Author Topic: Invitation Wording  (Read 2180 times)

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Margo

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Re: Invitation Wording
« Reply #15 on: March 17, 2014, 09:25:41 AM »
you could also alter the wording on the last one to 'wedding celebration' rather than 'wedding and celebration', which would indicate that you are inviting them to a celebration, not to  a formal wedding!

gellchom

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Re: Invitation Wording
« Reply #16 on: March 17, 2014, 02:02:39 PM »
Just please please please be CLEAR about everything.  So many people get so wound up in the style or tone or creativity of the invitation that the effect isn't what they want so much as ???????

As far as I am concerned, if this is "your wedding" in your eyes, then that's what it is.  I know that there are those who don't like calling events wedding when there has already been a legal or other ceremony already, and others (like me) who only dislike it in some circumstances.  But it doesn't matter what we think.  For you, it is the wedding.  There is no need for the invitation to advertise any of your circumstances.

So that is what the invitation should say.  I would use very traditional wording especially in your circumstances -- the more unusual or complicating factors there are, the more important it is to be crystal clear.  By "traditional," I don't mean "formal," I just mean wording that people are used to seeing and understand -- not something like "a celebration of our love" or "a reception honoring our new life."  I would be confused if I received something like that.  (And it does matter: if you invite me to your wedding, I will be there 15 minutes before the time you gave.  If you invite me to a "celebration" or a "reception," I will be there 10 minutes after.)

So I suggest something like:

Together with their families
ABC and XYZ
request the pleasure of your company
as they are married [or "at their wedding"]
date
time
place

TurtleDove

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Re: Invitation Wording
« Reply #17 on: March 17, 2014, 02:12:15 PM »
Just please please please be CLEAR about everything.  So many people get so wound up in the style or tone or creativity of the invitation that the effect isn't what they want so much as ???????
...  By "traditional," I don't mean "formal," I just mean wording that people are used to seeing and understand -- not something like "a celebration of our love" or "a reception honoring our new life."  I would be confused if I received something like that.  (And it does matter: if you invite me to your wedding, I will be there 15 minutes before the time you gave.  If you invite me to a "celebration" or a "reception," I will be there 10 minutes after.)

So I suggest something like:

Together with their families
ABC and XYZ
request the pleasure of your company
as they are married [or "at their wedding"]
date
time
place

gellchom, I agree, except this is not a wedding but a reaffirming of wedding vows, so I think that should be what it is billed as.  Wording could be, "as they affirm before friends and family the vows they took 2/1/14" (or whatever the actual date of the legal wedding was)

mime

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Re: Invitation Wording
« Reply #18 on: March 17, 2014, 03:16:49 PM »
Just please please please be CLEAR about everything.  So many people get so wound up in the style or tone or creativity of the invitation that the effect isn't what they want so much as ???????

As far as I am concerned, if this is "your wedding" in your eyes, then that's what it is.  I know that there are those who don't like calling events wedding when there has already been a legal or other ceremony already, and others (like me) who only dislike it in some circumstances.  But it doesn't matter what we think.  For you, it is the wedding.  There is no need for the invitation to advertise any of your circumstances.

So that is what the invitation should say.  I would use very traditional wording especially in your circumstances -- the more unusual or complicating factors there are, the more important it is to be crystal clear.  By "traditional," I don't mean "formal," I just mean wording that people are used to seeing and understand -- not something like "a celebration of our love" or "a reception honoring our new life."  I would be confused if I received something like that.  (And it does matter: if you invite me to your wedding, I will be there 15 minutes before the time you gave.  If you invite me to a "celebration" or a "reception," I will be there 10 minutes after.)

So I suggest something like:

Together with their families
ABC and XYZ
request the pleasure of your company
as they are married [or "at their wedding"]
date
time
place

gellchom's sentiments and suggestions get my vote.

gellchom

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Re: Invitation Wording
« Reply #19 on: March 17, 2014, 04:47:48 PM »
gellchom, I agree, except this is not a wedding but a reaffirming of wedding vows, so I think that should be what it is billed as.  Wording could be, "as they affirm before friends and family the vows they took 2/1/14" (or whatever the actual date of the legal wedding was)
I understand your point, but did you read this, above, from the OP?
Hmmm...I suppose part of it depends what you're calling this event.  She surprised you with a legal wedding a few weeks ago when you were visiting your uncle...or am I mixing you up with another poster?

That is us, but we are still calling this our wedding. I know it's complicated and non-traditional. But that was our "we have to do this for it be legal" wedding, this is our "real" wedding. Since we couldn't have both in the same place legally. We just a bit extra with the legal one because my great uncle was there.
I know others disagree and insist that people in the OP's position not call events like this a "wedding." But especially for people like same-sex couples in states without marriage equality who MUST have the legal and the local celebratory ceremony separate, that seems unkind to me.  If this is what feels like and functions as their "real wedding" to them -- not a second big shindig, but the important, significant ceremony for them, even though the one necessary for government recognition was done earlier -- then as far as I am concerned, society should honor that.  I think of the same sex couples I know who have gone to other states to have a quick civil ceremony, sometimes before, sometimes after, their local wedding; it never made any difference.  It was their wedding, and that was that.  I am sure I would have felt different if they had a big celebration another time and place.  But that's not what the OP is doing.  This isn't just an affirmation; to them, and evidently to their families and friends, it's what is really marrying them, just as it would be for a couple for whom religious vows are much more important than government requirements.

Anyway, the question is what should the invitation say, and as I wrote above, clarity is paramount in that inquiry.  Not clarity as to the government's interests (which isn't the guests' business and doesn't affect them), but clarity as to what the guests are going to be attending.  If it's to be a ceremony followed by a reception, then call it a wedding.  If it's just a reception, then call it that.

With all due respect, this is why I don't like wording like this, suggested by Maude:

Quote
COME CELEBRATE
the union of
Glitter and Partner!

There will be a (party, shindig, knees-up, ) with family and friends
at(place)
on(date)
from(time) until late.
And I would feel that way irrespective of whether there were one or two ceremonies involved.  The problem is that I can't tell what I am being invited to if I'm being invited "to celebrate someone's union" or a "celebration of their love."  Give guests a break and be clear.  If it's to be some kind of ceremony or ritual, tell me so.

I also disagree that whether or not their parents are paying for anything makes any difference in whether they are named as hosts in the invitation.  If they are in any sense hosts, and the couple wants to acknowledge that, as the OP says they do, then they should.  It is truly no one's business who pays for what.  (My daughter hasn't finalized her invitation wording yet, but we would be happy to list her fiance's parents as hosts right along with us, even though they are not paying for anything; conversely, I am very sure that my mother will insist that she not be listed as a host, even though she is helping us pay.)  There is more than one way to share the role of hosts.

TurtleDove

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Re: Invitation Wording
« Reply #20 on: March 17, 2014, 04:56:09 PM »
gelchom, I did read that from the OP and I addressed it in an earlier post.  To me, it seems that gay and lesbian couples (and their straight supporters) fought hard for the legal right to marry.  To me, if the OP says her upcoming event is her "real wedding," it is then confusing that the legal wedding was not "real" to her.  Why did we all fight so gay and lesbian people can legally marry if it has no real meaning to them?

Now, I am not saying that I think legal marriage means nothing to the OP.  I am just saying that by minimizing/ignoring that the legal right "means somthing" and saying the upcoming event is the "real wedding" it confuses things.

Just my perspective.

oh - and to be clear, I think the upcoming event should be fully supported and celebrated!!!!  Just as a reaffirmation of vows and not as a first wedding.

GlitterIsMyDrug

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Re: Invitation Wording
« Reply #21 on: March 17, 2014, 05:30:26 PM »
This is our wedding. We are calling it our wedding. We will walk down an aisle, we will exchange personal vows (as opposed to the generic ones we exchanged before), and then we will have a kick butt party.

Yes, legal paperwork has been filed. Yes, there was an exchange of vows so that we could get that legal paperwork. But because we can't have our wedding in our home state and have it be legal, is why they were separate. Not because the legality is unimportant. But because our state still says we can't be treated the same as everyone else. We have to be different. If we resided in lets say New York, where same sex marriage is just the same opposite sex marriage, we would not have two separate shindigs. But we don't live in New York. Or any other state that has legalized same sex marriage. We live in a state with a ban on same sex marriage. So we got our marriage license in another state. So that we can be allowed to have them federal rights as John and Jane Smith who were fortune enough to be in a heterosexual relationship. We just did it now because...well we were there and my great uncle was there, and some our family had shown up, so sure, why not just do it now. One less trip to take later.

All of that aside, you all have given us some great ideas about how to word our invitations. Especially getting from our names to the hey you're invited bit. Without it being too clunky. Thank you!

Margo

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Re: Invitation Wording
« Reply #22 on: March 20, 2014, 05:03:54 PM »
Whatever you say on the invitation, I hope you have a fantastic Wedding and that your both have a great time on the day!

Chonsil

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Re: Invitation Wording
« Reply #23 on: March 20, 2014, 06:52:54 PM »
Some ideas here:
http://offbeatbride.com/2007/12/wedding-invitation-wording-that-wont-make-you-barf#.Uytv3ah_sUU

Some of them are a bit too cutesy and off the wall for my taste (and just ignore the section dealing with invitations that have "special requests") but if you have a look through there may be some phrases that may strike the right chord for you.

LtPowers

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Re: Invitation Wording
« Reply #24 on: March 22, 2014, 11:16:00 AM »
Keep in mind that if the guests of honor are also the hosts, it's customary to phrase the invitation in the passive voice (e.g., "You are invited..." not "We invite you...").


Powers  &8^]