Etiquette School is in session! > "Have you tried the bean dip?"

"I don't want to hear this" - success with MIL


The Sweetie and I visited her mother this weekend. MIL is recently widowed, and what little brain-to-mouth filter she had is gone.

I was tutoring her in how to use Facebook, and while looking at The Sweetie's page, saw one of her grandchildren, "Susie" (age 16),  listed among The Sweetie's friends. MIL has been pathologically angry at Susie since she didn't sent a thank-you note for something when she was 8 years old.

As soon as MIL saw the name, the rant started, "Oh, Susie! What's she doing here! She's such a little b-word!..."

I put my hand up and said, "I don't want to listen to you complain about her."

"But she's such an ungrateful little..."

(hand up again) "I don't want to hear it."

Blessed silence, and resumption of the lesson on how to search for people on Facebook.

I had one of those moments with my MIL last night.

MIL: I saw on the news about someone finding a diamond at the Diamond National Park last week.
Me: Yes, I have been hearing about those finds for years. It's pretty cool.
MIL: Well, I know it has been going on for years. I think I am going to go there.
Me: That's great.
MIL: But see, last week one was found with blah blah specs and on.
Me: Yes, it's pretty cool.

MIL changed the subject. It was FIL's going away party and he barely got a word in.

Full credit goes to The Sweetie for developing this method. Last fall (before FIL died), MIL was going on and on and on about the neighbor's tree.

The Sweetie finally just said, "I'm not enjoying listening to you talk about this," and left the room.

Kudos to the Sweetie!  Succinct and proactive.  I admire that!

excellent! i actually used this on my father a few weeks ago. we have *very* different political/social views. He said something about the crime rate that prevails because of "all those redacted [people of certain ethnicity]". i didn't argue or get angry like i usually do - i just looked at him and said "we don't talk that way in this house" (it helped that we were actually in my house). he said "but it's true! Those [people of certain ethnicity] are responsible for..." i repeated "we don't talk that way in this house". he finally gave up.


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