Author Topic: Stop helping me! (Share your stories)  (Read 64619 times)

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andi

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Re: Stop helping me! (Share your stories)
« Reply #435 on: April 13, 2014, 01:35:31 PM »
URGH !!  That drives me nuts. Yeah - they're being kids, but that's why I'm trying to be a parent!! 

Katana_Geldar

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Re: Stop helping me! (Share your stories)
« Reply #436 on: April 13, 2014, 07:51:39 PM »
You know, I hate to be a "Debbie Downer", but I have had friends tell me that their daughters ate as much as their sons in the teen years. And one friend told me that if her son ate out, he would still have a snack at home. But if her daughter ate out, then later, at home she would have both another meal and then a snack.  She thought it was because girls don't want the others in the party to know how much they can eat.

I'll attest to that.  In high school I ran cross country and as a result I swear I was ALWAYS hungry.

I did martial arts two to three times a week from age 14 - 19 and while I was doing so, I could out eat most of my male friends and family members.

And to also be on topic, I still got people telling me i was "too skinny" and giving me unsolicited advice on "loving myself and my body" and "learning how to have a healthy relationship with food". When in reality, if I could have married food, I would have!
This was me growing up. It's as bad as telling a fat person they need to lose weight.

MommyPenguin

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Re: Stop helping me! (Share your stories)
« Reply #437 on: April 14, 2014, 11:11:33 AM »
My middle child has ADD but isn't medicated due to him usually being able to manage it and getting decent grades, as well as just not finding anything that really works for him, med wise.

Now, I don't mind him bringing something to fidget with in church if it truly did help him to pay attention as he claims it does. But when I give him little quizzes as to what the gospel was about, he can't answer them.  Not to mention he makes it really obvious at times that he's not paying attention. Like today, making tiny sculptures out of clay and lining them up along the back of the pew in front of us.

I was talking to him after the service about this when a woman came up and started praising him for his creativity and making excuses for him left and right. "He's just being a boy!"  ::)

I've always had trouble listening to and following the sermon, and I don't have ADHD.  I just don't learn well from listening, I learn better from seeing.  I've started taking sermon notes, and, while I always struggled in college to both listen and take notes, because listening is hard for me, the no pressure situation of a sermon makes note-taking work well to keep my attention.  :)

Sorry that that woman was encouraging him in not paying attention, though!  Did he overhear?

Shalamar

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Re: Stop helping me! (Share your stories)
« Reply #438 on: April 14, 2014, 11:20:33 AM »
A couple of years ago, I had put myself on a pretty strict weight-loss program, and I was avoiding sweets.  We had a department celebration one day that involved cake, and someone insisted that I take a piece.  Okay, fine - I'll put it in the freezer at work so that I'm not tempted, and I'll eat it in a couple of weeks when I've lost some weight.

Fast-forward a couple of weeks.  I've reached my weight-loss goal, and I'm going to celebrate with that piece of cake!  I'd been looking forward to it all day.  Open up the freezer, and ... it's gone.  "WHO ATE MY CAKE?"  One of my co-workers said defensively "It was there for so long, I didn't think you wanted it anymore, so I ate it."  "You ... owe me cake."

The Wild One, Forever

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Re: Stop helping me! (Share your stories)
« Reply #439 on: April 14, 2014, 03:44:00 PM »
I will keep this vague as the results were pretty gross.  My dd decided to help me with my chores the other night. She used the water from the toilet. I will say it is very clean now as I redid her cleaning job with bleach and followed up with some Mrs Meyers.

I know of what you speak!  There is a saga related to why ex was no longer permitted to clean the bathroom.

We got a deal on our first home, as it needed a lot of work, and I do mean a whole lot.  We had to gut the bathroom down to the boards.  The previous owners had installed, (obviously by themselves), a very slippery and shoddy-looking ceramic tile in there.  I needed something inexpensive and nice-looking to replace it, so we went with those linoleum type tiles that stick.  It wasn't overly slippry and it looked really nice.

Ex's family was coming to dinner once we got the house into reasonable shape.  I did the majority of the cleaning, all the shopping, and cooked a nice meal.  Right before their arrival, I had to run out and get soft drinks.  Ex asked if he could do anything while I was gone, and I said if he wanted to give the bathroom floor a quick mop, that would be great.

I went to the store, and when I came home, he was hard at work.  I walked into the bathroom to ask him something, only to find he was using a sponge and the toilet water to "clean" the floor.  I was horrified.  I was beyond squicked out.  I actually broke down and cried.  Then I took the hottest water I could stand, and some disinfectant floor cleaner, and went over every inch.

HGolightly, I am guessing your daughter is a youngster who didn't know any better.  Ex is a grown man.  I remember asking him what he was thinking, and he didn't really have a good answer.  To this day, I can barely stand to remember that mental picture, of him dipping that sponge where it didn't need to go. 

It makes the time he ruined my kitchen floor by using pure bleach look so much better by comparison!    ;)
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TriCrazy73

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Re: Stop helping me! (Share your stories)
« Reply #440 on: April 14, 2014, 03:55:46 PM »
And I thought the time my DH used Pledge on the hardwood floors was bad!!!  ;D  Granted, they looked showroom new, but holy cow they were slippery!!!

doodlemor

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Re: Stop helping me! (Share your stories)
« Reply #441 on: April 14, 2014, 04:23:30 PM »
And I thought the time my DH used Pledge on the hardwood floors was bad!!!  ;D  Granted, they looked showroom new, but holy cow they were slippery!!!

I didn't know my husband had another brother!  What is it with these guys? 

SoCalVal

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Re: Stop helping me! (Share your stories)
« Reply #442 on: April 14, 2014, 04:25:21 PM »
When DH and I were planning our wedding (which was really me planning our wedding then bringing my ideas/research to DH so we could confer), ObnoxiousBFF (who was best man -- second one at that after DH and I agreed the first one needed to be replaced) kept telling DH that he, OBFF, wanted to be our "wedding manager" (anyone ever heard of that?  I sure haven't).  This was his idea of "helping" -- being our wedding manager.  It really meant he wanted to control every aspect of our wedding.  Unfortunately for him, *I* neither needed nor wanted a wedding manager, never mind him having that role, because I wanted us (DH and me) to plan our wedding, US, not someone else under the guise of "helping" (I also pointed that if I wanted someone to tell me what to do, we would've hired a professional wedding planner).  After I shot down that idea, DH then said OBFF created a spreadsheet for me to use to plan our wedding.  I rejected that, too, and reminded DH I'm pretty well-versed at using Excel and already had my own spreadsheets I was perfectly happy using (to this day, I have no idea what OBFF's spreadsheet looked like).

The reason I so vehemently rejected this "help" and any other help from OBFF when possible?  OBFF feels the need to insert himself as much as he can wherever he can so, even though I didn't need the help anyway, this behavior needed to be nipped in the bud.  OBFF proved me right when he spent an inordinate amount of time post-reception crowing about how his suggestion of having one case of bottled water be room temperature was well-received as over half the case had been consumed.  I pointed out to DH (who did acknowledge I was correct on this) that if OBFF were crowing about something so minor, how intolerable would he have been if he were allowed more input on our wedding planning? (this was the only thing that was his idea or that he was allowed to contribute)

Same thing with anything in our house.  OBFF tried to foist a dining table on us that I positively hated and did not match the style of our house at all (our house was built in the 60s while this table was a contemporary metal and glass design).  That table went away fairly quickly (I found a beat-up, solid wood dining table through Freecycle that I love, not to mention it fits the style of the house; DH knew the moment he saw the table and heard OBFF going on and on about how well his dining table matched the house that I was going to reject it -- DH knows I despise glass-topped tables as they are too high-maintenance for me).  I let DH know early on (regarding our house) that there's no way anything from OBFF could ever decorate our house in any prominent place because we would never hear the end of it (not that it matters anyway because OBFF is not allowed into our home unless he has been sober no less than one year -- since he hasn't even managed one month on his own in the past several years, it's likely not going to happen).



Catananche

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Re: Stop helping me! (Share your stories)
« Reply #443 on: April 14, 2014, 04:26:46 PM »
When my daughter was 3 she 'helped' me clean the toilet. With my toothbrush. And when I asked she told me proudly she had been 'helping' me for a long time. She told me her previous brush was pink. I had changed toothbrushes 3 weeks before.

nayberry

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Re: Stop helping me! (Share your stories)
« Reply #444 on: April 14, 2014, 04:30:43 PM »
When my daughter was 3 she 'helped' me clean the toilet. With my toothbrush. And when I asked she told me proudly she had been 'helping' me for a long time. She told me her previous brush was pink. I had changed toothbrushes 3 weeks before.

 :o :o :o

doodlemor

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Re: Stop helping me! (Share your stories)
« Reply #445 on: April 14, 2014, 04:30:47 PM »
I will keep this vague as the results were pretty gross.  My dd decided to help me with my chores the other night. She used the water from the toilet. I will say it is very clean now as I redid her cleaning job with bleach and followed up with some Mrs Meyers.

I know of what you speak!  There is a saga related to why ex was no longer permitted to clean the bathroom.

We got a deal on our first home, as it needed a lot of work, and I do mean a whole lot.  We had to gut the bathroom down to the boards.  The previous owners had installed, (obviously by themselves), a very slippery and shoddy-looking ceramic tile in there.  I needed something inexpensive and nice-looking to replace it, so we went with those linoleum type tiles that stick.  It wasn't overly slippry and it looked really nice.

Ex's family was coming to dinner once we got the house into reasonable shape.  I did the majority of the cleaning, all the shopping, and cooked a nice meal.  Right before their arrival, I had to run out and get soft drinks.  Ex asked if he could do anything while I was gone, and I said if he wanted to give the bathroom floor a quick mop, that would be great.

I went to the store, and when I came home, he was hard at work.  I walked into the bathroom to ask him something, only to find he was using a sponge and the toilet water to "clean" the floor.  I was horrified.  I was beyond squicked out.  I actually broke down and cried.  Then I took the hottest water I could stand, and some disinfectant floor cleaner, and went over every inch.

HGolightly, I am guessing your daughter is a youngster who didn't know any better.  Ex is a grown man.  I remember asking him what he was thinking, and he didn't really have a good answer.  To this day, I can barely stand to remember that mental picture, of him dipping that sponge where it didn't need to go. 

It makes the time he ruined my kitchen floor by using pure bleach look so much better by comparison!    ;)

I think that he didn't want to get the bucket out and wash the floor properly, because that would be more work.  Naturally, he didn't want to share that information with you.  Since the water in the commode looked clean, he thought that it would do.  He didn't expect you to walk in and "catch" him.



Vall

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Re: Stop helping me! (Share your stories)
« Reply #446 on: April 14, 2014, 04:34:09 PM »
When my daughter was 3 she 'helped' me clean the toilet. With my toothbrush. And when I asked she told me proudly she had been 'helping' me for a long time. She told me her previous brush was pink. I had changed toothbrushes 3 weeks before.
Oh no.   :o

wolfie

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Re: Stop helping me! (Share your stories)
« Reply #447 on: April 14, 2014, 04:35:11 PM »
I will keep this vague as the results were pretty gross.  My dd decided to help me with my chores the other night. She used the water from the toilet. I will say it is very clean now as I redid her cleaning job with bleach and followed up with some Mrs Meyers.

I know of what you speak!  There is a saga related to why ex was no longer permitted to clean the bathroom.

We got a deal on our first home, as it needed a lot of work, and I do mean a whole lot.  We had to gut the bathroom down to the boards.  The previous owners had installed, (obviously by themselves), a very slippery and shoddy-looking ceramic tile in there.  I needed something inexpensive and nice-looking to replace it, so we went with those linoleum type tiles that stick.  It wasn't overly slippry and it looked really nice.

Ex's family was coming to dinner once we got the house into reasonable shape.  I did the majority of the cleaning, all the shopping, and cooked a nice meal.  Right before their arrival, I had to run out and get soft drinks.  Ex asked if he could do anything while I was gone, and I said if he wanted to give the bathroom floor a quick mop, that would be great.

I went to the store, and when I came home, he was hard at work.  I walked into the bathroom to ask him something, only to find he was using a sponge and the toilet water to "clean" the floor.  I was horrified.  I was beyond squicked out.  I actually broke down and cried.  Then I took the hottest water I could stand, and some disinfectant floor cleaner, and went over every inch.

HGolightly, I am guessing your daughter is a youngster who didn't know any better.  Ex is a grown man.  I remember asking him what he was thinking, and he didn't really have a good answer.  To this day, I can barely stand to remember that mental picture, of him dipping that sponge where it didn't need to go. 

It makes the time he ruined my kitchen floor by using pure bleach look so much better by comparison!    ;)

I think that he didn't want to get the bucket out and wash the floor properly, because that would be more work.  Naturally, he didn't want to share that information with you.  Since the water in the commode looked clean, he thought that it would do.  He didn't expect you to walk in and "catch" him.

but if he was being lazy then he could have filled up the sink and used that!

Shalamar

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Re: Stop helping me! (Share your stories)
« Reply #448 on: April 14, 2014, 04:56:12 PM »
Quote
OBFF tried to foist a dining table on us that I positively hated and did not match the style of our house at all

Ooh, that reminds me of what my husband and I went through with his mother a few years ago.  We were looking for a new couch.  MIL announced that her cousin, who had dementia and had to move into a seniors' home, no longer needed her livingroom set.  We could buy that!   The conversation went something like this:

Us:  No, thank you.
MIL:  Why not?  It's a nice set.  It's almost new.
Us:  Well, first, we want new, not "almost" new.  Second, we want it to be a set that we choose.
MIL:   Suit yourselves.  You're missing out, though.

Fast-forward to two weeks later:

MIL:   Good news!  I spoke to my cousin, and when she was having one of her lucid moments, she said you could have her livingroom set for free.

MIL was bewildered and annoyed when we still (politely) refused.   

doodlemor

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Re: Stop helping me! (Share your stories)
« Reply #449 on: April 14, 2014, 05:03:12 PM »
I will keep this vague as the results were pretty gross.  My dd decided to help me with my chores the other night. She used the water from the toilet. I will say it is very clean now as I redid her cleaning job with bleach and followed up with some Mrs Meyers.

I know of what you speak!  There is a saga related to why ex was no longer permitted to clean the bathroom.

We got a deal on our first home, as it needed a lot of work, and I do mean a whole lot.  We had to gut the bathroom down to the boards.  The previous owners had installed, (obviously by themselves), a very slippery and shoddy-looking ceramic tile in there.  I needed something inexpensive and nice-looking to replace it, so we went with those linoleum type tiles that stick.  It wasn't overly slippry and it looked really nice.

Ex's family was coming to dinner once we got the house into reasonable shape.  I did the majority of the cleaning, all the shopping, and cooked a nice meal.  Right before their arrival, I had to run out and get soft drinks.  Ex asked if he could do anything while I was gone, and I said if he wanted to give the bathroom floor a quick mop, that would be great.

I went to the store, and when I came home, he was hard at work.  I walked into the bathroom to ask him something, only to find he was using a sponge and the toilet water to "clean" the floor.  I was horrified.  I was beyond squicked out.  I actually broke down and cried.  Then I took the hottest water I could stand, and some disinfectant floor cleaner, and went over every inch.

HGolightly, I am guessing your daughter is a youngster who didn't know any better.  Ex is a grown man.  I remember asking him what he was thinking, and he didn't really have a good answer.  To this day, I can barely stand to remember that mental picture, of him dipping that sponge where it didn't need to go. 

It makes the time he ruined my kitchen floor by using pure bleach look so much better by comparison!    ;)

I think that he didn't want to get the bucket out and wash the floor properly, because that would be more work.  Naturally, he didn't want to share that information with you.  Since the water in the commode looked clean, he thought that it would do.  He didn't expect you to walk in and "catch" him.

but if he was being lazy then he could have filled up the sink and used that!

I don't know is lazy is exactly the word I had in mind, but I see how you would think that.  I believe that Wild One's husband was thoroughly unfastidious, and didn't think that the toilet water was particularly dirty and would be fine to use.   He was probably totally dumbfounded when she cried.

As far as using the sink goes, I think that to him the toilet was more efficient because it sounds like he was on his hands and knees using a sponge.  If he used the sink he have to keep bending up and down.  The toilet was closer to the floor.