Author Topic: Do not speak to me in the lunch room!  (Read 7353 times)

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wolfie

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Re: Do not speak to me in the lunch room!
« Reply #30 on: March 06, 2014, 02:43:18 PM »

So, enter newgirl (8 months now, so not really new).
She came into the break room and said Hi Goldlilocks.   I replied Hi.
She then said, "I'm going to send you.. --- and I said STOP.
She looked rather blank, and continued "about the XX project"
--- and again I said Stop.   I added - you can send me whateve you want and you can come talk to me after lunch, but you cannot speak to me now.


You know what?  I'm going to disagree that the OP was incredibly rude.

I believe that if you are in the "break room" you are on break.  Unless it is an emergency, why make someone deal with work on their break.

And newgirl decided to keep going after being told to STOP by a manager.  And it was only after she kept going that the OP had to tell her to STOP again.  And then she offered newgirl the option to send what she wanted and even to come by and talk to the OP after lunch.  Apparently the OP had to be very forceful and obvious in order to make it clear to newgirl that the OP's official break time is not an appropriate time to disturb her. Especially when it is for something as mundane as "I'm going to send you an email". 

I believe that the OP may have sounded forceable, but not rude. And it turned out that the force was needed.  And then the OP went and offered the newgirl a better time to speak to her.

OP, I don't think you are unreasonable at all.  Here's hoping that newgirl has learned something.

Based on what we were told, I don't think the newgirl had any idea what the OP's "STOP" was supposed to mean.  The OP could have easily said, "Hey, I'm eating - come find me at my desk when I'm off break."  The way she handled it was confusing, demeaning, and unecessarily rude.

I'm not sure the newgirl had any idea either.  But when a manager tells me to STOP, I stop.  I might follow that up with something along the lines of "Okay. Do you want me to come back later?"  Not "I'm going to send you..." ---"STOP"--- "an email about xxxx project".

But the word stop doesn't help. Stop what? Stop talking? Stop talking about work? Stop moving? Stop you are about to step on a landmine? Stop there is a spider on you? If someone just said stop I would give a pause to let them tell me what I need to stop and why and if they say nothing keep going.

alkira6

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Re: Do not speak to me in the lunch room!
« Reply #31 on: March 06, 2014, 02:46:22 PM »
You do owe her an apology. I would approach her with a sincere apology and use the wording one of the previous posters used.  You have every right to an interruption free lunch and quite frankly I'm surprised at the number of people who think that it's fine to be constantly interrupted. Different strokes I guess.


*This is coming from a teacher who has been followed to the bathroom and spoken through the door to while I'm trying to do my business.  I have literally had to hide in a storage closet to get 10 minutes to eat a piece of fruit and have a bottle of water.  Big defender of breaks.

Luci

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Re: Do not speak to me in the lunch room!
« Reply #32 on: March 06, 2014, 02:47:41 PM »
Goldi said she knew she was rude.

I would have dealt with the problem months ago - 8 months is a long time - before you blew it. When things were calm. Just, "Please don't waste time [yes, I would say that] telling me you sent an email. I'll see it and deal with it when I receive it."

Then later, "Please don't talk to me about work when I'm on lunch break. I'll get your note later. Thanks."


meronym

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Re: Do not speak to me in the lunch room!
« Reply #33 on: March 06, 2014, 02:52:47 PM »
Goldi said she knew she was rude.

I would have dealt with the problem months ago - 8 months is a long time - before you blew it. When things were calm. Just, "Please don't waste time [yes, I would say that] telling me you sent an email. I'll see it and deal with it when I receive it."

Then later, "Please don't talk to me about work when I'm on lunch break. I'll get your note later. Thanks."

Unless I missed it, I don't see where this has been an issue before. It sounds like this was the New Girl's first offense.

misha412

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Re: Do not speak to me in the lunch room!
« Reply #34 on: March 06, 2014, 02:54:04 PM »
For the future, I would have a set phrase to use for anyone who approached me on my break:

Co-worker: Hey misha412, I need to talk to you about project...
Me: I'm on my lunchbreak now. Unless its an emergency, come talk to me after lunch.
Co-worker: It will only take a moment..
Me: I'm on my lunchbreak. Come by later.

Rinse, repeat.

Personally, I cannot stand it when someone has to tell me they are sending me or just sent me an email. The exception is when someone forwards me an urgent email accidentally sent to them, that I have to handle. "Hey. Customer X just sent me an email, their order was sent to the wrong location. They're not happy."

HannahGrace

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Re: Do not speak to me in the lunch room!
« Reply #35 on: March 06, 2014, 02:56:09 PM »
You do owe her an apology. I would approach her with a sincere apology and use the wording one of the previous posters used.  You have every right to an interruption free lunch and quite frankly I'm surprised at the number of people who think that it's fine to be constantly interrupted. Different strokes I guess.


*This is coming from a teacher who has been followed to the bathroom and spoken through the door to while I'm trying to do my business.  I have literally had to hide in a storage closet to get 10 minutes to eat a piece of fruit and have a bottle of water.  Big defender of breaks.

I don't think most of us think it's fine... we're just accustomed to it :)  Even during the (literally) one time that I left the building for lunch at my current job, I got texts and a call while I was out. 

veronaz

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Re: Do not speak to me in the lunch room!
« Reply #36 on: March 06, 2014, 03:00:11 PM »
Quote
Even during the (literally) one time that I left the building for lunch at my current job, I got texts and a call while I was out.

Just because someone calls and texts during your lunch hour doesn't mean you have to answer (until you're back on duty).

AzaleaBloom

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Re: Do not speak to me in the lunch room!
« Reply #37 on: March 06, 2014, 03:02:32 PM »
My supervisor takes break time very seriously.  Therefore, he does not want me disrupting mine to help a maintenance guy who needs something.  If they do ask me for something (I generally take my breaks at my desk since it's the only quiet place in the facility), I tell them how much longer until I'm off break.  That way, they know I will help them, and they can come back.

Maybe something like that can work for you?  So, if you get bothered halfway through a 30 minute break, tell them nicely that you'll help them in 15 minutes.  It acknowledges their need without disrupting your break.

cattlekid

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Re: Do not speak to me in the lunch room!
« Reply #38 on: March 06, 2014, 03:15:37 PM »
I've had similar situations before.  The first time, I was on a different shift than most of the people in my area in order to provide 12 hour coverage.  So I would be eating lunch when most of the other folks would be on calls.  I would eat at my desk and while most people didn't bother me while I was eating, there were a couple who would always stop by my desk.  It got to the point that others who were on shift would intercept them before they got to me to answer their questions.   I will admit to asking them if they could come back at a certain time and not answering their questions, but I always tried to do it in a polite, albeit short, manner.

Currently, I still eat at my desk but I'm not in a support role.  Since most of what we deal with is not time-sensitive, if someone stops by and sees me eating, they will always ask if it's a good time.  Sometimes the answer is yes, and sometimes it's no but they are always respectful either way.  It helps that they know that if I tell them I will stop by at x time, I will be there and won't leave them hanging. 

HannahGrace

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Re: Do not speak to me in the lunch room!
« Reply #39 on: March 06, 2014, 03:24:34 PM »
Quote
Even during the (literally) one time that I left the building for lunch at my current job, I got texts and a call while I was out.

Just because someone calls and texts during your lunch hour doesn't mean you have to answer (until you're back on duty).

I guess technically not, but depending on the type of job, it can be more or less expected.  Luckily I really like my job so these annoyances are tolerable even if I wish I could finish my sandwich in peace some days.

tinkytinky

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Re: Do not speak to me in the lunch room!
« Reply #40 on: March 06, 2014, 03:29:41 PM »
if you are in the break room/lunch room, work questions should be left at the door. OP, you might try earphones (even if they aren't turned on) that might be a visual clue so others remember not to disturb you. If people think you are listening to music, books or even talk radio, they tend to wait with questions unless they are absolutely important. And no, it isn't rude to have that rule. I wish we had a rule like that for our whole break area......"no work merchandise beyond this point"

I am a visual person so it does no good for anyone to try to talk to me about work items unless I am able to see what they are talking about. If its on my computer, I have to be at my computer to understand what they are saying. So somebody interupting me at lunch, or even away from my desk will probably get a slightly dazed look because I can't picture what they are trying to communicate with me.

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TeamBhakta

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Re: Do not speak to me in the lunch room!
« Reply #41 on: March 06, 2014, 03:58:59 PM »
Quote

I would be making a complaint about you if you spoke to me like that in a work environment, whether it was your lunchbreak or not.

I'd love to be a fly on the wall if that happened
"Hey, Mr HR, you get a second ? Suzy told me to stop talking to her while she was eating lunch."
"And ?"
"It hurt my feelings"
"*tries not to choke on coffee laughing*"

SamiHami

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Re: Do not speak to me in the lunch room!
« Reply #42 on: March 06, 2014, 04:00:27 PM »
Yes, I was rude, however, I'm pretty sure everyone in the building knows this quirk of mine.  when I say buildling - I'm talking about 25 people, not a massive dept.

My question was more along the lines of - is it really so bad to have this rule?  

And I have to admit - I have a special pet peeve about people who either tell me they are going to send me an email, or people who come to tell me they just sent me an email.

I don't think so. Particularly if you have a very demanding or intense job. I find that having that break to decompress is very important to be able to come back and tackle the second half of the day well. I do think you were rude, though, and should have just said something like, "I am on my break, so please wait until I am back in my office to talk to me about work." Then if she continued you would have been justified in being a little more firm.

Personally, I don't see it as a "quirk," as someone upthread described it. I think it's an entirely reasonable and necessary thing and a little snowflakey of others to bother you if you are obviously on a break (barring some sort of work emergency that cannot wait).

What have you got? Is it food? Is it for me? I want it whatever it is!

cicero

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Re: Do not speak to me in the lunch room!
« Reply #43 on: March 06, 2014, 04:13:29 PM »
That is one of the reasons I move to the break room and not my desk.   I can understand people seeing me at my desk and thinkging I am working ( which I probably am), and also I cannot ignore a ringing phone so I'll pick it up even if I'm trying to eat. 

I just not sure that it's unreasonable to ask someone to wait 30 minutes until I finish lunch.  If I left the building every day for lunch, it'd be at least an hour that I'm gone.
I don't think the rule is unreasonable ( i think you reaction was rude but yu already know that) . And I feel for you - we don't have a break room so 99% of the time I just eat at my desk like everyone else. However the problem is that my office is the main office so the phone continues to ring, copier jams, couriers walk in with forms to sign, etc. I say things like:
*Is that an emergency? If not, I'll deal with it I a few minutes
* I'm having my lunch now, I'll take care of*the issue* when I finish



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doodlemor

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Re: Do not speak to me in the lunch room!
« Reply #44 on: March 06, 2014, 04:29:52 PM »
The OP has already said that she regrets her handling of the incident. 

I think that the new person was quite clueless and also rather rude to ask her a question during lunch, and to keep talking after she first said "stop."  It sounds like the new employee is rather impetuous, and has a one track mind.

When I was teaching our only real break was a half hour lunch.  When the kids were off at a special we were either correcting papers, preparing lessons, or contacting parents - all done at warp speed.  One clueless secretary had to be told by the principal not to tell parents that we would be able to return a call during our lunch, since we barely had time to eat.

The half hour was not a whole half hour to eat, either, because in that time period we had to either buy or heat up our own lunch, walk to the staff room or our classroom to eat, and use the restroom.  Absolutely we had to be back on the minute to collect the children again, because they would be lined up and waiting.  Being kids, if they waited too long they tended to find unacceptable fun things to do in the interim.