When GCW asked them if I should be invited, they told her that I'd definitely give her a gift, but that I wouldn't want to go to the party. GCW said that it wasn't for the gift, but that she wanted me to be there. (I have really decided that there would be no reason to ask coworkers about it if she did want to invite me - but there would be if she did not want to but felt badly to exclude just one). So, after the discussion yesterday, GCW told them when I was out of the room that she felt uncomfortable discussing the party in front of me. And then, after GCW left for the day I was told that they were worried that GCW felt bad.
There is more to it though, since we make pastries and such, guess who will be catering most of the graduation party? Yep, we will. Some others are donating their time to the baking of rolls, cakes, etc. for the party. I'm hoping that I'm not scheduled for that, but if I am, that will be another issue for me to face. I think that I will stop being quiet about it, and at least say how it is making me uncomfortable. I really haven't said two words about it yet. I was too shocked, and for some reason embarrassed.
You know, I'm not feeling bad things about GCW. You and she don't work together often, so she didn't feel moved to invite you, but was worried she'd offend you if she didn't.
Her error was that she consulted these cretins!
If they weren't cretins, they'd have told her, "I don't think she'll really mind, and we'll all be discreet." And then they'd be DISCREET! for god's sake!! (sorry--little frustration moment)
So, she decided not to invite you, which you aren't all that insulted about (am I right?) And she sure didn't ask them to tell you why you weren't invited--they did that little piece of nastiness and exclusion all on their own. (and why? bcs they were feeling guilty, that's why, so they decided to confess to you so you'd hae to absolve them by not getting mad, so now they can say, "she wasn't upset.")
When these rude, rude people start talking about the party in front of you, she waited for an opportunity to tell you, "stop talking about it, I don't want to be rude to Runningstar," they feel guilty again, so what do they do? They tell you about it, so they can again feel better because they confessed, but they can also make it be YOUR FAULT.
If they say the tiniest thing again, you can say, "You know, you guys are being really unfair and rude to GCW and to me. You have made both of us very uncomfortable.
"If you were going to advise GCW to leave me off the invitation list, you should have kept mum about it TO ME. It's really, really rude to GCW for you to come to me and announce that! She asked you in confidence, and you blabbed. And to come to me to say, 'we told her not to invite you'? That's just hurtful. Even in first grade, I didn't do that to people.
"And now GCW has told you that -she- is uncomfortable talking about the party in front of me, and what do you do? You come and TELL ME. Instead of just keeping mum. That's really hurtful to me, and it's really unfair to her. Be discreet for your friends! Zip it up!"
And go get some more flour from the back.