping, and cooked a nice meal.  Right before their arrival, I had to run out and get soft drinks.  Ex asked if he could do anything while I was gone, and I said if he wanted to give the bathroom floor a quick mop, that would be great.

I went to the store, and when I came home, he was hard at work.  I walked into the bathroom to ask him something, only to find he was using a sponge and the toilet water to "clean" the floor.  I was horrified.  I was beyond squicked out.  I actually broke down and cried.  Then I took the hottest water I could stand, and some disinfectant floor cleaner, and went over every inch.

HGolightly, I am guessing your daughter is a youngster who didn't know any better.  Ex is a grown man.  I remember asking him what he was thinking, and he didn't really have a good answer.  To this day, I can barely stand to remember that mental picture, of him dipping that sponge where it didn't need to go. 

It makes the time he ruined my kitchen floor by using pure bleach look so much better by comparison!    ;)
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TriCrazy73

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Re: Stop helping me! (Share your stories)
« Reply #432 on: April 14, 2014, 02:55:46 PM »
And I thought the time my DH used Pledge on the hardwood floors was bad!!!  ;D  Granted, they looked showroom new, but holy cow they were slippery!!!

doodlemor

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Re: Stop helping me! (Share your stories)
« Reply #433 on: April 14, 2014, 03:23:30 PM »
And I thought the time my DH used Pledge on the hardwood floors was bad!!!  ;D  Granted, they looked showroom new, but holy cow they were slippery!!!

I didn't know my husband had another brother!  What is it with these guys? 

FauxFoodist

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Re: Stop helping me! (Share your stories)
« Reply #434 on: April 14, 2014, 03:25:21 PM »
When DH and I were planning our wedding (which was really me planning our wedding then bringing my ideas/research to DH so we could confer), ObnoxiousBFF (who was best man -- second one at that after DH and I agreed the first one needed to be replaced) kept telling DH that he, OBFF, wanted to be our "wedding manager" (anyone ever heard of that?  I sure haven't).  This was his idea of "helping" -- being our wedding manager.  It really meant he wanted to control every aspect of our wedding.  Unfortunately for him, *I* neither needed nor wanted a wedding manager, never mind him having that role, because I wanted us (DH and me) to plan our wedding, US, not someone else under the guise of "helping" (I also pointed that if I wanted someone to tell me what to do, we would've hired a professional wedding planner).  After I shot down that idea, DH then said OBFF created a spreadsheet for me to use to plan our wedding.  I rejected that, too, and reminded DH I'm pretty well-versed at using Excel and already had my own spreadsheets I was perfectly happy using (to this day, I have no idea what OBFF's spreadsheet looked like).

The reason I so vehemently rejected this "help" and any other help from OBFF when possible?  OBFF feels the need to insert himself as much as he can wherever he can so, even though I didn't need the help anyway, this behavior needed to be nipped in the bud.  OBFF proved me right when he spent an inordinate amount of time post-reception crowing about how his suggestion of having one case of bottled water be room temperature was well-received as over half the case had been consumed.  I pointed out to DH (who did acknowledge I was correct on this) that if OBFF were crowing about something so minor, how intolerable would he have been if he were allowed more input on our wedding planning? (this was the only thing that was his idea or that he was allowed to contribute)

Same thing with anything in our house.  OBFF tried to foist a dining table on us that I positively hated and did not match the style of our house at all (our house was built in the 60s while this table was a contemporary metal and glass design).  That table went away fairly quickly (I found a beat-up, solid wood dining table through Freecycle that I love, not to mention it fits the style of the house; DH knew the moment he saw the table and heard OBFF going on and on about how well his dining table matched the house that I was going to reject it -- DH knows I despise glass-topped tables as they are too high-maintenance for me).  I let DH know early on (regarding our house) that there's no way anything from OBFF could ever decorate our house in any prominent place because we would never hear the end of it (not that it matters anyway because OBFF is not allowed into our home unless he has been sober no less than one year -- since he hasn't even managed one month on his own in the past several years, it's likely not going to happen).