First, a little explanation: The university residence where I lived for two years had the students arranged in houses of 11 or 12 people each with their own "single study bedroom". So no room mates, as such, but there could be 12 of you competing for the bathroom facilities if you all had 9am lectures. (Oddly enough, THAT was never an issue - in two years, I can't recall any arguments or problems with that side of things!)
With that said, on with the stories.
House mates from hell, part 1: The Wooden Spoon Disco
In my first year, my room was directly below the kitchen. On one Friday night fairly early on in the year a large group of my housemates went out for the night and...partied extremely hard, shall we say. I wasn't with them and, instead, turned in for the night at about 10pm. When they returned at 3am, it pleased them to go up to the kitchen and communal room - fair enough; empty all the drawers of all wooden cooking implements - regardless of who they belonged to; and then commence drumming on every hard surface available...
House mates from hell, part 2: My Keys!
Four of my housemates would go out on a Tuesday and a Thursday (cheep drinks nights) and would return (blotto) at 2am or later and bang on the door until someone let them in. When asked why they didn't take their keys, their response was "We'll lose them".
House mates from hell, part 3: My Heart Will Go On - And On - And On
One of the four keyless wonders fell in love with the Celine Dion song and played it. Repeatedly. And Loudly. And did I mention repeatedly? It was annoying at 10am. I leave you to supply a suitable adjective for what it was like at 2am... Here, though, I'll own my own irritating behaviour: I retaliated by playing variously Barbie Girl and Welcome to the Jungle, repeatedly and loudly.
House mates from hell, part 4: Reading Week Is For Mayonnaise
In my second year, my room was next door to the kitchen. I was also put with a group of nine friends who'd arranged to live together in their second year (so new bunch of house mates). It just so happened that all nine of the group, were arts students, while the three of us in-comers were either engineering or business studies. We all had reading weeks. Unfortunately, as it turned out, not at the same time. The arts departments scheduled theirs the week before the engineering department did - so the arts students opted to go out mid-week and get blotto, then returned at 2am and started a mayonnaise fight (seriously!) in the kitchen. They hadn't reckoned on an irate engineering student (me, with an 9am lecture the next day) appearing and asking them what the [non-eHell approved language] the thought they were playing at...
[To be fair, most of them apologised the next morning, when sober - which put them several yards up on the bunch I lived with in my first year!]
House mates from hell part 5: The Boyfriend Issue
This one actually started in the group of nine's first year - I just copped for the ending.
When they started uni, R was dating Bob. At some point during the year, Bob cheated on R with L, then dumped R altogether and started dating L officially.
I was introduced to Bob early on in year 2 and found him creepy, needy and generally not a good guy - and that was before I knew the backstory! All in all, then, not someone I was at all interested in. About six weeks into the year, L, Bob, C and I were watching L's TV one evening. L and C went upstairs to get something to drink, leaving me and Bob on our own. Not thirty seconds after L's departure, Bob turns to me and attempts to kiss me. I didn't actually haul off and smack him one (though I probably should have done); I just settled for shoving him off and getting the eHell out of there.
It was a day or so later that I got the whole story about Bob (and that he had previous for this sort of thing). And two or three days later, the whole house was woken in the not so small hours of the morning by Bob and L having a knock down drag out row on the landing - and, mercifully, that was the last time any of us saw Bob.
It also didn't wreck my relationship with L - it was a bit awkward for a couple of days, but the spectacular implosion of the Bob/L thing dealt with that, and we did talk about it a bit later in the year.