Author Topic: Roommate Hell.....  (Read 23347 times)

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hopeful4

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Roommate Hell.....
« on: March 14, 2014, 08:41:08 AM »
Just thinking about the thread regarding the roommate's guests helping themselves to any food in the kitchen no matter to whom it belonged.  What is your roommate hell story? 

I replied about my first college roommate who was a townie and so had a lot of local friends who would visit.  They would help themselves to my pop.  She had to know it was mine as she only stocked diet pop.  She never mentioned it or replaced what her visitors took but rolled her eyes when I mentioned it. 

The other issue I had with her was she was a night owl while I had early classes.  No matte how quiet I would try to be in the morning, it was never quiet enough.  I even took to wrapping a belt around the handles of my closet door so that it wasn't open but wasn't totally closed as the doors would make a clicking sound when opened or closed.  That wasn't good enough for her.  But it did not stop her from playing her music so loudly at night that I could hear it at 1 or 2 in the morning as I tried to sleep, even though she wore earbuds. 

I am sure I was not the perfect roommate but all the effort to get along seemed to be on my side.  I know I am not the only one with a bad roommate story.  What is yours?

mechtilde

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Re: Roommate Hell.....
« Reply #1 on: March 14, 2014, 08:44:56 AM »
One of my roommates was always on a diet- but couldn't resist pulling chunks out from the underside of my cake with her fingers, thinking no-one would notice...

Not to mention the time she cut up some raw chicken and then put the chopping board back unwashed!

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camlan

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Re: Roommate Hell.....
« Reply #2 on: March 14, 2014, 08:59:48 AM »
I had a college roommate who jumped out of bed one morning yelling that I was making too much noise and had woken her up. At the time, I was folding a flannel nightgown. Never been really sure what she thought she had heard.

I mean, she was so insistent that I be quiet in the mornings that I did not use an alarm clock. I'd get out of bed, pick up the clothes I'd laid out the night before (so I wouldn't have to open the dresser drawers or closet), open the door as quietly as possible, and head for the bathroom to shower, get dressed and do my hair. I'd come back to the room, pull my sheets up but not really make the bed, fold my nightgown, put on my shoes, grab my knapsack and leave.

But that was still too much noise. And then she'd complain that my bed looked messy until I got back to the room around 2 or 3 pm to make it.

It got to the point where I'd just ignore what she was saying, wait until she finished, say "Sorry" and get on with my life.

Another roommate in college. The college near enough to my grandmother that I could take public transportation out to see her. It was about an hour and a half each way, so I visited only a few times a semester. Grandma invited me out for a special birthday dinner. Then as a birthday gift, she gave me a batch of her famous cookies. She didn't have much money, but she was an incredibly good baker. I also knew that her arthritis made baking difficult for her, so this was a gift of love.

I got back to the dorm and offered my roommate a cookie, telling her these were a special gift from Grandma. Then I put them away. The next morning, I went to grab a couple of cookies to take with me for the day. There were none left.

Roomie and her friends had gotten the munchies in the middle of the night and she took my cookies and shared them around.

Another time, I went to get some quarters to do laundry, and found that Roomie had discovered my stash of quarters and taken most of them. She didn't understand why I was upset about that either. For one thing, I didn't have much spending money in college, only what I could earn in my work study job, which paid about $20 a week. So someone taking $10 worth of quarters hurt my budget.

For another thing, there were no change machines in the dorms. You had to save up your quarters to do laundry. So now, I really needed to do laundry, but didn't have the right change. I had to go door to door asking people if they had 4 quarters for a dollar bill. People did this all the time in the dorms, but I didn't like to do it, so I simply saved up my quarters. I certainly wasn't saving them up so Roomie didn't have to go around asking for change.

Roomie never did understand why I was upset with her, and, I found out later, started telling not-true stories about me around the dorm--that I never shared anything, that I would come back to the room and count the number of crackers in  the box to see if Roomie had eaten any, that sort of thing.
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o_gal

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Re: Roommate Hell.....
« Reply #3 on: March 14, 2014, 09:55:02 AM »
This isn't about my roomie, who was a sweet girl, but about her boyfriend. Her Evil Boyfriend. But it directly related to her and our room sharing.

I was a junior, she was a sophomore. In freshman year, she had met and started seeing Evil Boyfriend. EB was very controlling - wanted her to only do stuff with him, cut out her friends, monopolized her time, interfered with her studies so her grades dropped, etc. He did a really bad number on her psychologically, and for her sanity, her parents made her break it off with him just before the school year ended. During the summer, they would not permit her to contact him and rebuffed any contact he attempted. She was actually very grateful to them, because it let her see just how bad and Evil he was. She came back and did not intend to get back together with him.

But EB had other plans. Within the first week, he was showing up at our room at all hours to beg her to take him back. Like as early as 6am, which means that it impacted me. I answered the door one day and read him the riot act over it, but it didn't stop him. We both reported him to the RAs but even they couldn't get him to leave her alone. The early morning visits continued, as EB was trying to wear her down by talking to her when she wasn't quite awake yet and very vulnerable. RA and I were trying every avenue we could to get him stopped but nothing was working. The school was turning a blind eye, so to speak, on the whole thing. We were about to get the police involved, if we could (local cops might have tried to turn it back to contacting campus police, who probably wouldn't have done anything.)

Until the day about 5 or 6 weeks into the school year that I had a premonition that morning during classes that she might just need to quit school. Then when I returned to the room that afternoon, she was gone. Her parents had finally had enough and since the school wouldn't do anything, they did. They came and yanked her out of there. I came home to her half of the room empty. EB was in for a shock the next morning  >:D

kherbert05

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Re: Roommate Hell.....
« Reply #4 on: March 14, 2014, 10:10:35 AM »
Suite mate and RA not roommate. Her roommate had been asked to leave due to "unstable" behavior. Suitemate was treated with kid gloves after that, and basically allowed to get away with anything short of murder.


She would play Prince and Amy Grant over and over and over again full blast - forget noise complaints we got in trouble for complaining not her for breaking the rules. So I was happy when her jambox broke. Then she went to the RA - told her I had taken her Jambox got the RA to unlock my room and took mine. This happened several times - even after I told the RA that the radio was mine. The RA had just gotten my jambox out of my room again, and was in suitemate's room when I got home. I went in took her tape out, and was leaving with my belongings. The RA threatened to call the cops for my stealing the jambox. I calm and cold as ice got my DL and pointed out my DL number was engraved on the Jambox. She accused me of stealing the Jambox and engraving my DL number on it.


I went to the campus police and Dean of students and filed an official complaint. My 2nd one against the RA. (The first was after I told her I had been exposed to peanuts and needed emergency medical care  - she said she had a party to get to and I should drive myself to the ER). Basically RA had her master key taken away and if someone got locked out we had to go to the RA down the hall to be let in. She was a junior and wasn't hired back her senior year.


The RA tried to rally support for her and hatred for me - but everyone on the hall couldn't stand the RA, and couldn't stand my Suitemate. Every time suitemate broke rules - especially noise rules complainers were called names by the RA because poor suitemate was so traumatized by her roommates departure. So of course the rules didn't apply to suitemate. RA tried to blame me for the finall act that got the roommate sent home. She had stolen my allergy meds. She even called the campus cops implying I was either an addict or a pusher. (I had daily allergy meds, allergies are kicking my rear meds, and deadly reaction meds in my room.) They laughed at her. Kicker - Suitemate and her Roommate hated each other.
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gingerzing

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Re: Roommate Hell.....
« Reply #5 on: March 14, 2014, 10:15:38 AM »
My first college roommate (first semester of my freshman year) was a sophmore and nice enough at first, but had the whole "what's mine is mine and everything in the room is mine...even if it is yours."  She mocked me when I joined a sorority, but would wear my sorority sweatshirts.  Usually my brand NEW sweatshirts.  Granted, she would wear them inside out, but cut the tags.  She loaned my stuff like my cassette tapes* and told people that they could just keep them.  My stuff always smelled like AquaNet since she would do her hair twice a day during the week and three times on the weekends. 
The worst, and the reason I ended up moving out of the room before the end of the semster, was the night she brought home a "boyfriend" to hook up with. I was in the room asleep!  Added bonus, he thought it would be extremely hi-lar-re-ous if he crawled into bed with me.   >:(   Yeah, I wasn't amused.  Moved into my friend's dorm room that next week -getting permission about 2 weeks later -  and never spoke to first roommate again. 

*usually small stuff like that.  Not my little TV or books.

Coley

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Re: Roommate Hell.....
« Reply #6 on: March 14, 2014, 10:26:27 AM »
My dorm roommate during my freshman year ...

- Lied on her dorm application about not being a smoker, so I got stuck with a smoking roommate. There was nowhere I could be moved.

- Burned strawberry incense every day to "cover" said cigarette smoke.

- Tried to kick me out of the room when her fiance came to visit. When I had nowhere to stay and complained to the RA, Roommate and fiance had to go to a motel. They tried to force me to pay the bill.

- Cheated on said fiance with a teaching assistant, who was married with children.

- Tried to sell drugs out of our room for extra money because her parents cut her off. (The drugs were caffeine pills she bought from the back of a magazine. She wanted to pass them off as "real" drugs. No one bought them. Because they weren't actually illegal drugs, the RA wouldn't do anything.)

- Stole my money, my clothes, other belongings, and any food I had in the room.

- Failed her classes and didn't come back sophomore year. I never saw her again. And for that I'm grateful.

Morty'sCleaningLady

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Re: Roommate Hell.....
« Reply #7 on: March 14, 2014, 11:27:19 AM »
Coley definitely won!

My Freshman year roommate had her boyfriend over a lot.  I slept in anyone else's bed that was available.  Then, one morning, I got particularly disgusting while working at my cafeteria job, so I had to re-shower before class or my library time.  I walked in on that roommate in bed with her boyfriend's best friend.  She would also 'snuggle' during study sessions with any man.  As best I could tell, snuggling, while horizontal, at least required clothing.  At least the clothing was on while I was across the room at my desk studying.

After the end of the semester we went our separate ways.  She eventually transferred to a more 'free' campus (read more open to things like sleeping with your boyfriend and his best friend).  Did I mention that I went to a religious college?
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AzaleaBloom

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Re: Roommate Hell.....
« Reply #8 on: March 14, 2014, 11:44:15 AM »
When I moved out of my parents' house as an adult (in my mid 20's), I rented a room from a couple.  Which was a mistake. 

The female half ("Kelly") had some issues.  She could go from cheerful and upbeat to completely flipping out in less than a minute.  The male ("Larry") was nice enough, but was a self-professed "Mama's Boy" who was more than happy to let Kelly take care of everything - and she was more than happy to do so, as long as EVERYONE knew how hard she worked.

I generally kept to myself - I had the master bedroom with my own half bathroom, and generally went out 4-5 nights a week.  I ate at different times than they did, and for the first few months, things were fine.

Then Larry and Kelly started having problems.

It started when Kelly came home from work one day.  I was chilling in the living room, and she walked in the door.  She went upstairs, and all of a sudden, I started hearing outbursts of swear words, along with "He did NOT just do that!"  She ran into the basement (aka Larry's Man Cave) and started SCREAMING about him about using her stuff.  (although she didn't say stuff.)  I ran upstairs, hid out until it was time for me to go out for the evening, and got out as fast as I could.  When I returned three hours later, it had apparently still been going on, because when I passed Larry in the hallway, he was muttering about crazy people ranting about stupid things.  I have no clue what he used, or why it was that big of a crisis that he used it - and from what I gathered, she had never even told him he couldn't use it.

Kelly refused to run the air conditioning.  We live in a humid climate.  In the summer, it quickly became unbearable.  Opening windows does nothing when the humidity remains in the 60% range.  Larry and I both put window units in our rooms.  I only ran mine when I was sleeping.  He would leave his on all day.  Kelly would leave nasty notes directed at me for leaving my air conditioning on - knowing full well that I didn't do so.  It was easier than actually talking to Larry, though.

Then she turned on me.  On good days, she gave me the silent treatment.  On bad days, she would scream at me for the pettiest infractions.  One time, she and Larry were eating in the living room while I was in there.  He and I were on good terms.  He squeezed the ketchup bottle and it made a loud farting noise.  I made a joke about it, Larry responded with another one, we both laughed.  Kelly hissed at him, "Do NOT talk to her."  I left the room.  I figured it was safer.

Larry's "job" was to take out the trash.  Kelly would not do it, and the one time I did it, she snapped at me that it was LARRY'S job and I was NOT to EVER take the trash out again.  So, as you can imagine, we ended up with a serious fruit fly problem in the kitchen.  While I was out for the day, Larry sent me a quick text saying he was going to bug bomb the kitchen.  The problem seemed to go away.  Then Larry let the trash pile up again, Kelly refused to let anyone take it out, and it happened again.  Kelly made a comment about how it was a good thing that he had to bug bomb the kitchen again, because "It's about time he did something."

Kelly's birthday arrived.  Despite the fact that she was being incredibly nasty to me, I still bought her a small gift - a $10 gift card to a business she patronized on a regular basis, along with a funny card.  I gave it to her in front of Larry, and her initial response was to not say anything.  Larry gave her a look, and she finally mumbled "Thanks."

Somewhere in this time frame, they broke up, but both continued to live there.  I didn't know about the break-up - nothing had been said to me, and nothing was said on Facebook.  In fact, Kelly still had herself listed as "In a relationship", while Larry's relationship status was blank.  Kelly continued to interact with Larry like they were a couple.  I had no clue that they were no long together.  The only hint I had that something was up was when Larry said to me that he "might" be moving out, but nothing was settled, and I didn't need to worry about it because it probably wasn't going to happen.

Then I came home one night from choir practice, and heard loud voices from the basement.  Larry was telling Kelly that she needed to leave, because while he would always care about her, he wanted to move on - and wanted to start bringing girls to the house.  She was sobbing hysterically.  I ran up to my room, shut the door, and waited until I heard one of them come upstairs for the night before I went downstairs to finally eat dinner.  (at about 10:30 PM)

That was when I found out that they had broken up.  And that was when Kelly turned on me completely.

If I was in the same room as her, she would glare daggers at me.  My back would actually start to hurt from the tension.  She would snap at me for simply existing.  She began leaving passive-aggressive notes around the house directed at me.  One of them lectured me about leaving lights on in the main bathroom and basement all day.  I didn't use those rooms in the morning.  There was no way it could have been me - and she knew it.  Prior to this, she didn't care if I used any of their stuff.  In fact, we had agreed when I moved in that it would be fine.  After this, she would flip out about it.  In the meantime, she had no problem with sitting on the couches that I had brought with me when I moved in.  (before that, the only living room furniture they had was a lawn chair.  I bought two couches, an end table, and a coffee table.)

I finally had enough.  It came to a head the night I was watching a show that had been DVR'd.  That had never been a problem - in fact, when I moved in, Larry told me to feel free to add things and watch whatever I wanted.  She started SCREAMING that she had a very specific way she recorded shows and I was not allowed to watch them.  Larry stood there silently.  I left the room.  And from that point forward, I refused to be in the room with her.  There was nothing I could say that would make things better, and she couldn't be reasoned with.

I got on Craigslist, found a nice soon-to-be-divorced woman in her late 30's looking to rent a room, and gave my notice.

When I gave Kelly my notice, her immediate response was, "Well, you know I'm moving out, but whatever."

The notes continued.  She tried to claim I owed her money for food items I had used.  Of those items, the only one I had used had been flour.  She then tried to claim I hadn't paid for internet.  I had incorporated into my rent check.  I did forget once, she told me - nicely - and I promptly paid her and apologized.

I had given them a small deposit when I moved in.  When I gave her my final rent check, I included $20 to cover things she claimed I used (not worth the fight), and told her to keep the deposit to cover the remainder of the month.  (I was moving out halfway through.)  She started sputtering that she needed that money and I would get it back when Larry got new roommates.  I refused.  I knew she had spent the deposit money the minute she got it.

I moved out.  I took several pictures when I moved out of the room in case she tried to claim damage.  Larry inspected when I left (Kelly was, thankfully, at work), and he said everything was fine.  He apologized when I left, saying that he didn't know that Kelly was going to behave the way she did.  I told him that it would have made things a lot easier had he told me they had broken up.  He got a puzzled look on his face, "I thought I did ... you know, when I said I might be moving out?"  Nope.

I had a much better time with my next roommate.  I only moved out of her house because I moved in with my now-DH, and we ended up renting the whole house from her later on.  :)

SingActDance

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Re: Roommate Hell.....
« Reply #9 on: March 14, 2014, 11:46:18 AM »
Not my story, but my best friend's experience with her freshman roommate. It started with the general "bad roomie" stuff (taking her food, borrowing clothes without asking, etc.) The kicker came when one night, Roommate said to BF that if she heard her talking in the middle of the night to not get freaked out because it's just THE GHOST OF HER DEAD STEPBROTHER WHO SOMETIMES VISITS HER AT NIGHT.

BF moved out shortly after that.
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SamiHami

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Re: Roommate Hell.....
« Reply #10 on: March 14, 2014, 11:50:34 AM »
This isn't about my roomie, who was a sweet girl, but about her boyfriend. Her Evil Boyfriend. But it directly related to her and our room sharing.

I was a junior, she was a sophomore. In freshman year, she had met and started seeing Evil Boyfriend. EB was very controlling - wanted her to only do stuff with him, cut out her friends, monopolized her time, interfered with her studies so her grades dropped, etc. He did a really bad number on her psychologically, and for her sanity, her parents made her break it off with him just before the school year ended. During the summer, they would not permit her to contact him and rebuffed any contact he attempted. She was actually very grateful to them, because it let her see just how bad and Evil he was. She came back and did not intend to get back together with him.

But EB had other plans. Within the first week, he was showing up at our room at all hours to beg her to take him back. Like as early as 6am, which means that it impacted me. I answered the door one day and read him the riot act over it, but it didn't stop him. We both reported him to the RAs but even they couldn't get him to leave her alone. The early morning visits continued, as EB was trying to wear her down by talking to her when she wasn't quite awake yet and very vulnerable. RA and I were trying every avenue we could to get him stopped but nothing was working. The school was turning a blind eye, so to speak, on the whole thing. We were about to get the police involved, if we could (local cops might have tried to turn it back to contacting campus police, who probably wouldn't have done anything.)

Until the day about 5 or 6 weeks into the school year that I had a premonition that morning during classes that she might just need to quit school. Then when I returned to the room that afternoon, she was gone. Her parents had finally had enough and since the school wouldn't do anything, they did. They came and yanked her out of there. I came home to her half of the room empty. EB was in for a shock the next morning  >:D

That is so sad that she had to interrupt her life and education to get away from a stalker.

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wolfie

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Re: Roommate Hell.....
« Reply #11 on: March 14, 2014, 11:54:57 AM »
This isn't about my roomie, who was a sweet girl, but about her boyfriend. Her Evil Boyfriend. But it directly related to her and our room sharing.

I was a junior, she was a sophomore. In freshman year, she had met and started seeing Evil Boyfriend. EB was very controlling - wanted her to only do stuff with him, cut out her friends, monopolized her time, interfered with her studies so her grades dropped, etc. He did a really bad number on her psychologically, and for her sanity, her parents made her break it off with him just before the school year ended. During the summer, they would not permit her to contact him and rebuffed any contact he attempted. She was actually very grateful to them, because it let her see just how bad and Evil he was. She came back and did not intend to get back together with him.

But EB had other plans. Within the first week, he was showing up at our room at all hours to beg her to take him back. Like as early as 6am, which means that it impacted me. I answered the door one day and read him the riot act over it, but it didn't stop him. We both reported him to the RAs but even they couldn't get him to leave her alone. The early morning visits continued, as EB was trying to wear her down by talking to her when she wasn't quite awake yet and very vulnerable. RA and I were trying every avenue we could to get him stopped but nothing was working. The school was turning a blind eye, so to speak, on the whole thing. We were about to get the police involved, if we could (local cops might have tried to turn it back to contacting campus police, who probably wouldn't have done anything.)

Until the day about 5 or 6 weeks into the school year that I had a premonition that morning during classes that she might just need to quit school. Then when I returned to the room that afternoon, she was gone. Her parents had finally had enough and since the school wouldn't do anything, they did. They came and yanked her out of there. I came home to her half of the room empty. EB was in for a shock the next morning  >:D

What happened when he came back the next morning?

padua

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Re: Roommate Hell.....
« Reply #12 on: March 14, 2014, 11:58:24 AM »
my first college roommate had a problem with stealing. from everyone. she had piles of things in her closet from various stores and our other four roommates (each dorm had six roommates- this women shared an actual room with me). she would cross their names out with pen and write her own initials underneath.

she was also a compulsive lier. she ruffled quite a few feathers when she told our roommates that she was sleeping with their boyfriends.

when she was mad at me, she threatened to cut my hair off when i slept. good thing i didn't sleep much. after one such threat, my other roommates put her stuff out on the porch in plastic bags and told her it was time to leave. thank goodness. she terrified me.

MindsEye

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Re: Roommate Hell.....
« Reply #13 on: March 14, 2014, 12:07:17 PM »
my freshman year college room mate was (in my opinion) both extremely spoiled and way to used to her mother doing everything for her.

And she thought that I was there to take over the "mother" role for her... she expected me to do everything for her from waking her up in the morning in time to get to her classes to reminding her to do her homework and study for tests to doing her laundry for her.  Yeah, no. 

She didn't last very long out on her own without mommy to take care of her, and dropped out before the end of the first semester.  In a way, I felt sorry for her.  She was technically an adult (over 18) but was not at all prepared for (or even capable of) doing things for herself and on her own. 

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Re: Roommate Hell.....
« Reply #14 on: March 14, 2014, 12:38:25 PM »
My first college roommate was awful. It made me feel better after I moved out to learn she was a nightmare on purpose and planned to be no matter who shared her room.

My first apartment was a town home. It was a 2 bedroom/2 bathroom. Each room was a two person room. If you wanted a room to yourself, you paid double. She wanted a single but didn't want to pay double. So she set out to be the worst roommate ever.

She:
1. Slept with the stereo on all night. She threatened me with bodily harm if I turned it off or down. Never mind that it was my stereo. I called a friend and had him pick up the stereo. That's when she decided to leave my tv on all night. I need 7-8 hours of sleep to function. I was getting 3-4.

2. She complained if I tried to study in my room. The computer was too bright or I typed too loudly. I worked when she wasn't around.

3. Accused me of being dirty. Leaving used personal items and such in the bathroom. Nope! I always left the shared spaces tidy because I hated the nasty notes she'd leave for me.

4. Gave herself black eye and told our other roommates I hit her.

5. Brought random guys over to stay in our room.

6. My roommates caught her loosening the chain on my bike. And weakening seams in my clothes.

7. Ate my food. I went vegan for a month so that stopped her.

8. Cried to everyone that my parents yelled at her when my mom called.

9. Used racist insults to address me upon finding out that I wasn't white.

I lasted a month. She threw a chair at me and told me I was a loser, would always be a loser and that I should kill myself. I was 18. I called mom and dad. Who read the comes the riot act and found me a new placement. I moved to a different apartment with way better roommates. I told all three I was leaving and I would be taking everything I brought with me so they might want to start planning for it.

The nice roommates (who declined to get involved beyond the bike incident) got upset when the realized my moving out was going to cost them a lot of money. What my three roommates failed to realize was I brought: tv, computer, pots and pans, dishes, cutlery, cutting boards, spices, kitchen utensils, VCR (it was the 1990s), the bookshelves, the toilet paper, paper towels, bar soap, cleaning stuff etc. Mom and I had been buying and storing stuff I'd need for college for 2 years. Mom supervised the move to my new space with a checklist. She made sure that if I brought it in, we took it back. The nightmare wanted her own room and she got it but the other roommates weren't happy when they came home that night to find empty spaces when the stuff I planned to share had been. One of the girls said that first trip to the bathroom was highly annoying when she found the tp gone.

To wrap this up, the nightmare only had the room to herself for a month. The complex gave the nightmare a choice: pay double or we put someone else in here. The nightmare refused to pay more. According to the nice roommates, the nightmare got her worst nightmare as a new roommate. She was miserable, unable to sleep, and the first time she threatened the new girl, the nightmare got hers. The police were called. The nice roommates said the nightmare missed me and that I was a good roommate. I really didn't miss them.