Author Topic: Friend applying for the same position you are?  (Read 4299 times)

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Ginger G

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Re: Friend applying for the same position you are?
« Reply #15 on: March 12, 2014, 01:38:34 PM »
Years ago, the company I worked for was moving the corporate office where I worked to another state, so my coworker friends and I were all in the job market.  Since jobs in our field are fairly limited, we frequently found ourselves appyling for the same jobs.  We mutually agreed not to discuss our job searches until one of us had actually received an offer.  Eventually I did accept an offer, and of course it turned out that one of my friends had interviewed as well.  Fortunately, she was perfectly understanding and happy for me.  She was actually the lucky one though, that job quickly turned out to be a nightmare and I only lasted there 3 months. 

earthgirl

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Re: Friend applying for the same position you are?
« Reply #16 on: March 14, 2014, 10:31:02 AM »
A few years ago, a position became available within our organization.  At the time, I worked very closely with 3 other people, and I did consider them friends (albeit, work friends) -- they were at my wedding, etc.  My coworkers and I all met the job requirements, and it was a significant promotion.  After a little bit of encouragement from my supervisor and DH, I applied, and was pretty open about the fact that I was doing so.  A few days later, one of my co-workers came up to me with a kind of sheepish look on his face and told me that he, too, had thrown his hat in the ring.  It was clear that he felt awkward about it ((I think his words were, "I think I might have done something that you won't like."), and I assured him that I didn't expect everybody else to step back just because I wanted the position.  We went through the process together, we took the "exam" sitting next to each other (silently), and wished each other luck when we crossed paths in the parking lot as I was leaving my interview and he was entering.  I didn'thelp him study for the exam or prep for the interview because we were competing for the same position, and of course I'd prefer to get the job over him, but I certainly didn't harbor any ill will toward him for wanting the same thing I did.

On the other hand, one of my other co-workers said absolutely nothing about the job opening.  She didn't come to work on the day of the exam, and left the office at lunchtime without a word, the day after my interview.  I found out later that she had applied for the job as well (though I had suspected).

I felt very different about my two co-workers after that situation -- while of course the second co-worker had every right to apply for that job, and she probably had her reasons for not wanting to disclose that information to me, it still just didn't sit quite right with me. 

So, long story short --  while I don't think it's rude for your friend to ask you about the details of your job application, OP, I *do* believe it's a little rude if he's not being honest (even if just by omission) about why he wants those details.  I like the suggestion from a PP who said that you should say, "Why do you ask?" which just kind of forces his hand.

DavidH

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Re: Friend applying for the same position you are?
« Reply #17 on: March 18, 2014, 02:55:29 PM »
"... when I've mentioned to him any phone interviews, screenings, and that I now have an on-site interview set up this week he starts asking certain questions.  He asks the company name, position, pay, where I found the listing, and so on.  To me it sounds like he's thinking of applying for the position too.  Now this is an assumption since he hasn't stated he intends to do so, just a possibility due to the types of questions he's asking."

With the exception of pay, those are the questions anyone might ask if they are interested in your life and what is happening.  It seems to me a reasonable response to someone telling you that they have a job interview on Tuesday is asking where, what job, that kind of thing.  Asking where you found the listing could be a mix of general conversation and seeking information about good places to look for job postings, but either way I don't think it's rude.  I find asking about salary someone intrusive.  It depends a bit on whether you are in the same field and his is asking for general information or whether it is intended to ask how much you earn, which is definitely rude. 

Asking those questions so that your friend can apply for the job, particularly without telling you they intend to apply is rude, but simply asking is not.

Kiwichick

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Re: Friend applying for the same position you are?
« Reply #18 on: March 19, 2014, 06:31:06 PM »
A few years ago, a position became available within our organization.  At the time, I worked very closely with 3 other people, and I did consider them friends (albeit, work friends) -- they were at my wedding, etc.  My coworkers and I all met the job requirements, and it was a significant promotion.  After a little bit of encouragement from my supervisor and DH, I applied, and was pretty open about the fact that I was doing so.  A few days later, one of my co-workers came up to me with a kind of sheepish look on his face and told me that he, too, had thrown his hat in the ring.  It was clear that he felt awkward about it ((I think his words were, "I think I might have done something that you won't like."), and I assured him that I didn't expect everybody else to step back just because I wanted the position.  We went through the process together, we took the "exam" sitting next to each other (silently), and wished each other luck when we crossed paths in the parking lot as I was leaving my interview and he was entering.  I didn'thelp him study for the exam or prep for the interview because we were competing for the same position, and of course I'd prefer to get the job over him, but I certainly didn't harbor any ill will toward him for wanting the same thing I did.

On the other hand, one of my other co-workers said absolutely nothing about the job opening.  She didn't come to work on the day of the exam, and left the office at lunchtime without a word, the day after my interview.  I found out later that she had applied for the job as well (though I had suspected).

I felt very different about my two co-workers after that situation -- while of course the second co-worker had every right to apply for that job, and she probably had her reasons for not wanting to disclose that information to me, it still just didn't sit quite right with me. 

So, long story short --  while I don't think it's rude for your friend to ask you about the details of your job application, OP, I *do* believe it's a little rude if he's not being honest (even if just by omission) about why he wants those details.  I like the suggestion from a PP who said that you should say, "Why do you ask?" which just kind of forces his hand.

But your situation was entirely different.  The other two didn't apply for a job you found and told them about, which I think is unethical as well as rude.

You openly told others you were applying, she chose not to, neither position is rude or wrong.  It sounds a little like you believe she should share information simply because you chose to.  Also you don't know that you were the only one your supervisor encouraged to apply, he may well have encouraged both of them too. 

Alli8098

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Re: Friend applying for the same position you are?
« Reply #19 on: April 05, 2014, 12:53:31 PM »
So I did manage to get a job offer and I took the job and started this last Monday; it's been wonderful!  Friend is still looking for a new job (his is currently employed but looking for better pay), so far he has not had luck.  But I have confirmed he has applied for some of the same positions I have.  Whether it is rude or not I'm not angry with him.  The position I was hired for is below his salary requirements so I don't think he would have taken it if it had been offered. 

I feel lucky I thought maybe I was applying for a position for a large team that had a lot of openings.  But nope, it was one opening so I feel very lucky to have gotten it.

cicero

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Re: Friend applying for the same position you are?
« Reply #20 on: April 05, 2014, 10:52:14 PM »
Excellent! Good luck on your new job

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