General Etiquette > All In A Day's Work

What do I say on my review?

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ShadowLady:
Hi,

Thankfully I have seldom had to ask for help here.  But I have started having issues with my new manager.  We have managed to get along acceptably the last couple of years.  But this is a new one.

In my yearly review yesterday, I get the feeling that she was disappointed that I managed to fulfill my yearly goal.  Then she tells me that she is hearing about issues between me and most of my team-members.  She said that most of them have problems approaching me, and that they all feel that I am talking down to them.  I asked her to give me examples of this, since it is so widespread, but she just said that I need to improve my behavior.  I tried to discuss this further, but she told me to stop arguing with her.  I left, saying I would see what I could do.

Then after I got back to my desk, and thinking it over, I talked to another manager in my area who oversees most of my co-workers, and told her what I had been told in my review.  She told me that she had not gotten any negative information about me, and that my co-workers liked me.  I also could not recall any instances of the kind of behaviour described in the review.

So, I have a strong feeling that manager will try to enter that stuff in my yearly review.  Luckily we do have a field to enter our agreement or disagreement with the review.  I am trying to come up with language to use in case she says something about needing to improve my attitude towards co-workers, or something like that. 

"During our review, *Wendy* (not real name) told me that she had received stories from co-workers of my talking down to them, and that they were afraid to approach me for help, but she declined to give me examples.  If the problem is so widespread, she could give me examples without concentrating on any one co-worker.  I have been polite and friendly to all co-workers, and at one time or another, all of them have approached me for help."

Could y'all give any better suggestions?  Please?

sweetonsno:
The tone strikes an off note to me, and I think it is because you're focusing less on yourself and the feedback you are getting and more on her refusal to give you examples. "She didn't give me an example, therefore she's making it up" isn't really the message you want to send. Instead, I suggest focusing on your own experience. Focus on the facts.

"During the review, Wendy told me that she had received stories from co-workers of my talking down to them, and that they were afraid to approach me for help. However, this is counter to my experience.  I have been polite and friendly to all co-workers, and at one time or another, all of them have approached me for help."

Deetee:
I agree with sweetonsno that the tone is off but I I do think her refusal to offer a single example is important.

"During the review, Wendy told me that she had received stories from co-workers that most of them have difficulty approaching me and all them feel I am talking down to them. However, this is counter to my experience.  I have been polite and friendly to all co-workers, and at one time or another, all of them have approached me for help. I requested that Wendy provide with examples so I would know where and when these incidents were occurring. However, Wendy did not provide any specific examples and told me to stop arguing with her. [I approached other manager and she said  she had not gotten any negative information about me, and that my co-workers liked me]

This is is very concerning to me. I believe that I have friendly and pleasant relations with all my coworkers and I know they have approached me for help (list two recent examples). In the absence of any examples to the contrary, I am unable to address or even understand these issues. In light of this, I am afraid I cannot sign this performance review as I believe it does not accurately reflect my performance"

If at all possible get your other manager to write something to the effect of what she told you verbally and then leave out the part in square brackets above,

sammycat:

--- Quote from: Deetee on March 15, 2014, 06:10:17 PM ---I agree with sweetonsno that the tone is off but I I do think her refusal to offer a single example is important.

"During the review, Wendy told me that she had received stories from co-workers that most of them have difficulty approaching me and all them feel I am talking down to them. However, this is counter to my experience.  I have been polite and friendly to all co-workers, and at one time or another, all of them have approached me for help. I requested that Wendy provide with examples so I would know where and when these incidents were occurring. However, Wendy did not provide any specific examples and told me to stop arguing with her. [I approached other manager and she said  she had not gotten any negative information about me, and that my co-workers liked me]

This is is very concerning to me. I believe that I have friendly and pleasant relations with all my coworkers and I know they have approached me for help (list two recent examples). In the absence of any examples to the contrary, I am unable to address or even understand these issues. In light of this, I am afraid I cannot sign this performance review as I believe it does not accurately reflect my performance"

If at all possible get your other manager to write something to the effect of what she told you verbally and then leave out the part in square brackets above,

--- End quote ---

I like this, and I agree that it's very important to keep in the part about Wendy refusing to give examples of any wrong doing. Without that sentence it gives off the impression that Wendy was correct and did in fact provide proof of her claims.


--- Quote from: ShadowLady on March 15, 2014, 04:50:43 PM ---I get the feeling that she was disappointed that I managed to fulfill my yearly goal. 

--- End quote ---

This part jumped out at me. It sounds like she feels threatened by the good work you do (maybe her work has been compared to yours and she's come off less favourably, or she's worried you might be promoted over her or something?).

I'd watch my back around her.

veronaz:
OP, I can understand why she didn’t give you specific examples and “name names”.  That would lead to a “he said/I didn’t/she said” back-and-forth. AND it might lead to various altercations between you and others.

Don’t misinterpret this, but just because the other manager said she wasn’t aware of anyone having problems with you doesn’t mean that your manager wasn’t told otherwise by several people.  I’m not saying you’ve done anything wrong, just that not everyone is always aware of everything.  Frankly, I don't see why you even went to another manager and brought up issues that your own manager said to you in your review.  I think there is a good possibility that will be repeated.

You’re asking what to do IF something is "entered" into your review.  I'm a little unclear - didn't you just have your yearly review?

Be careful.  I would not say anything about manager “refusing” to name names – that’s too accusatory and certainly does nothing to improve relations with your manager.  As far as putting something in writing,at most, I would say “Manager and I disagree about problems I’ve allegedly had with unspecified co-workers.  However, I’ll put forth more effort to work more smoothly with others.”

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