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Author Topic: Stop helping me! (Share your stories)  (Read 188451 times)

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GratefulMaria

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Re: Stop helping me! (Share your stories)
« Reply #540 on: April 22, 2014, 06:44:50 PM »
Some of these posts are reminding me of things I've apparently tried very hard to forget.

When we built our house ten years ago, there was a gap between the closing on our old place and when the new one would be ready for occupancy.  I'd wanted to just take a short-term rental and deal with it, but my parents (my father especially) wanted us to stay with them.  Two months.  Single-story ranch, two senior citizens, two adults, two kids 11 and 14.  DH was worried about the money and went along with it.  I had spelled everything out to my parents ("are you sure?"), and even though construction was on schedule they kept asking when it would be done.  Really wish I'd had my spine back then; it was a terrible time.

I learned a lot about my boundaries and what I valued in those weeks.

jane7166

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Re: Stop helping me! (Share your stories)
« Reply #541 on: April 23, 2014, 08:39:16 AM »
A friend just came back to the gym after a 2 week absence - her son had gotten married and she had been busy with all of that. In the locker room, I kidded her about being a brand new MIL and asked her how she was doing at that new role. 

Another friend overheard and gave this helpful advice:  keep your mouth shut. 

That exchange seems appropriate for this thread somehow. 

hermanne

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Re: Stop helping me! (Share your stories)
« Reply #542 on: April 23, 2014, 11:08:58 AM »
Mild but annoying...

If DH sees dishes on the counter, he'll put them in the sink. This includes my tea mug that I purposely leave out so I can fix myself more tea. DH is admittedly on autopilot when he does this, so I try to leave my mug in a place he won't easily notice. When I forget and leave it by the sink, I'm later fishing it out of the sink.
Bad spellers of the world, UNTIE!




Yvaine

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Re: Stop helping me! (Share your stories)
« Reply #543 on: April 23, 2014, 11:09:44 AM »
Mild but annoying...

If DH sees dishes on the counter, he'll put them in the sink. This includes my tea mug that I purposely leave out so I can fix myself more tea. DH is admittedly on autopilot when he does this, so I try to leave my mug in a place he won't easily notice. When I forget and leave it by the sink, I'm later fishing it out of the sink.

Oh yes! I came up with the term "active mug" for that.  ;D "Nononono, don't take that one, that's my active mug!"

TootsNYC

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Re: Stop helping me! (Share your stories)
« Reply #544 on: April 23, 2014, 11:26:57 AM »
Mild but annoying...

If DH sees dishes on the counter, he'll put them in the sink. This includes my tea mug that I purposely leave out so I can fix myself more tea. DH is admittedly on autopilot when he does this, so I try to leave my mug in a place he won't easily notice. When I forget and leave it by the sink, I'm later fishing it out of the sink.

Maybe you need one of these:
http://www.beeinourbonnet.com/2011/12/coaster-tray.html
http://momcrieff.com/avoiding-kitchen-counter-cup-clutter/

Or some other specialty coaster that says "this is my mug I'm using today, leave it alone"?

My DH will throw out your half-drunk soda, or the last 2 inches of your drink from dinner. Even if you *tell* him, "I'm still drinking this," if he sees it, he'll dump it.

My DD and I tried everything on the spectrum, from explaining, pre-emptively announcing, getting mad afterward.

I even pointed out to him, that HE does this w/ his own glass on the kitchen counter. And will toss mine, even if it's sitting right next to his. I told him I didn't want to start throwing his glass of water out and putting it in the dishwasher.

(I'd get one of those coaster-type solutions, but I really don't think it would work--he'd throw out your drink and put the coaster away.)

He doesn't do it as much
« Last Edit: April 23, 2014, 11:29:40 AM by TootsNYC »

HGolightly

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Re: Stop helping me! (Share your stories)
« Reply #545 on: April 23, 2014, 11:36:22 AM »
Thank you Yvaine! I will be adopting that one.

TheWeirdOne

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Re: Stop helping me! (Share your stories)
« Reply #546 on: May 19, 2014, 10:08:48 PM »
TheNormalGuy and I are moving in together after living with our respective parents. Normal Guy's mother insists on bringing over all his stuff straight away (before we even had furniture) and stashing it in the garage after he specifically told her not to (he was going to get them himself in a few days once we had bookcases). So now all his books are jammed into overstuffed bags, including ones he borrowed from friends and special first editions. Also, those clothes we asked you not to bring round? Well, as the place you left them has a bug infestation*, we now have to rewash all these bags of clean clothes before we can bring them into the house.

Apparently my mother wanted to get into the action and dragged all those books 'out of the way' into an awkward place because she 'had nothing to do', and has 'moved heaps of times, so I know better than you', despite me telling her not to move them. This happened on the same day that the bookcases arrived. Guess who got to retrieve all those books while injured?

*Bugs have since been taken care of, but we still had to rewash everything just in case.

zyrs

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Re: Stop helping me! (Share your stories)
« Reply #547 on: May 19, 2014, 10:28:36 PM »
TheNormalGuy and I are moving in together after living with our respective parents. Normal Guy's mother insists on bringing over all his stuff straight away (before we even had furniture) and stashing it in the garage after he specifically told her not to (he was going to get them himself in a few days once we had bookcases). So now all his books are jammed into overstuffed bags, including ones he borrowed from friends and special first editions. Also, those clothes we asked you not to bring round? Well, as the place you left them has a bug infestation*, we now have to rewash all these bags of clean clothes before we can bring them into the house.

Apparently my mother wanted to get into the action and dragged all those books 'out of the way' into an awkward place because she 'had nothing to do', and has 'moved heaps of times, so I know better than you', despite me telling her not to move them. This happened on the same day that the bookcases arrived. Guess who got to retrieve all those books while injured?

*Bugs have since been taken care of, but we still had to rewash everything just in case.

((TheWeirdOne/TheNormalGuy)))

PastryGoddess

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Re: Stop helping me! (Share your stories)
« Reply #548 on: May 19, 2014, 11:05:29 PM »
You know TheWeirdOne, I'm pretty sure that if for some reason you appeared in front of a jury of your peers. Not one of them would convict you :)

Also, I hear they make high strength LVL clue-by-fours.  You can get them at your local lumber yard. ;)

Marisol

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Re: Stop helping me! (Share your stories)
« Reply #549 on: May 20, 2014, 09:11:35 AM »
My mom does the same thing with my water glass. When I visit my parents I am staying with them, so I understand it's her house and her rules, but she has a habit of cleaning up anything and everything that is out even if we are using or working on it.  So I will get a glass of water, set it down, walk out of the room, and when I come back moments later it is in the dishwasher.  I have to announce my glass is in use everytime I do anything away from its exact location.

Dad gets more frustrated as she likes to put away his works in progress while glue is setting or paint drying (model cars).  She doesn't move the model, but will put away everything else he was going to use after the glue/paint dries.

BabyMama

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Re: Stop helping me! (Share your stories)
« Reply #550 on: May 20, 2014, 11:06:13 AM »
My mom thinks she is "helping" by keeping my DD amused when we go out to eat. But she doesn't do this by helping her color, or engaging her in conversation--her solution is to either a) take DD on random walks around the restaurant (the waitstaff LOVES that  ::) ) or giving her her phone or iPad to play on.

DD is almost 7. I feel at that age she should be expected to be able to at least sit through dinner without playing Angry Birds! I sure was :P

doodlemor

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Re: Stop helping me! (Share your stories)
« Reply #551 on: May 20, 2014, 03:24:13 PM »
TheNormalGuy and I are moving in together after living with our respective parents. Normal Guy's mother insists on bringing over all his stuff straight away (before we even had furniture) and stashing it in the garage after he specifically told her not to (he was going to get them himself in a few days once we had bookcases). So now all his books are jammed into overstuffed bags, including ones he borrowed from friends and special first editions. Also, those clothes we asked you not to bring round? Well, as the place you left them has a bug infestation*, we now have to rewash all these bags of clean clothes before we can bring them into the house.

Apparently my mother wanted to get into the action and dragged all those books 'out of the way' into an awkward place because she 'had nothing to do', and has 'moved heaps of times, so I know better than you', despite me telling her not to move them. This happened on the same day that the bookcases arrived. Guess who got to retrieve all those books while injured?

*Bugs have since been taken care of, but we still had to rewash everything just in case.

Sounds like time to either change or purchase locks. 

ladyknight1

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Re: Stop helping me! (Share your stories)
« Reply #552 on: May 20, 2014, 03:33:50 PM »
Stylists that want to thread my already invisible eyebrows.

DH, who helps me by sitting at the computer when I need to use it then sighs loudly when I ask him to move for a few minutes.

Neither DH or DS will pack for an event more than 24 hours in advance. Maybe their clothes expire if in a bag?  :-\
ďAll that is gold does not glitter, Not all those who wander are lost; The old that is strong does not wither, Deep roots are not reached by the frost."
-J.R.R Tolkien

wolfie

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Re: Stop helping me! (Share your stories)
« Reply #553 on: May 20, 2014, 03:36:18 PM »
Stylists that want to thread my already invisible eyebrows.

DH, who helps me by sitting at the computer when I need to use it then sighs loudly when I ask him to move for a few minutes.

Neither DH or DS will pack for an event more than 24 hours in advance. Maybe their clothes expire if in a bag?  :-\

okay I don't get why the last one is a problem. I don't pack that far in advance either. The day before is the perfect time to pack for someplace.

ladyknight1

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Re: Stop helping me! (Share your stories)
« Reply #554 on: May 20, 2014, 03:39:39 PM »
Oh, it is usually an hour before. Even if they had plenty of time to do so. It used to make us late, but I just leave without the person who is still packing when it is time to go.  >:D They get a 30 minute, 15 minute and 5 minute warning.
ďAll that is gold does not glitter, Not all those who wander are lost; The old that is strong does not wither, Deep roots are not reached by the frost."
-J.R.R Tolkien